L: Poems

627 · Mar 2015

12w

L Mar 2015

12w

I don't want anymore heartbreak --
I'm tired of the sound it makes.

**
Leigh

624 · Aug 2015

The End

L Aug 2015

The End

It was like a marriage, really.
Lennon and McCartney.
Holmes and Watson.
I can't explain it any better than that.
All of our free time was spent with each other.
We shared so much -- fears, hopes, dreams, desires.
We were a unit and together, we moved.
A single beating heart.
But like all good things, it had to end.
The light of love was gone.
I didn't trust her.
I was no longer in love.
I was lonely in a relationship made of two.
Though not entirely my fault, I take the blame.
To save her any potential guilt, I will continue taking the blame.

"Here, though the world explode, these two survive,
And it is always eighteen ninety-five."

For SH, who was always JW but would never admit it.

**
Leigh

622 · Nov 2013

afternoon conversation

L Nov 2013

afternoon conversation

"Maybe I'm unloveable. Is that it? Am I unloveable, Leigh?"

silly boy.
silly, beautiful boy.
you could never be unloveable.
I love you.
I love you so much.
I'd scream it from the peak of the highest mountain if I could reach it.
But you don't know that.

"It isn't you, bud. It's just that girls don't see how great you are."

A coward's answer, that.
Whoever thought that the sometimes brutally honest girl would be afraid to say
"I love you"?
I
love
*you

619 · Jan 2014

down the hill

L Jan 2014

down the hill

normally, I don't bruise easily.
any kind of put-down or insult just
r
   o
      l
         l
            s
off.
yet today,
I'm black and blue.

your words hit home, this morning.
usually, they don't mean ****.
so what's going on?
why have I let these walls down?

can't even let my own family in.

615 · Apr 2014

Heaven-Hell 2

L Apr 2014

Heaven-Hell 2

"Homosexuality is a sin."
Why?
Why?!
To love is to sin?
"God so loved the world that..."
No.
Why can God love yet we cannot?
It's the same, is it not?
A man loves a man.
A woman loves a woman.
Isn't that the same love that binds a "holy" marriage, man with woman?
Isn't that the same love that binds the covenants, between God and Man?
If this God is just, does He not love all?
According to the Church, He loves those who don't even believe in His holy name.
Does God love the man who not only loves Him, but also loves another man?
Does He still love then?

No idea why I'm still thinking about this...
Hope all that enjoyed the first part enjoy the second.

**
Leigh

612 · Mar 2016

Zzz...

L Mar 2016

Zzz...

Rumpled grey sheets
Slow sleepy smiles
Breath warm from dreaming
Pillows cradling thoughts
Fingers intertwined with stars
Soft lips pressed against dry
Say we'll never have to leave this place
This heaven we've found in each other's arms

Afternoon's spent in your embrace
There's no place I'd rather be

For my angel, my saving grace

Leigh

609 · Dec 2015

Before I Ever Met You

L Dec 2015

Before I Ever Met You

Everyone knows I'm right about one thing
You and I don't work out
You bring out the mean in me
I bring out your insecurities
You know what I am talking bout
Eventually you'll be fine if we break up
And one day I'll be fine too
But we should just end it now
Before someone gets more hurt than they have to

Before I ever met you
I never knew that my heart could love so hard
Before I ever met you
I never knew I would be enemies with disregard
Before I ever met you
I never knew that I liked to be kissed for days
Before I ever met you
I never knew I could be broken in so many ways

Banks

**
Leigh

604 · Apr 2016

You Don't Know

L Apr 2016

You Don't Know

Do you know what it's like to die alive?

Next to Normal

603 · Dec 2013

December 8th, 1980

L Dec 2013

December 8th, 1980

"Mr.Lennon?"

five shots
ringing out into the New York City air
one whizzing past
four making contact
connecting with the skin and bone
that make up his frail shoulder

a scream
ringing out into the New York City air
the yell of a woman
the cry of a soon-to-be widow
piercing the ears of all
that see his thin body hit the pavement

a whisper
slipping out into the New York City air
calling out in desperation
trembling with pain
it is hardly recognizable
the voice that once called out for peace

"I'm shot"

602 · Sep 2015

14w

L Sep 2015

14w

You are becoming my sense of home, one that I don't feel like abandoning.

Sorry for all the short stuff

**
Leigh

597 · Apr 2015

Words of Wisdom

L Apr 2015

Words of Wisdom

"We human beings spend our whole lives chasing after love. So when you find yourself in the extraordinarily rare position of being passionately loved in return by your beloved, please do not waste precious time worrying about whether their genitals are the right shape."

**
Leigh

591 · Feb 2016

Untitled

L Feb 2016

Untitled

Is God who I turn to in order to feel safe?

