L: Poems

329 · Aug 2015

10w

L Aug 2015

10w

I'm glad I did not die before I met you

328 · Nov 2014

15w

L Nov 2014

15w

They say
you get
just what you
pay for,
but
what is this
love
worth?

A quick write

**
Leigh

328 · Dec 2014

20w

L Dec 2014

20w

Simply,
we are a rock
revolving around
a great ball of fire.
Say you'll
remember me
when it all
ends.

Nothing

**
Leigh

325 · Apr 2015

10w

L Apr 2015

10w

I'm not fragile,
so don't be afraid
to
break
me.

I still feel your hands on my hips and your lips on my ribs

**
Leigh

325 · May 2015

12w

L May 2015

12w

I'll sit back,
relax,
and watch you make a fool of yourself.

Good luck with that ****** up mess

**
Leigh

324 · Jan 2016

Seventeen

L Jan 2016

Seventeen

I wish I would have met you when I was seventeen,
before I seen the things that I seen,
before I learned to look behind the screen.
I think we could have had a good time.

Lake Street Dive
Not mine

Leigh

323 · Dec 2013

another opportunity wasted

L Dec 2013

another opportunity wasted

"One minute you're sad as hell, the next minute you're happy as a lark... I guess you get that from me."

Say it, daddy.
Bring it up.
SAY IT.

but he doesn't.
another opportunity wasted
because I was
too
afraid
to
say
it
too.

323 · Nov 2015

11/27

L Nov 2015

11/27

No one loves me.
I did.
I would've.
I could have loved you so easily if you'd have let me.
But you kept yourself so closed off.
Why?
Why did y--
Except you. You do... I know you did. I'm sorry I never...
What?
How did you..?
I never told you...
You nev--
I'm sorry I didn't let you.

**
Leigh

323 · Feb 2015

Suicide Revisited

L Feb 2015

Suicide Revisited

I don't want to cause that kind of pain
or leave the people I love
waiting for answers that
they're never going to understand

**
Leigh

322 · Sep 2015

BJF

L Sep 2015

BJF

At our beginning, I told myself that I wouldn't need you.
That I could make it through the day without your hand in mine.
That I could sleep without hearing your breath.
That I could wake again without my lips pressing against yours.
But here I am, five months in, needing you like oxygen.

And I love every minute we have together

**
Leigh

321 · Dec 2013

to walk or to run?

L Dec 2013

to walk or to run?

yesterday I visited the sea.
where I should have found calm,
I found panic in my mind.
thoughts began to spin...

What if I just walked in?

What if I just ran in?

What if I never came back from the sea?

Would anyone even miss me?

my God, the thoughts could have pulled me under the waves themselves.

I sink again.

I'm not suicidal, I swear.

321 · Feb 2014

Progress (10w)

L Feb 2014

Progress (10w)

I am no longer afraid to say "I love you."

And it feels great.

320 · Mar 2014

Internal Damage

L Mar 2014

Internal Damage

"You can't see my scars. They aren't on my body."*

But maybe you can hear them --
In the words I say, or quite often, don't say.

Or maybe you can catch a glimpse --
In the looks I repress, or quite often, don't repress.

...I'm sorry I can't let you in.
Don't take it personally.
I rarely let anyone in far enough to *see.

The scars aren't completely healed.
They're too painful, too deep.

Why rip the scabs off?
If I do, they may bleed forever.

320 · Jul 2015

6/1

L Jul 2015

6/1

Unruly curls
Bright laughs
Too cold kisses
Ice cream stains
Secret smiles
Moonlit eyelashes
Lingering lips
Soaring hearts

This July will be different

**
Leigh

319 · Jan 2016

B

L Jan 2016

B

Sometimes I call you my angel.
It just slips out in moments of passion and love.
I know you don't really like it, but B, that's what you are.
If you hadn't entered my life the moment that you did, I would be dead.
I know it - without a doubt.
In February of 2015, you would've been attending the funeral of your temporary chemistry lab partner.
"You came along and you saved me."
You had no idea what I was going through.
I hadn't even told you the worst parts.
But you were there for me for months.
You kept me going.
You were the coffee I should've been drinking.
---
Because of you, I'm finally comfortable in my own skin.
I know who I am and I am because of you.
You grabbed my hand and led me through the darkness of a bad breakup, bouts of depression, and midnight panic attacks.
You had the uncanny ability to know when I was slipping.
My angel, my guardian angel.
---
I've spent the last ten months thanking you
- with my lips, with my hands, with my writings -
but nothing will ever be enough.
I love you endlessly.
I owe you everything.

