I once wanted to be a doctor.
A surgeon, to be exact.
Blood never bothered me,
and I wanted to save people.
But, you see, I couldn't be that.
Surgery requires precision,
And my hands shake
when I need them to be still.

I wanted to save lives,
To heal the sick,
To revive the dying.
I thought I could be
that godlike figure,
Defying death and
Stealing its victims.

But I cannot,
Simply because my hands shake
With the weight of the past.

Positive i possess the prowess to articulate a piece..
but will it bring me piece?
More probable that impossible is possible so it seems..
so my daily writing tends to cease.

I'm no writer, I just vent all my problems on this keyboard..
truthfully most of the times i erase it, because i need more...
Time to heal, mostly these paragraphs bring me sorrow..
While most of the writers i meet cant wait to write tomorrow..

I guess my sentiments differ,
If I'm not stuck at home venting, im a bartender tipper,
Far from pretender my reality came quicker,
So now i'm stuck with this liquor,

life is precious though, my mother told me that one cloudy morning..
and that was back when i was younger, hunger thoughts were barely forming.

So eventually,
These so called poems might be of service..
maybe one day i'll be better off and reminded of my curses..

And..
the people on the block of that writer will mumble..
And they'll call me humble,
They'll call me humble..
They'll know that standing is a choice, what's a tumble?

I'm positive i possess the prowess to write a piece,
And truthfully I hope in doing so I'm bringing peace.



-afj

Anytime you feel lonely
Beckon for me to come into your arms
Catch hold of my hand in the shadows, in the back row
Don't let go.
Every day is a new day
Feeling good
Good feeling
Happy... Almost.
I* don't want you to leave as well
Just stay, please...
Keep your fingers crossed
Love the way that your dark eyes shine so brightly
My heart races in your presence
No good can come from this
Only few understand.
Please hold on for a little longer
Quit with the teasing already
Ridiculous, our circumstances...
Slow down, I want to know more
Tell me your deepest secrets
Under the light of the moon.
Velvet blankets, picnic baskets
What's next?
Xoxo, your biggest fan
You never did understand my jokes
Zzzzzz, goodnight, day dreamer...
Now I know my ABCs,
Next time won't you comfort me?

Who decides what we deserve?
Did he deserve her?
Did she deserve you?
Did I deserve that?
What do I deserve?
because I don't think
anyone deserves to
feel afraid every day.
It isn't fair that one person
gets to intimidate and hurt us.

I'm trying so hard to
keep my head above water.
Everything is closing in
and the darkness is settling.
The very process of drowning
makes it harder and harder
not to drown.
He wrapped his hand
around my ankle
and told me that he would
never go down alone.

You don't have to be a tornado
To change the world wherever you go.

You don't have to be a thunderstorm
To be heard in this noisy world.  

You don't have to be a lightning bolt
To light the world and make it glow.  

Power doesn't have to be extreme,
And being gentle isn't being weak.
The Grand Canyon wasn't formed
By an explosion, but by a stream.

So we beat on, boats against the current,
     borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I hope she is a fool, a beautiful little fool.
Absolutely real, pages and everything.
The loneliest moment in someone's life is when
       they are watching their world fall apart
       and all they can do it stare blankly.
And I sat there brooding in the old and unknown world.
You can't repeat the past.
You can't repeat the past? Of course you can.
They're a rotten crowd, I stated,
         You're worth more than the whole **** lot of them.
When you feel like criticizing, remember not everyone
          has had the advantages you've had.
I thought of Gatsby's wonder.
So we beat on, boats against the current,
          borne back ceaselessly into the past.

They leave a bad taste,
Bitter on the tongue;
The words I never said.

They fluttered around,
Desperate to escape,
But I swallowed them whole.

I love you,
I hate you,
Please don't go.

I swallowed them,
but it sickened me
to keep them contained.