When I look up at the skies
with all their celestial glory
of endless blues
silver clouds
and clustered diamonds

far into the infinite galaxies
where my mind is free to imagine
yet all i could think of
beyond infinity
is **you

You are my only hope
The truth that dealt the consequence
I know you don't feel the same
You're sensible but it doesn't make sense
I know I'm gonna weep my heart out
You know I'm gonna try much harder
But it isn't the thoughts in my head
Pulling me under this time

from rain,
should i turn into a storm?
howling like the wind,
making noise,
to get you to hear me?
more raindrops; more tears,
to make you feel
drenched in remorse?
harsher and faster,
much like a hurricane,
to get you to see
how messed up i am?
when i'm stronger
like the storm,
would you love me more?

you said that
you love it when it rains.
little did you know that
it rains
whenever i shed a tear.
maybe that's why
you seem happy
even if i'm hurt;
you enjoy
whenever i cry.
and i'll always end up
exchanging your sorrow
for my euphoria,
in hopes of you
loving the rain—
me, my tears, and my pain.

sometimes, i'm on the verge of
forgetting you.
and sometimes, i find myself
deep in thought
unconsciously thinking of you.

we were like spring
colorful
fresh
a growing love

you were like summer
hot
fun
a wanderlust; roadtrip

i was like autumn
falling
red
blown away

you turned into winter
cold
harsh
lifeless eyes

and the seasons ended there
lasting for exactly a year

please, please, please
lie next to me

i want to feel
your warm breath tickle my ears
while you whisper-sing lyrics to me
i want you to feel
my eyelashes flutter
against the skin of your neck

i want to watch your chest
rise and fall as you breathe steadily
i want you to watch me
dream as i slowly stir in my sleep

as the stars and moon
watch over us in the dark night
where the glow from my fairy lights
skim over your ****** features
casting dark shadows on the wall

the tune you hum
the words of love
this is our lullaby

strut into my life
confidence overflowing
like a model
you captured my attention
fierce yet breathtaking
charm entrancing everyone
and as quick as you came
your show was over
and you left
leaving me to wonder
when will i ever see you again
runaway model

i would recall every bit of you
when i would listen to our playlists
or songs which i could relate to

on nights like these
an ache would strike my heart
and i would recount every moment we spent

those times when you asked if i was tired
and you would gently grab my shoulders
staring into my face with your curious eyes

those times whenever we said goodbye
it would always end up with me
being in your arms' grasp

those times we listened
to ed sheeran and taylor swift
and understood every lyric

it's sad how i can't relive those memories tonight
and it's sad how i can only replay them on my mind
especially on nights like these

you're sweet
with your personality
you're colorful
with your emotions
you're soft inside
when you have a crunchy (tough) exterior
you're expensive,
no, you're worth more than anything

you're a treat in my life
you're just like parisian macarons

it's strange how i remember everything

all but your voice

i could remember how you smiled
whenever i looked at you
i could remember your strong spices scent
whenever we embraced
i could remember your long legs walk slowly
and i had to drag you along
i could remember your long arms around me
when we said our last goodbye
i could remember how you chewed your food
quick, with pepper and salt
i could remember how you laughed loudly
when you told me i was funny
i could remember your questioning look
whenever you didn't understand me
i could remember the way you held my hand
and when you entwined my fingers with yours
i could remember how you had your eyes closed
when i watched you in the mirror
i could remember you drink tea
and sipping from the thick straw
i could remember you staring quietly at me
whenever i explained further
i could remember your eyes lighting up
whenever you talked about something you love
i could remember the hesitance
when your hands let go of my waist
i could remember how impressed you were
when i drew that dreamcatcher on your skin
i could remember your reactions
and the words which go along with it

everything, i promise, i remember and know
all but your voice

i guess they could call it
a 'solar eclipse'
when we crossed paths
and i blocked your world

you were brighter than me
with your endless glow
fiercer with your fire

i was just cold and gray
with my pale light
reflecting your luminosity

legend has it
that this phenomenon
was considered unlucky
and i was your thorn
among your rose-filled life

i reckon
you were getting tired
as i stood in your way
and bothered you endlessly

and just like any ordinary
'solar eclipse'
this would all have to end
and it eventually did

come be my Mad Hatter
and let me be your Alice

drive me insane
with your upside-down reality

we would kneel together
in front of the
Queen of Hearts

don't let go of me
lest i awake from this dream
and never see you again

Definition: A term used for someone who hides his/her pain and misery behind a fake smile.*

i know you want me to be happy
i know you want the best for me
but it hurts so much
so i hide behind a smile

either you don't know me too well
or you don't care at all
you just don't seem to notice things now
how everything has changed

you used to be my reason for happiness
but if i depended on you always
how would i be happy
when you're gone

now i am truly happier
even if you're gone
you taught me a lesson when you left
because you seem happier without me too

"i love the rain"
that's what you said
and i agreed almost immediately

even up to now
i still hear the raindrops
as the sound of your footsteps
and your soothing coarse low voice

the smell of rain
as the scent of your cologne
and the warmth you radiate with each hug you give

the streaks of rain running down my window
as those of your tears when i imagine you cry
and when you laugh heartily

the only thing that the rain and your being could ever differ about
is the fact that the rain
will always be there
but you won't

you, my first happiness
you, my first interest
you, my first smile
you, my first touch
you, my first interlock
you, my first song
you, my first bloom
you, my first embrace
you, my first love
you, my first sun

you, my first fall
you, my first sorry
you, my first ignorance
you, my first tear
you, my first sorrow
you, my first hatred
you, my first wilt
you, my first death

and i, your last moon