Hope I did this right

Leigh

#makeitbetterchallenge

319 · May 2015

Untitled

L May 2015

Untitled

I'll spend the night ripping up bedsheets and punching holes in the walls -
maybe then the pain will subside

319 · May 2015

6w

L May 2015

6w

Stay with me
Let's just be

318 · Nov 2013

because of you

L Nov 2013

because of you

a fleeting smile upon your face
is enough to light up the night

a deep chuckle in your throat
is enough to fill the quietest room

a chaste kiss from your lips
is enough to expand my love

317 · May 2015

Untitled

L May 2015

Untitled

I never meant to cause you so much pain. I miss you. Please look at me.

317 · Feb 2016

Better Than

L Feb 2016

Better Than

I could spend ages reading the news
I could spend days, singing the blues
But I turn up the tv light
Give up without a fight
Better than pretending to know what's wrong and what's right

I could spend ages asking myself why
There's a million ways that I could say goodbye
But I turn down the lights
Come on baby come inside
Better then being some fool's bride
Better than pretending to know what's wrong and what's right

Lake Street Dive

Not mine

Leigh

316 · Mar 2014

10w

L Mar 2014

10w

You look like a poem that I would read forever.

316 · May 2015

Untitled

L May 2015

Untitled

I wish you had the courage

316 · Mar 2015

18w

L Mar 2015

18w

It's shocking
how quickly you
latched onto me
how reluctant
you are to
let the
slightest bit
go.

**
Leigh

316 · May 2015

Cries

L May 2015

Cries

Those cries will be with me for the rest of my life -- never resting, never fading, never ceasing their call to join them.

**
Leigh

316 · May 2015

15w

L May 2015

15w

I'll watch the blood slip down the drain
and not a tear will be shed

**
Leigh

314 · May 2015

10w

L May 2015

10w

I am a man of many tricks,
woman of deception.

I honestly don't know

**
Leigh

314 · Jan 2014

without the music

L Jan 2014

without the music

I'd be 6 feet under

heart in my throat
body in the earth
spirit in the sky
soul in the melody...
produced by my very hands
accidentally?
maybe
on purpose?
completely

314 · Aug 2015

10w

L Aug 2015

10w

Life is an exile, a journey to a nonexsistent home

EC

**
Leigh

313 · Nov 2015

Everything to Everyone

L Nov 2015

Everything to Everyone

You put yourself in stupid places
Yes, I think you know it's true
Situations where it's easy to look down on you
I think you like to be the victim
I think you like to be in pain
I think you make yourself a victim
Almost every single day

You say they taught you how to read and write
They taught you how to count
I say they taught you how to buy and sell
Your own body by the pound
I think you like to be their simple toy
I think you love to play the clown
I think you are blind to the fact
That the hand you hold
Is the hand that holds you down

Verses from Everclear's "Everything to Everyone"

312 · Mar 2015

Untitled

L Mar 2015

Untitled

I should be so lucky to die a painless death

311 · Nov 2014

A Year's Time

L Nov 2014

A Year's Time

Some say that a year is a short period of time
and that it practically flies by.
But when you think about,
I mean really think about it,
so much happens in a year.
You have so much time...
365 days to wake up, look at your scars, and say "Thank God I'm alive".
52 weeks (plus one day) to work on getting a promotion at work.
8,765 hours to get over that boy from chemistry class.
526,000 minutes to watch your baby girl grow up.
31.6 million seconds to breathe in and breathe out.
One year to live your life.
Isn't it amazing?
Isn't it quick?

I've taken a step back and looked at how my life has changed in the past year (or rather, ten months).

**
Leigh

310 · May 2015

12w

L May 2015

12w

I can still taste your love on the corners of my mouth

**
Leigh

309 · Nov 2015

6w

L Nov 2015

6w

Love's not only blind but deaf

309 · Dec 2015

20w

L Dec 2015

20w

You were always worried about not being enough.
Did it ever occur to you that maybe you were too much?

And so it seems

**
Leigh

309 · Dec 2013

or am I?

L Dec 2013

or am I?

sometimes, I think I'm rather obvious.
all it's takes is someone with open eyes.

309 · May 2015

18w

L May 2015

18w

I can feel each of your ribs
and in between them
tears unshed
pain unspoken
love unrequited

**
Leigh

308 · Sep 2015

10w

L Sep 2015

10w

And when these words are no longer enough, hold on.

