A broken pencil
and some cruel words
a nuisance
an uncomfortable memory of a fantasy
that's all I am
now

Keeping a corpse
as company
cold hands to match mine
at least this one
stays
At least this one
listens
warmth it seems
corrupts

I wake up every morning
with blood between my teeth
so I keep my mouth
shut
as tight as I can
I don't want the red
in my friends' eyes
I clench closed harder
and bleed more
but then you say hello
and your deep voice
numbs my gums
and I'm not afraid
to give more than
a Mona Lisa smile

I don't have scars
I have words
buried into my skin
seeping deep past my flesh
through an innocent pen
wielded by a ruthless
broken poet

The turn of the corner
is where the rainbows
hide
learn to cut corners
(glass and walk)
you'll find transfixing
color

The best of intentions
has fed the worst of habits
birthing bitter memories
Echoes that crawl and creep
when you're not looking
into the shadows
where you pretend not to know
they are

A gargantuan
among flimsy slips
the card
Where the world was dropped

Countless cards and
Infinite ink just
so that you might turn around
and flick your eyes up and down
the length of my body
and
spread a soft smile
gently
warm and honest
across your flushed face
you may turn right back around
bashful
so nobody sees
but I saw
and it was worth
every word

Let's destroy her
softly
so she knows
It's all her own
innocent undoing

My smile
so 'easy'
muffles the sound
of the scream
swirling in my chest
ready to tear through
my heart
and break past my
flashed teeth

My ears are ringing
it's because nobody
is willing to hear
my cries for attention

I don't share this view
Not with anyone I know
maybe I have my
pen and journal
but as alive as they are
they're just dead things
so really
I'm lonely

It's like I'm
building a house
but I don't know I'm
made to live in trees
and I don't know
stairs are supposed to go up
so I just
spiral in place
with hammer and nails
in hand
and an open white wall
future in mind
trying my best
my absolute best
to ignore the leaves
growing from the vines
wrapped around
each and every vein

I traded the view
which was lovely
albeit lonely
for this cramped
poorly-carpeted
hallway

You missed your chance
his ears were free
But you hid silent
under the canvas where he
can't see
and won't want

My pen is running from me
it knows the power it holds
The danger in my hand
that wields it

A winding all
a labyrinth of dreams
She is lost and alone
each room is
a history of a world
that is not her own
and she opens every door
with so much pain
leaving it open
forcing herself not to look back
at the ****** knobs and handles
She pushes her feet
her eyes
forward
wherever that may turn to be

I was broken
pieces of glass
on a hard unforgiving floor
You knew I was broken
You told me I was broken
yet you took up a hammer
and crushed
what I had left
of myself
into a dust
coarse
and painful even to look at

lift me up
I want to touch clouds
from your golden wings
they'll melt in the rain
but the fall
will be worth the ecstasy

Second time
around
here we go
or we may not
so I'll board the merry-go-round
this carousel of disappointment
expectant as always
I shouldn't be

And so the
broken-hearted
becomes a
heartbreaker
oh what a force
pain and lust
together are

I walked myself into a
house of mirrors
where I'm slowly drowning
in my own well-wrought tears
I didn't get to say goodbye
so at every turn
I see myself
and choke on a grim hello

Spotlight on an empty field
Where is the knight?
He slumps by a stream
I don't know what he waits for
or why I can't look away
All is concentrated
in that one spot
where nothing really happens

The more you look
the more you see
little things
like a patch of red
amongst neatly clipped
chocolate hair
endearing little traits
pieces of a visual whole
that tie the vision together

Take my hand
I'll show you how to
build a castle
with lofty ceilings
and a foundation
of curious cracked concrete
But the windows will be
wonderful stained glass
and the stairs
winding

The best intentions
started a new
civilization
in the waves of youth
but even the magnificence
of newfound freedom
was fleeting
faded into a
dull sickly color

She has blood in her hair
the girl she doesn't know
working both ways
imagining sensations that aren't there
inventing words and ignoring old sounds
Let's give her a hand
this unwitting princess
we all want to save her voice
we all want her to see her own crown

It's the tree of life
get it?
I hope you do because

I'm going in and out
and I need something to
ground me

and you need soil
something to hold

NEVER GO BACK
a finality I hope not
to hear
in my own fate
is it flexible?
I need the option

Smooth covers hold
breaking at the spine
the weight of my conscious

Personified
with the floral art
I'm filled with words
maddening it can't stop
it moves my fingers
and I try to employ my eye
elsewhere
fruitless
but a bursting yield
spills through my pen
Does the irony or the
exhaustion **** me?

What's the impression you got?
I got that you were impressed
and now you're gone
so I'm confused and
abandoned

Answer me
Answer me
You don't understand
please
these ears were made for
laughter
love
the speech of friends
please
answer me
You don't understand
what silence does to me
I'm begging you
please
answer me
anybody
answer me

A proposal is not a proposition
and a step toward adulthood
is not
a step back from childhood

Unlikely on what ends?
How do I dream
When I never ever know
to begin with?

The thought of
seeing him
vis-a-vis
drains my
confidence
that soaked me
mère seconds ago
where there was fire
sickly butterflies
thrash

Sometimes the worst
kind of stress
is the one you can't see
but feel
when you wake up
after thinking you were
safe
to breathe

My head hurts
because you're forcing my jaw
shut
where you once
opened up an easy smile

I'm starting to see shadows
in the peripherals of my
memory
the noises are a muffled
echo
this illness filters
I'm scared
I'm alone
stumbling over what was
always there

Quiet sincerity
and a deep brown stare
I like sitting here with you
engrossed in our philosophy
where will the conversation lead
that I could foresee wistfully
but a practical short time reality
pervades
so I am content with you before me

Close your eyes little girl
close them and dream
Dream of a day
when all you want is what you have
Dream of a you
completely yourself
Dream of a future
you can live with
Close your eyes little girl
close them against the reality of now
but don't forget
it's what you have to get through
first

Have you ever seen
the inside of bones?
look into your own
the red mess
impossibly deep
pour it out like a slow night
watch it closely
the fragments fall
all you are on the floor
clarity comes
once that experience of
breaking and melting
comes to pass

My strong convictions
which I had
written out on my arm
are fading
and I'm begging them
to stop
to stay
but
I can't see ten enough
anymore

I'm clicking my pen
against my teeth
thinking of you
hoping you'll hear
I don't know to what end
but I don't want it to end
some beginning things
would be lovely

Shake me down
just try
I'm walking up
in the air
the wind
playing with my hair
like a lover
excited to have me back in his bed
after a long
long
time away

Oh the times we're living in
I can't feel my body
but for the burning in my throat
Bathed in talent
and guiding experience
fighting a cold numbness
lifting headrush
I lose the meaning
I lose the direction
But not the heart
so tell me
aren't these the times we're living in?

I walk alone
strut and tall
I fly
by
all leather boots
and smeared eyeliner
with a poisoned lip
you can't touch
my black lace
or wild hair
I have a ******* tongue
and no ***** for eyes
and a rhythm in my
woman's hips
Don't you see me flying?
smirk

Alone
in a darkened room
I have hidden
with the
chalkdust remnants
of a dissembled nation

I want to run away
like my mother told me to
but my feet are nailed
to the unforgiving uncertain
concrete floor

If I sigh louder
will they notice?
At what decibel
will I sound damaged?
Do I have to scream
my hurts in their faces
to make them hear my pain?
To make them care.
My problems must air
in tears
and blood