She used to have knots
like ties they had
intertwined
like vines
no wind could separate.

But today
she cut her hair

along with all
dead promises
of
holding on

It is still a wonder
how each of its spines
keeps her alive.
Like how she holds on still
despite all adversaries
she had to fight
within her roots.

And with that
I came to ask...

Have you seen her bloom?

If you did,
you might have seen
the merit...

She's more than
a dozen roses' worth.

Feel the grief
when something ends.
For that
you were entitled
to call closure between
you and memories.

But know that

wildflowers
still bloom...

Sometimes,
he stands like a mountain
So tall.
So proud,
that I cannot even reach
a glimpse of him

And then
there are those
times
when I feel
like a floating boat
waiting for him to
come up from his
deepest crest.

Either way,
I prefer holding
his hand

For in both corners
he is in...

There's a reason
why coach calls for time outs

It's either
he cares for his players
or he was bothered by the numbers.

Either way,
I prefer watching the ball freed.

You poured him hope
while he was too busy
spilling love
to someone
you could never be.

And maybe
that's the reason why
you both feel empty.

How heavy
is it to carry
all the
hidden feelings
inside your ribcage?

How painful is it
to breathe
with a heart stabbed?

How arduous
does it seem
to go on
with the
unspoken truth?

You see it coming
without knowing when
and from nowhere you knew
you’d shake your hand
with death

the thing is
you’d never be
prepared
nor be enough
to calm

when waves
began to swallow
your boat,

you’d be gone
in the shore
of grief.

It's a total ache
for being so near
to someone
you wanted to
hug,
but not
being able to.

Like giving
comfort to an
injured butterfly
while healing
your own wings.

Or being the light
in someone's darkest path
while melting deep inside.

Either way,
you still choose
to give.
Even without receiving.
To love.
Even without
being loved back.

What else can you do?
You can't be greedy enough
to ask for more than
what you can give...

you can only
be grateful enough
for things
you can only get.

I befriended Cupid
in hopes that
he'd be kind enough
to choose
who's best for me.

But one day
I woke up
with an arrow
on my frozen heart.

His name written
on the wall

with a post it
that says...

"We can't fall
for someone
we became friends with."

"It's just a pinch,
you soon won't feel,"

says the brain.

"It's just a pinch,
I'd soon get used to it,"

says the one that
beats
and is
beaten.

There's an ache in every ending,
regardless of how happy or tragic it is.

It's like an aftertaste next to the last sip of your fav'rite coffee,

or that twitch of pinch you feel when a familiar song plays from nowhere, reminding you of someone you once used to sing it with.

It's the aftermath brought by a long day full of thunderstorms,

the chills that linger after you've finished a novel writen by an unknown author,

the way you fail to move for holding back your tears the moment the words "THE END" rolled up on screen.

...you feel so filled, yet empty.

there is still something..
behind each memory we once shared
-those pieces of precious moments
no one could ever steal from us
not even the person
you have chosen
over me

for in there,
she can’t take you away;
you will always be mine...

even just in there.

was laughing
flying in clouds
passing the rainbows
as you bring
all colours
my eyes have
never seen

but tonight...

I'm beginning
to fear the feels.

for you might
have just showed up

to warn and give me
storm surges.

I've been carrying
this book
from a past.

Had read it
tons of times
and in every chapter
was caught off guard
by an unfamiliar face

How could
an old dusty book
be anew each time
I go back
to where I
last pronounced
its line?

And everytime
I reach its end
I'm still wondered...

I'm a shattered soul
once more.

My eyes are now dried
and I need to fetch some tears
to quench my thirst.
But the last thing I'll do
is to give my heart away
again
to you.

Just choose your card
and see what
comes next

for we could always
end up between the two:

Felicity
or
Misery

Who knows?

Appear, disappear
one heart,one soul
one soul, one heart
disappeared

appeared.

You might never notice,
but I see all your monsters.
I feel your pain
as I chase them all away.

Remember when we used
to walk our way home?

I always kept my phase
slower than yours.

So that
when time comes
and we wouldn't have
any choice
but to part ways,

it wouldn't be that painful
to watch your back

fades.

"What time is it?"
says the busy man.
"Eight in evening, sir."
says an employee on another OT day.

"What time was it?"
says the busy woman.
"It was at seven thirty-six last night."
says her mother's doctor.

"What time will they be home?"
says the son in his PJs,
waiting from the windows...

He who wants
to be selfish
has not sinned
until
he became
so greedy
to swallow
more than
what
he can put
on his spoon.

We cannot carry all the burdens from our painful past.
We can only leave it there, burried underneath the roots of memories we had for once.
Make some baby steps for now.
You'll be surprised of how you'd be able to make giant ones once you've learned how let it all go.

oh how lovely
to an ear
this word was!

Until people
became frightened
to hear it once.

I wrote your name on a sticky note
along with the words
"I need to forget!!!"

so I won't forget
that I need to forget.

Everything's still vivid to me
like a pristine water in a flowing river,
and just how each drop kissed all shades of rocks beneath.

There was silence all over the place
even the sea hummed the calmest hymn
and wind whispered through sun's ear
who peeked a smile so bright, so warm.

The horizon seemed so perfect
like a flawless line drawn on a clean canvas
painted with colours we see at dusk.

All minds knew it was just an ordinary day
that no soul hath realized
everything that then appeared
was already a silent warning.

Until stillness swallowed by waves
and calmness thorn by thunders
all waters flashed and passed
the shore in awe and reached the land.

I could still vividly remember...

how everything from a peaceful land
was eaten

by a silent hungry monster

created by the ones whom she once loved.

Is it too much
to long
for a piece of happiness

barely enough
to cover
the scars
people we once
treasured have
left us with?

which pains
the most...

him, forgetting
every untold
story of us,

or the other
way around.

The ambiance you left in your room
Your name carved
on a wooden cabinet

The smell of your perfume
in someone else's shirt

and that stupid song from
a neighbor's radio
you used to sing

The wilted flower
between the pages
of my old dusty journal

That
beautiful tragic love story
I'd never get over with...

she was too busy
sheltering a heart
that when it learnt
to flap its wings,
she was left

-a debris, empty
*****.

I'd keep on coming back
to that one same shore

in hopes to still
feel the prints we made
through sand

and a constant pray'r that
our Mighty sea
would sail you back to me

no matter how the wind
pulls us apart.