Who knows why

Who knows why
He chose her
Who knows why
She wants him

Maybe its because
When she looks in the mirror
She isnt afraid
of what she sees

Maybe its because
She needs to feel needed
By someone shes above
Because she feels so low

Maybe its because
I'm too scared
To feel self respect
When my back has boot prints

Who knows why
It only hurts
When the hot water washes
Over me at 1AM

Who knows why
I can feel everything
so much that
I dont even care

i like pop music
some oldies too
i dont like Mudhoney
but you do

I like rivers
I like the ground
you get thrills
im safe and sound

I like Disney
I like Pixar
You like pulp fiction
its just who we are

im not obscure
ive tried to be
its not who i am
its not who ill be

this isnt an attack
just recognition
of who i am
of what im missing

im trying to fit in
but thats not what im about
i dont get along
with the out crowd

i dont get cult movies
or grungy rock bands
it doesnt make me
less than i am

i like classic poets
but moderns good too
but i dont get those poets
you watch on youtube

maybe i thought
i could learn or understand
but im beginning to see
thats just not who i am

this is a message
or maybe just a thought
i had to say it
im all i got

ill still try to watch your movies
ill listen to your bands
ill try to get it
ill try to understand

i dont always get you
but boy do i try
i guess im just tired
of trying to lie

And i wonder
If she think
How i
Used to.

I wonder
If shes afraid
Of losing
You

But why would a rose
Be scared of a lily.

Why would the mind
Behave so silly.

Why would she be afraid
Shes so confident

Maybe thats the difference
She knows who she is.

Im still
Just afraid
And unsure.

You used to
Be like that.
What happened.
Dont go back

Im glad youre happy
But if youre not
Im here

Ill sleep with my phone
Right beside my head
Incase you get sad
At 2 AM

Im here

I keep trying to write
About us mostly
But i cannot
Fathom words
To tell about
This feeling in my chest
And this wrenching of my gut
And how the idea of
This nausea
Is so good
And i cannot
Write into life
How my skin is bursting
When i read your name
Or when i see you
And feel you
And how everything
Every being
Every particle
Every small microscopic
Atomic
Piece of me
Is whispering
Your name

Sunday morning
Let the Hallelujahs
Come
And let my
Grandma
Tell me
Im a sinner
And im lost
As if
I
Dont
Already
Know

Tackles and heartache
Concessions and new take
These nights have
Become a race
For who can cry
The fastest
A contest
Where everyone
Loses
Life doesnt know winners
Life doesnt know victory
Because in the end
Death will beat
Us all

Dark skies
Eventually
Shine.  

Lakes
Eventually
Dry

But can our hearts
Eventually
Tie with time