Today my relatives went back to their country.
They said "we'll miss you" and "see you soon".
Those words-- typical words you say to someone before you 'leave'.

When in reality, when you leave,
You don't say anything at all.

Broken people are beautiful. Their shattered parts are clear. You can observe and see what's in their minds. And their rough, edgy sides... oh, the excitement to discover! Those large pieces of them -- you can probably hug the life out of it. The smaller portions can easily hide and wait for you to seek it.

But take caution: Once you mishandle them, you'll get a cut.

Maybe my dreams of us
Are recorded inside my pillow

Maybe it's either those dreams about what we could have had

Or why you had to break my heart

Maybe that's why my pillow's damp every night

Maybe that's the reason for my sleepless nights

I guess I would have to let him go.

"But you said he was a part of you."

     *So what about it?

"Then you'd have to lose a part of yourself too."

     *That's the point: it's the time I'll lose myself tonight... But this time it won't be by his side.

The Lady Moon
Used to glow
With all the joy
We've yet to know

     But now her face
Has fallen apart
And broken--
Is her weary heart

     To a crescent phase;
Half of her emotions seen
A mysterious night-ruler,
The sad, pale queen

     She is crestfallen
With the falling stars
She is the lonely Venus
Left by the gone Mars

i would've
saved you
had you
reached out
for me

F
A
  L
   L
    I
    N
     G

Goes the boy
Who thought he was in infallible
He always rejects the blame

F
A
L
L
I
N
G

Goes the girl
Who thought her heart was guarded
But whenever she heard his name

The boy was falling,
and slowly failing
With his naive mind
And nonchalant heart
He hopes for the best
But expects the worst
And lets things be
So he wont have to do his part

The girl was falling,
and slowly hurting
With her aching knees buckling
And her strong spirit crumbling
She thought she could be
His lone savior, his lone queen

F a l l i n g
went the girl through the sky
The atmosphere cutting against her skin
And he set her on fire
As she warmed up to him
Foolish play with sparks
Until he ran out of matches
And left her alone
Flames burned out
Glowering embers in the dark

i might have become
         h o l l o w
         as the bottles i drank
                       numb
             as my cold fingers
      e m p t y
        as the inbox on my phone
         disoriented
  as how this poem is typewritten

how much more naiveté
do i have to go through
in order to realize
because i know im hurting
yet i dont know how to explain the pain

i am right
to say that
you have left me behind
before whatever we had
was headed to a specific direction
they say "what goes up,
must come down"
but i think you stayed up there
and decided to not fall for me over again

I dont trust people
as much as i used to
Knowing i'd get stabbed
In the back anyway

And now i dont even trust myself
Because i know i'd stab myself
Through my heart
To numb all these lonely feelings

He was calm
But he was drowning
And i was panicking
Trying to save him
He thought he could swim away
From all his problems
But he only ended up
Diving deeper into them

And i'm losing my breath for you
But i dont think that i could save us

Dont let go of me
But hold on
At least one of us wont drown alone

"Don't mention him to me;
He's such a joke,"
She laughed hysterically,
As tears rolled down her face.

But deep down,
I knew she meant to say
"He's such a ****",
And those tears of hers
Weren't of laughter.

And i would listen to paramore
to find those words i relate to
And i would turn the volume up
to numb the pain

The drums rock my mind
In tune with my heartbeat
As i scream out the lyrics
Those words i yearn to tell you
With the strums and guitar riffs
Which my heartstrings play out

I keep paramore on play
To express and numb it all more

since i'm no one special
but just another wide-eyed girl
desperately falling in love with you

with my face that blend into the crowds
yelling your name as they reach out for you

and my words and rapid heartbeat
swallowed down by their screams

i can only hope you take at least
one look in my direction
and i'll take it as if you looked at me
like we were the only ones in that room

who said i needed SOS
to heal these wounds
when i all needed was XOX
just from you?

there will only be two things that will happen to you:

either you end up in my poems of heartbreak, remorse, and sadness,
or,
you end up beside me with my hand in yours.

oh but the joy and beauty
of the unrequited love

for she loves as far as she could
even with him miles away
and people between them

and she loves unconditionally
and though she hopes for the best,
she doesn't expect much from him

so she just gives and gives.
caring and loving.
and i think that's beautiful.

they say "believe"

but the logical side of me believes
that we only have a blur chance of being together

and yet the hopeful depths of my soul
lurk in my bedroom at 2a.m.
and in those times whenever
you lurk around campus

i would reach out to you
if i could.

i guess it's the thoughts that keep me going;
running my fingers through your hair
feeling your fingers slide against mine
hearing the steady beat of your heart
seeing the way your brows furrow

and when that time finally arrives,
i'll never let go

And i wish i could take away your sadness
with my arms around your frame
and to make your pain disappear
With my hands holding yours
And to remove the guilt eating you from the inside
With my love flowing in your veins
And to wipe those warm tears away
with my fingertips and lips
If you'd just let me in
We'll never have to feel hurt again

What if we were together?
I'd listen to all your jokes,
Even the bad ones.
I'd cover your favorite songs,
No matter what the genre.
I'd cook your favorite meal,
And bake you sweet treats.
But what would you do?
But i guess for now
All i want is just for you to love me first

in math class
and all we talk about is algebra
adding and subtracting
absolute values and square roots

when all on my mind is you
and as long as i add you to my day
it already sums up my week

but if you subtract yourself from my life
i'd fail even before the day ends
and i'd crumble faster than a
simple division equation

{j.m.}

It's not that I'm needy or desperate,
but the fact that I don't want to be lonely.
It's not that I am scared of people,
but how I am waiting for someone to save me from this mind of fear.
Being in a room filled with people
and yet I, as my true self, have no one to be with, in fear of anyone knowing I am one-in-the-universe and deciding that I am not worth their effort and time, and in the end, I get left behind all over again.

