I am not sure there are words to explain my
Loathing –
Of that diminutive seen icon.

It reduces me to being exposed –
To myself – to my feeling
The raw and cutting pinch
That jars the edges of my heart,
Of my sensitivity.

That putrid button
Has lead me to realise
My love for you is real –
And it has been denied.

This ones for you - not me
I wish I could teach you about the bee -
Drunk on nectar, dreams of sweet honey.

Do you dream of me I ponder?
I dream of you when grey -
by you, I hope I'll still lay.

Both of us caring for our honeybee
Adoring sweet honey - oh love!
Love of money - honey honey bee!

Dreams come true - or else you loose -
Lost - I lost you - and all that honey -
Honey - honey was a wasp!

I watch a moment more -
the hands they turn, and rise.
I know not - what to expect
With each exhaling breath.

The hands, again they move -
not together, but with each other.
A syncronised harmony -
both moving, changing blissfully.

I'd look away, but I daren't not
I stare amazed, awaiting -
trying to catch or freeze I know not -
The tick-tock of that enormous clock.

No one's youer than you,
Or me-er than me

So lets be the us-iest us,
That we can be.

After that, just let it be.

My apathy is disgusting!

I think?

I wish you would get me a diamond ring already,
I know I am still young,
But we’ve been together for so many years
It’s been five already – that’s almost scary –
Well it would be scary if I could feel
You make sure I don’t though
You scream a darkened silence at me
And smother me with nothing.

I’m not saying a pretty diamond
Would salvage you, or make up for all
But I’m not a fool –
You and I
Are carved forever.

Not that I believe in forevers –
You made sure of that one
Right after you took all the FEELING.
I’m drowning in the nothing where you suppress me
I feel like Victorian bridal doll –
Entrapped, encased, suffocating
Watching in silence, in a dress that’s not mine
No one can hear me shouting

I can’t even see me anymore
The walls cave in
As I collapse on the floor.
Being awake shouldn’t take any effort
Or leave me with laboured breathing.

Can you just get me that diamond already?
At least then I’ll know we’re in something steady.
Not that I’d ever want to commit to you
But good days don’t come anymore
And I’d like to drown in screaming.