I spent last night
Crunching numbers

10
Times you led me on

9
Nights we stayed up talking

8
Weeks since you decided I wasn’t worth it

7
Crushed up poems on the floor of my room

6
Outfits thrown aside to make sure I look my best

5
Days I spent trying to get over you

4
Friends that know what we did

3
3 a.m FaceTime calls

2
Coats of mascara

1
Big regret

I'm so sorry for all of this
You didn't know
I wasn't able to tell you
Every time I open my mouth I feel like I want to scream
But silence and sobs are the only things that slip from my lips
You didn't know  
I was sitting on the floor
You didn't know
there were tears streaming slowly down my face
And I'm so sorry I couldn't bare to tell you
I couldn't bare to be the burden
I didn't want to put the weight upon your shoulders
They were already being weighed down by your troubles
You didn't know
I was struggling
That's my fault
I'm so sorry
You didn't know

the start of another age;
i no longer wish i wasn’t lonely
because the past is long gone
and i have found peace within myself

Today my friend told me
I was acting strange
I gave her the
excuse
of a sugar high
But really,
...
I was just being
myself