What tragedy has seeked me out this year, I know not.
For in hope I expected, but t'was disappointment I got.

The little Toblerone bar,
a sweet one he is,
with his heart all a flutter.
He wanted to be mighty,
with as much strength
as he could muster.

Powerful as the pyramids!
Cool as the Swiss Alps!
Majestic as the Everest!
He dreamed of it all;
to become
greater than China's Wall.

But what he never realized
Through his chocolate brown eyes
Was his pride before his own fall.

Like the Everest, Swiss Alps,
Even the mysteious Pyramids,
Humans have stripped them
of their treasure.
Because Toblerone was broken down
to be eaten just for pleasure.

He skipped and he hopped.
He popped and he locked.
He danced with his feet,
to Mcdonalds' fast beat.

He puffed up with pride;
warm in the inside.
And fresh with his lettuce;
junk food is his fetish.

He never thought what would come;
he thought it was all fun.
In a funky yellow wrapper
and into the warmer he went.
He heard the kaching of the cashier--
someone's money was spent.
He was dragged to the front line
where the lights were all bright.
Like he was sent in for interrogation;
Like in a murderer's plight.

And like that he went.
A tear from his bread skin:
the top of his sesame seed bun head
human teeth sank in.
He yelled and he screamed
with all that he got.

He thought he was happy.
But he's everything he's not.

Once upon a time,
in a land faraway,
lived an Oreo biscuit.

Everyone judged him--
he was black on the outside,
and white on the in.
He thought he would
never ever fit in.

Now in that land of biscuits,
where most were brown,
they all thought Oreo's
the strangest in town.

But little did they know
he was the favorite of the lot.
For in the human world,
his kind was the most bought.

Everyone learned to love him,
even the Fita guy.
But he told Oreo,
"Don't trust humans;
you won't want to know why."

But the Oreo boy,
he was a curious one.
He thought he needed to enjoy,
go out and have fun.

Later that night,
someone grabbed him, behold--
fear glazed over Oreo's eyes
over what he was told.

He was twisted and dunked
in milk till he drowned.
Then broken forever
and his life was summed.

For whatever Fita said,
it became so true.
Whatever happened to Oreo
Hopefully, won't happen to you.

oh my bed!
my beloved!
you catch me
whenever i fall
wrapped up in
your warmth and softness
you never cease to calm me
with your fellow pillows
how i seek you
after every sorrow!
how i yearn for you
after every tiresome day!
you comfort me
in the most astounding ways
when all i do is lie on you
lazing about as time floats away.
my best friend
i'll always love you
forever and always

love me once,
leave me twice,
the first
i let it go.
school and friends,
compromise,
you told me
"don't do so."

love me once,
leave me twice,
i knew you,
all too well.
promised words;
a broken heart,
down the hole
i fell.

love me once,
leave me twice,
you left me
all alone.
with lack of warmth
and happiness,
without you
was not home.

people say, "expect the worst." well, i say, "expect the inevitable."

sometimes in life, we always think there's an end to everything; a negative end, a sad death of something, that we'd get the idea of not living anymore and join a dead person or relationship in the grave. but in reality, death isn't always about end either, because after a death, you move on. we can't expect a death or an end, and that's it... we have to move on. i think moving on is inevitable. we may not notice it, but soon we find ourselves being okay with the fact that a relative's six feet under or that we don't get sweet 'goodnight' messages from a significant one. we just keep pressing forward and surviving the remaining days of our lives. living just as we used to, only, with a better perspective of everything around us, especially with the inevitable.

******
(noun)
1. any undesirable or troublesome plant, especially one that grows profusely where it is not wanted
2. a cigarette
3. ungainly person or animal

the weeds in the garden,
though sometimes unwanted,
sprout from the dirt yet full of life,
little in worth, yet lovely.

the weeds that we smoke,
dangerous to our health,
tasting bittersweet like memories
yet brings us short-lived ecstasy.

the **** of my life,
he was nothing but trouble
that brought about mirth
in my too-perfect garden;
he frustrated the people
who tended to me,
growing back into my life
every time they plucked him out.

unwanted but lovely.
dangerous but lively.
he was my whole definition of ****.

whenever i feel down, i look on to my favorite things:

angels
books
chocolate
dogs
environment
flowers
guitar
h­ugs
ivory
juice
kisses
love
mercy
nirvana
oasis
pizza
queens
rock­s
sweaters
tea
_
vivaldi
wonderland
x-men
yogurt
zebras

but i'm missing
u

i fear every night,
that the memory of you,
would enter my room
and sit beside my sleeping form.

except that i can't be able to move,
numb as you kiss me slowly.
drawing breath from my lungs,
i, glued in a helpless position.

and when you're done,
the tears streak my cheeks
at the sight of you
sliding away from me, walking up.

oh- i hate this beautiful nightmare
of having to watch you leave in the end.
but then again, this dream
is the only way to see you again.

and it's truly a shame,
how i could never run after you,
just like in real life,
paralyzed in place.

the thunder is my cry,
the lightning, angered veins.
the tears fall from the sky,
known as summer rains.

you left me there,
frozen with a tired heart.
cold with winds high,
i watched you go,
a final
weather of goodbye.

he did come back
but
it was
all
too
*late