I want someone to comfort me.
But i want to drive people away.
I want someone to hug me and tell me everything is going to be fine.
But I hate it when someone does it to me.
I always said to myself,"pull your **** together ****"
I end up opening my own scars.
Its me,its my fault.
I ruin everything.
Everything fragile,I broke.
Never again will it be the same.
I hate myself for craving for the attention not necessary.
Also,i hate myself for never being good enough.
I know i don't have to be.
But things are easier said than done.
Its always been me who gets to give the last part of my heart.
But never gets to taste what it is to be truly happy.
People are so loved.
I stand isolated in that very corner.
Looking at that very moment.
Seeing the spark,
the light
the ignited passion to love someone.
Who come?
I look everywhere to find my happiness
But I know it isn't anywhere
Its within me.
Somewhere waiting to be triggered.
What if no one comes?
No one ignites me.
Will I ever?
I'm too tired to do anything.
I want to disappear.
No one won't notice.
I know I am loved.
I forget.
I get the feeling that I ruin stuff so precious
I'm not and never will be good enough.

The world is vast.Maybe too vast.
He went there,she went here.
I couldn't tell where each one was going.
I wasn't sure of the spark that ignited their eyes.
I wasn't sure where it came from,
And how it happened.
It just suddenly did.
You held me in your hands like you meant something
I got trapped,and was casted with the unbreakable spell.
And that was to ever fall in love
You looked oh so ever charming from afar.
Standing and even doing nothing.
Catching my eye every **** time.
I couldn't help but take a peek in the most casual way I can.
It isn't anything special for you maybe,
But it means the world to me.
But then again,I wake up to the reality
That it isn't me.

Cuddle me with your warm embrace
And out of the blue,tell me you love me.
Ignite me with your hopeful eyes,
Let me explode like the fireworks--oh so wonderful and beautiful
I never thought the feeling would linger
And wrap on me like the hands willing to hold on to forever.

Do not run from the sun, the bluebird said,
Your feet will unravel, leaving nothing but thread.

Then lend me your wings , she said in reply,
And we'll fly to a place where the shadows don't lie.

You constantly make it impossible for us to talk.
I want to wind myself around your body.
Feeling your soft skin placed ever so delicately against mine.

I want to constantly hold your hand.
Entwining our fingers ever so vividly.
Holding your hand tightly so you don't blow away into the sky.

I want to write your name across the sky with clouds.
Because for now, for recently,
you are all the clouds in my sky.

It is not the mere thought of you that entrances me.
It is the way you smile at the simplest things.
It's the way you entangle our bodies from behind.
It's the way I feel your hot breath sharp against the back of my neck when I'm tangled in your arms like the numb, depressed human being that I am.
To put it simply, it's the way you exist.

You are ever so endearing to me, and I will constantly tell you.
No matter how often you constantly tell me to leave.

I climb the tree way up the sky
I see everything way way below
I feel the wind against my skin
The feeling was very full of serenity
As the memories slowly but vividly flash before my eyes
Oh how will I sleep later tonight?
I beg them to stop
But it won't
I sit still,Awaiting for the silence that never came.
Then I see myself standing on the other side of the field.
So I slowly creep to it and chase it.
But I can't.Everytime I get near it,
It shifts to another place.
Oh why do you play these illusions?
I'm out of my boundaries,
I'm loosing my mind
Let me rest please.
I want to feel the serenity of my life again
Please bring it back to me.
I'm begging you.
Please.