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I just want you
to be happy
but sometimes
and selfishly
I want to be
your happiness

But
'happiness is a choice'
you say
and you didn't choose me

I clung onto the idea
since you made me happy
it would be the same for you

What is happiness now?
where has it gone to?
In time, society has robbed us
the real meaning of happiness

Go on your own way
and pursue your happiness
for your smile, is my smile
your laugh, is my laugh

and I'll be happy
when you find your happiness
because I love you
always have, always will
summer nights
fairy lights
women rights
skinny tights
we ended up with
lovers' fights

plain as day
you took away
a sunshine ray
left me with
no words to say

feelings fade
a girl's parade
to hold her head high
and hide the mess you made
If your life is anything like mine college is going to be the worst three years of your life
Its day one now so pay attention you won’t believe how everything falls into place
Everything dances outside of your hands you have no control here
Pay no mind to the girl who held the door open for you
As you first step foot into this place that you can’t wash out from under your skin
If your life is anything like mine she is not important just yet
But don’t worry she’ll break your heart later
You have two classes on Wednesday and you will suffer through every minute of the first
You aren’t used to so many people talking so loud in such a confined space
But its only temporary well at least thats what you tell yourself
There is just enough time to get dinner before your second class starts
Somehow this leads to the classroom number changing last minute
You’re late one of the last to arrive at least there is an open seat in the back
Watch out for the broken girl sitting in the second to last row on the right
Aisle seat so she can get out and run when things get bad
If your life is anything like mine you will fall for her
I’m so sorry there is nothing you can do but wait and suffer as she digs a hole in your heart
She is the first friend you’ll make here and she will be the first to toss you aside
Just as broken as she was when you found her
You don’t know if you’ll ever see her again and you panic as the semester comes to a close
But she breaks you so easily and the last day of classes you spill everything
She doesn’t know what to say and the two of you hang barely gripping each other
This lasts for a year and a half until she finally chooses the words that tear the veins out of your arms
But if your life is anything like mine you still see her all the time
And things only seem to change for her
You barely pull yourself through the semester and everyone knows it
That smile you fake isn’t nearly bright enough to cover the bruise
Now remember that girl who held the door for you on your first day of school
If your life is anything like mine she will pine for your attention and I don’t know why
But you’re so broken now and you fall for it
Its so hard to see clearly when theres blood pouring from your mouth
And your lungs are covered in tiny pieces of her name
Now you’ll fall for her in two parking lots trying to find stars in the cloudy sky
And you will affectionately call her Bambi when she stumbles like a wave out of place in the sea
Everything is perfect for three days and I hope you savor every second
Because every bit of strength you can find now is from what you can recall of her
It doesn’t matter what you do she will push you away with tears in her eyes
The problem is she is two people in one
You weren’t her painkiller like you were afraid you would be she was yours
She will be gone within the week but you won’t find out why for another year
Because she never bothered to tell you that she prefers girls
If your life is anything like mine I don’t want you to read this
I don’t want you to know how broken you’ll feel
And I don’t want to tell you that things haven’t really gotten any better
But if you’re anything like me you can push on another year and a half at least
Things still might change but I can’t promise they do
I haven’t been that far yet
*~W.C.
The depletion of a beating heart, unimpeded to even start.
Down where the feelings concedes from the beginning.
Misleading as you succeed through the indubitable scheming.

Repeating; repeating; repeating -

The moments of despair
from first lips touch.
A taste of tongues,
the caress of skin.
Fighting words
till fists occurred.

The end draws nearer...
Every breath a guttural sound.
Elegant fingers of death,
wrapping around a pale neck.
(The bringer of demise.)
Here and now.

I don't understand how,
such a creature has come now,
at such a perfect interval,  
of space and time.
but
If I let you by,
I'm bound to lose my mind.

...
..
.
I hear them
Each day that passes
Gentle words from which there is no source
In each direction they come
Some of them joyous
Some of them hateful
Some of them scream
Few of them ever sing

I know few of the sounds
As the kind words of family and friend
Taken too soon
I hear them each day
I carry a part of them with me each day
I always am reminded of the two that pushed me furthest

The first an old man
Who I knew as a father
Took me in as a son
Only to be taken by his illness
When it got to be too strong
He was the only person I felt pushed me forward
As everyone else judged my mind

The second an young girl
Just a year behind me
We only spoke a few times
Through masked medium
Her life taken in bullets and blood
By her mother's side
Just before the man that hurt them both
Took his own life

I hear them both
I see them in my dreams
They push me forward
To help others in any way I can
I hope that soon, and with their help
I can bring the songs of the voices in my head
To The Voice
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping—rapping at my chamber door.
“’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
        Only this and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
        Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
“’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door—
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
    This it is and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping—tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you”—here I opened wide the door:—
      Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering,
  fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore!”
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”
      Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon I heard again a tapping, somewhat louder than before.
“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—
Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore;—
    ’Tis the wind and nothing more.”

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he: not an instant stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—
    Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no
  craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore—
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”
      Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door—
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
      With such name as “Nevermore.”

But the Raven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—
Till I scarcely more than muttered, “Other friends have flown before—
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.”
      Then the bird said, “Nevermore.”

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—
Till the dirges of his Hope the melancholy burden bore
    Of ‘Never—nevermore.’”

But the Raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and
  door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore—
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
    Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my *****’s core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,
      She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath
  sent thee
Respite—respite aad nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!”
      Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!”
    Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”
      Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked,
  upstarting—
“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”
    Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
    Shall be lifted—nevermore!
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