I fill myself with strange men
Bottle innards
And illegal blends.

On a one way system,
Labelled “self-destruct”
By the spectators and their lust.

Driven by my insanity –
Fuelled by lacking faith in humanity –
Caused by my depravation,
Isolation, and lack of conscious restoration.

That pitied stare cast from judging eyes
Sends chilled shivers down my breaking spine.

My will is breaking –
The “fight” others speak of
To “pull through”,
An obvious deficit in me.

Encouraged by insanity,
Or does she welcome it?
Have I cocooned my insanity – nurturing it?
Or have I always been so tumble-lost,
Void and weakly?

Self – Destructive or it destructing self?
Oh me and my, and our insanity.
Is it me at fault,
Or humanity?

If it hurts – do you scream?
I vow to keep my silence,
An unspoken promise.
A love like ours.

I’m bound in chains – but not you –
Outside I may seem free,
My voice yet fails me.
A sound like yours.

I feel no pain –
A weight still do I feel –
One of metal small and round –
A ring – saying wedding bound.

Closed doors mark hidden lives –
Soundless screams – end forgotten dreams
Words I’ll never say – sounds you’ll never make,
I wish you a mistake, but then –

A love like ours
Never promised a wondrous hour.

You know those moments
When you are content -
Realising everythings going to be alright?



Yeah, neither do I.

Be grateful for the darkness
that conceals your tears,
breaks your heart,
and brings forth your fears.

(a.d)

I met myself one evening,
It was a chance encounter –
Like the chilled meeting of
A ghost from your darker past.

I stayed awhile –
Staring at me – while I stared back.
Neither me knew which to say –
Each the others misery company.

After time the ghostly figure asked aloud
“What is wrong with you?”
All that mine self could reply –
“What is right with  us?”

Questions which neither can deny,
Answers naught can create.

I know that I know naught –
That there is infinity
Of that which I’ll never know –
Understand, cherish or learn.

That does not stop the longing –
The yearning of mine heart
To comprehend why you
Must be the harshest cruel –
Everything and nothing
to me.