would you have apologized
would you have cared
i guess not
but i know there was a time
when i had your heart
when i felt you
when you where safety
but then you broke me
and i crashed through the seems
while you crushed me down
until i fell so far
that i became trapped

he will say it for the first time
not to your face
but through a phone screen
through a text message
while hes on vacation
that he of course couldnt take you on

when a boy says he loves you
for the first time
you will smile
because those words have never been said
with more meaning or passion

when a boy says he loves you
though it seems true its not
what those words really mean
is say it back to me
open your heart be raw to me
so i can easily break your fragile heart

when a boy says he loves you
it means to get ready for distance
for being pushed away
while he tries to keep you trapped

when a boy says he loves you
it is just a ploy
fluttering through his lips
like it means nothing to him
like it is but 3 words
meaningless
painfully easy for them

when a boy says he loves you
know he expects it in return
but dont give it to him
because remember
boys will be boys

the summer sun
beating down on September
running out the cold
making the heat
thats burning down on the turf field
radiate burning holes
in the soles of my feet

for me home has always
been a dream
something i visit when nights are cold
when the throb in my skull
wont leave me be
i visit this home idea
maybe its a cabin
cool with the breeze of a summers night
the crackle of fire
brightening the distance
like a beacon calling me to a place called
home

the sky seems grey
almost taunting me
bringing me down in its misty plumes
pushing me down
forcing me back into bed
forcing me to feel worthless
as memories crash against the walls of my mind
dragging me back down into my
seasonal depression

i want to wake up early
i want to run
i want to lose the  weight
that ive always wanted to
but then i lose the inspiration
so instead i starve
crying into binges
choking on purges
crashing between pain
and smiles
behind someone who cant stop eating
but wont let it stay there

secrets are meant to be kept
yet when i told you i was hurt
when i told you i was broken
you told the whole world
that my flaws
where slowly dragging me down
that i
was slowly deteriorating
that there
was no hope for my mind
that i would always
spiral into the fear into my broken head
and when i rose above it wall
you told the world
my flaws where faked