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Maddie Lane Jun 2015
come sit next to me.
I won't bite, I promise.
Turn towards me,
look me in the eye,
show me something that I can hold on to.
I'm grasping for anything to tell myself that I am alright,
that you are beside me.
I reach and feel nothing,
did I do something wrong?
Do you find me repugnant?
Did I hold on too tight?
I'm sorry,
I've done this before,
ask for too much (while getting nothing at all)
pushing and pulling
pushing even harder
searching searching searching
for anything at all.
It's alright,
just sit down next to me.
I've changed my mind,
I don't need anything at all.
Just the feeling of your body near mine is enough

(for now)
Maddie Lane May 2015
I don't even know where to start
don't know where it began
certainly don't know where it ends
or when it ends
I only know the middle parts
I only know some of the happier times
but more of the bad times
I cannot tell you the exact time that it turned
cannot remember when we started to curdle
like milk
it just stopped being good
Maddie Lane May 2015
There's a glass on the edge of the table, it's sweating bullets and they're dropping to the kitchen floor. I'm saying, "I don't know if I can do this anymore,  you never listen to me" and you're laughing to yourself about something irrelevant. You're singing to a song that isn't even playing, you're making notes in your head of what shape the clouds are outside our kitchen window. I'm saying, "This isn't what I ever wanted for us" and you're still not listening. I'm begging, "Would you please listen to me? Just this once" and you're still not clued in. You ask what's for lunch and then are confused by the look of extreme hurt on my face. I repeat myself, "I don't know if I can do this. I'm sorry." and you're on your knees. Sobbing. Apologizing for becoming this man, the man even you didn't know you were capable of. You're asking where this went wrong, what you can do to fix this, and I'm throwing my arms in the air. "I don't know what to tell you" I said. You're begging for me not to give up on you, telling me that you can become the person that I fell in love with. "Calm down, calm down, okay." I say, swearing I won't give up on you just yet. You wipe the tears off your cheeks, pick yourself off the floor, grab me by the waist and smile. "Please move that glass, it's going to fall."
Maddie Lane Apr 2015
your complaints
your worries
your sorrows
to yourself.

Just for a night
I beg of you.

I don't mean to sound selfish
but I want to ravage you
hold your flesh between my teeth
mark you as my own.

I don't want to forget this night
and I don't want you to forget me
at least until the marks fade away.
Maddie Lane Apr 2015
beg for
s  p  a  c   e
,
break my heart
a little each day

it's fine,
I'm used to it.
but
that won't stop me
from trying to pull you closer
  Apr 2015 Maddie Lane
Madeysin
I could write goodbye poems all night,
But all I'm good at is staying,
Maddie Lane Apr 2015
Us
We are falling apart,
rapidly,
without any warning.

I'm frantically pulling threads from my sweater,
trying to tie us together,
but for some reason it won't work.

I think I know the reason why.
You're pulling away,
silently.

You're resisting as I use up all my strength
trying to reel you in.
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