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liz Nov 2014
I just want to come home
to you clean.

One day your the one I need,
loving and the wall that holds me up.
The next day your a disappointment,
burning me with all that you can't be.

You used to be so good to me.
To everyone.

You shut down to alcohol
and drugs.
So you hid away.

You're a presence I can barely see.
A ghost when your in front of me,
a killer of the mind when your behind your walls.

Your battle has turned the house into a war.
Every single one of us on a different side.
I've been fighting for too long now.

We are waiting for your white flags,
to surrender to your own madness.

Until then, I have to wait here until you realize.
That your supposed to fight.
For me.
For your family.
For this life.

Or I can run.
Live the life I was meant to live
instead of wasting my time waiting
for your white flags.
liz Nov 2014
I wasn't afraid of you, you know.
You had your team and your burning stares,
but I wasn't afraid.
Little did you know, I had my arrows pointed at you.
We all had the same passion-
In the beginning that is.
We all wanted something out of this experience.
But most importantly,
we all wanted to be on top.
So we started climbing the
cold, ragged, stormy mountain
to see who could make it to the there.
I was behind in the beginning,
invisible from their distance above.
A tiny ant that could be stomped upon,
an inconvenience.
But in the distance below,
through the evergreen trees
and the cold rustling wind,
I had my arrows pointed at you.
I started gaining up seed,
respect,
gratitude,
confidence.
I saw the looks of your faces as I was passing by you.
The defeat.
Looking into the those eyes,
I still had my arrows pointed at you.
And I reached the top.
With callused feet and sore muscles.
With an aching heart and an uneven chest.
I looked down below and then saw your laughs.
Your smiles.
I heard your words.
You had your fingers pointed to me.
They were now my demons,
haunting me in the light.
The were now scars on my heart,
locking myself further and further away.
But in the night and in the light of day,
I had my arrows pointed to you.
I’m dancing on this mountain,
at least for right now.
Because I’m at the top,
so why not enjoy it.
But my arrows are still like a live wire
between my fingers
pointed at you.
I saw you today.
I tried to look away,
to keep you and your heartless soul
in a distant memory stored away
like a forgotten childhood trait.
But you swerved your path and fell right into mine.
Intentionally.
You want me to be afraid.
You want me to regret the decisions I made.
You want me to be weak.
But darling,
you've got it all wrong.
Because when success seeps through my veins
and you’ll be forced to hear my name
every day- to you, like nails on a chalkboard-
remember this.
That I was never afraid.
I made the right decisions.
I was never weak.
Because my arrows were always pointed at you.
And now the fingers of life are the ones
that are letting these arrows target straight to your heart.
And like always,
I’ll always be at the top of that mountain with
With callused feet and sore muscles.
With an aching heart and an uneven chest.
But this time you won’t be laughing and smiling
and saying false words about me.
You’ll be afraid
because I’ll have my dignity
and my team of burning stares
with our arrows pointed at you
liz Nov 2014
"If you have a goal without a plan, then it's just a goal. Without a plan... you will have nothing."

Maybe if I just sit here,
everything will fall together.
The places I'm meant to travel to
will somehow find its way to me.

Or those jobs or colleges I'm supposed to apply to,
will come to me without a call.

Maybe if I just sit here,
people will fall in love with me.
I will meet the one and
we will fight and argue but will love
eachother unconditionally.

Or maybe the rain will suddenly
be a friend to swim with
instead of drowning me,
burning me to nothing.

Maybe if I just sit here,
I'll suddenly understand how to live.
Without procrastination or avoidance.
I'll live with Fire and love and
shake the world with my touch.

But it won't happen and that's the worst part of it all.
Life doesn't wait for you
and it doesn't care if you can catch up.
Sometimes your left walking
with chains wrapped around your ankles
and a rope dipped in acid around your neck.
But the thing is,
You need to keep going.

As *painful
as it might be
to lift up your leg that one last time
over the most pathetic obstacle there is,
just do it.
Because as much as that pain
will reverberate down your spine,
shackling your very floorboards...
It will surprisingly be worth it in the end.
liz Oct 2014
Only so little answers
To the millions of questions
That we have running through our minds

I have all the time in the world
But no time to accomplish much of anything

I find that I'm running in circles and I always find myself back to the beginning
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