Looking up

**
Leigh

308 · Oct 2014

20w

L Oct 2014

20w

I have chased highs
down the shafts of
hundreds of needles,
but none compare to the
feeling your love brings.

Inspired by a certain needle wielding consulting detective.

For R.

**
Leigh

308 · May 2015

5/5

L May 2015

5/5

In the beginning, a glass is empty.
Just a hollow cylinder that's patiently waiting.
It would then be filled with a liquid.
This liquid, whatever it may be, would find itself
   permeating the glass -- adjusting to its surroundings.
Life.
It's all about your attitude.
Is the glass half full or half empty?
Do you choose to see life in full daylight
   or through the lens of your sunshades?
Will you simply adjust to your surroundings
   or will you boldly choose to change them?
It's all on you, really.
So tell me...
Is your glass half full or half empty?

A writing prompt for May 5
"Your life: Is the glass half full or half empty?

Write one for yourselves and comment so I can read it :)

**
Leigh

307 · Dec 2015

You

L Dec 2015

You

A child stuck in a rotting body.
A life built on manipulation and ***. An addict of lust.
An attention-starved fool.

307 · Oct 2015

Fools

L Oct 2015

Fools

Did we unknowingly search for each other in the darkest hours?
You, the sun - I, the moon.
They, the opaque night between.
We were hidden.
But finally, the light shone through.
Us, a pair -- a motley two, a mismatched pair of fools.
Is it fate that strings these calico hearts together?
A Higher Power with a guiding hand?
Or is it we who create our own destiny?
Did you find me...
or did I find you?

Either way, I'm glad we've been discovered

**
Leigh

307 · Jun 2015

Should Have Known Better

L Jun 2015

Should Have Known Better

I should have known better
To see what I could see
My black shroud
Holding down my feelings
A pillar for my enemies

I should have wrote a letter
And grieve what I happen to grieve
My black shroud
I never trust my feelings
I waited for the remedy

...

I’m light as a feather
I’m bright as the Oregon breeze
My black shroud
Frightened by my feelings
I only wanna be a relief

Sufjan Stevens

Bits and pieces

**
Leigh

307 · Apr 2015

15w

L Apr 2015

15w

Lust moves quick, winding its way through your body like a tornado in the plains.

Can't say I'm not a tease

**
Leigh

307 · Feb 2016

TH

L Feb 2016

TH

"I look into your eyes and I see me. I see the person I used to be. I see the emptiness, the hurt. I know that hurt better than anyone."

Leigh

305 · Nov 2015

Tumor

L Nov 2015

Tumor

For so long, I wasn't angry... But now?
Now I understand that what we had was unhealthy.
Instead of making me better, you were making me ill.
It was an disease, a cancer that I couldn't rid myself of.
You were a tumor of the heart.
No amount of chemotherapy could diminish your size.
So I'm left with this aching pain in the center of my chest.
Extract it, burn it, **** it please.
**I just want you gone.

Leigh

305 · Jan 2016

12w

L Jan 2016

12w

What's it like to be so small?
So lowly and so small?

You'd know better than anyone

Inspired by my favorite lines from "Midsummer Night's Dream"

"How low am I, thou painted maypole?
Speak.
How low am I?
I am not yet so low
But that my nails can reach unto thine eyes."

Leigh

304 · May 2015

Mine

L May 2015

Mine

Exposed and vulnerable
Yet you didn't move
You hardly breathed
God, you're arresting
I shifted, unsure
It means beautiful
A kiss on my jutting hip bone
Stunning
Another on the scar below my ribs
Breathtaking
Turned, but not too roughly
A trail down my lacerated spine
*Mine

Yours

a dream

**
Leigh

304 · Dec 2015

12/18

L Dec 2015

12/18

On days where I find breathing difficult, I come to you and you push oxygen through my withering body. Who am I to want more from the person that gives me everything?

"You need more? Take more. I want to give you everything that she took from you." -From my favorite film

How I love you...

**
Leigh

303 · Jun 2015

Sleep

L Jun 2015

Sleep

Don't say that you're in love with me
I can't handle that just yet
I know that you're tired
You only say it in your exhaustion
But don't mean it
Please don't mean it
I'm cruel and I hurt and I sting
So don't say you're in love with me
Because when morning comes
You won't be

Sleep now, sweetness
Your mind is playing tricks on you

**
Leigh

303 · Apr 2015

Untitled

L Apr 2015

Untitled

Try to please too much and you'll lose who you really are