586 · Dec 2015

Blue Ocean Floor

L Dec 2015

Blue Ocean Floor

Frequencies so low
Heart on a string
A string that only plays solos
Rain made of echoes
Tidal wave rushing on and on

Shell made out of gold
Found on a beach picked up and you held so close
Rain washed out it's glow
Heartbeat steadily leads me down below

Under the water you scream so loud but the silence surrounds you
But I hear it loud and you fall in the deep and I'll always find you

If my red eyes don't see you anymore
And I can't hear you through the white noise
Just send your heartbeat I'll go to the blue ocean floor
Where they find us no more
On that blue ocean floor

Justin Timebrlake

So many memories lie in music. I wish I could forget the ones that rest in this one.

**
Leigh

583 · Apr 2015

Oceans // Hillsong United

L Apr 2015

Oceans // Hillsong United

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Fine

**
Leigh

579 · Mar 2014

Radiate

L Mar 2014

Radiate

Whenever you walk into the room, my eyes have to adjust.
The light you produce is blinding -- a torch in the middle of a dark cave.
What is that light?
Is it the light of happiness? The light of love?
Whatever it may be, don't let it extinguish.
You're the light that illuminates my eyes and my heart.
I would surely be lost without you.

not much, having a bit of writer's block... anywayyy
I love you, Rach <3 Thank you for being my personal sunlight.

574 · Apr 2015

10w

L Apr 2015

10w

Are you absolutely sure you could love someone like me?

I can't say the words, not yet
I'm sorry

**
Leigh

571 · Dec 2015

Untitled

L Dec 2015

Untitled

What did I do to deserve the hell you put me through?

569 · May 2015

10w

L May 2015

10w

We move against each other,
dancing to inner complementary melodies

**
Leigh

569 · Mar 2016

Toes

L Mar 2016

Toes

The surgeon asked if I could feel my toes
And for the first time...
*I was afraid to die

I've been remembering a lot recently.
One is how I felt before a life changing surgery

Leigh

564 · Oct 2014

My Personal Statement

L Oct 2014

My Personal Statement

I found myself in the music of
the Beatles --
In drastic rise and sultry fall of
John Lennon's voice.
In the rhythmic sound of
Paul McCartney's bass.
In the hauntingly beautiful chords of
George Harrison's guitar.
In the solidity and beat of
Ringo Starr's drums.
They helped me find
the life
that I thought had
drained out of me
long ago.
All four of them
pulled my heart
out of my chest,
patching and healing it
until it was whole again.
For them,
I am grateful.
Because of them,
I am alive.

For Berkeley.
For R.

**
Leigh

561 · May 2015

Untitled

L May 2015

Untitled

You were always searching for a father figure... I think you confuse your lust for some form of twisted love

I have enough knowledge to know that you're obssessed

For LD, since I apparently should clarify who I write every ******* thing about

561 · May 2015

B VI

L May 2015

B VI

I watched the sun set
behind your eyes
and realized that
I wanted to end every day
like our yesterday.

Falling

**
Leigh

556 · Feb 2015

Untitled

L Feb 2015

Untitled

And while we lay here
weeping and fighting
for our love,
*they win.

**
Leigh

555 · Feb 2014

Necessity

L Feb 2014

Necessity

It's 4 AM and visions of you are keeping me awake.
My mind is cluttered with thoughts I shouldn't be having...

I want to hold your hand in the backseat when my parents can't see.
I want to kiss that spot on your neck that I've been dying to.
I want to map out your body with only my fingertips.
I want my name spilling out of your mouth incoherently.
I need you.

Oh, please understand that when I said
"Stop..."
I really didn't mean it -- by no means did I mean it.
But I needed you to.
God knows what I would have done otherwise.

and the wants aren't only physical

****, have I become bold with this one
**

553 · Dec 2014

Untitled

L Dec 2014

Untitled

You are everywhere
yet all at once,
gone in the mist.
Why do you hide?
The sun shines
it's brightest
in front if it's sister moon.
Let your light
seep through
the delicate cracks
in your skin.
Like stained glass,
rainbows transcend
and break barriers.
Your glory
makes itself known.
You show your heart
again and again.
I am blinded,
but do not
shield my eyes
for I would miss
your beauty.

Apparently, I wrote this in my journal on September 24... don't recall doing so? Doesn't make much sense.
For R, naturally.

**
Leigh

549 · Mar 2015

Lungs

L Mar 2015

Lungs

I'm tempted to light the cigarette that's hidden away on my bookshelf -- Maybe then I'll be able to breathe.

548 · May 2015

Hiding

L May 2015

Hiding

The art of hiding doesn't come easily to me.
I'd rather be an open book
than one closed tightly with a bookmark.
I hate hiding how I feel.
I'd rather show the world,
whether they want to see it or not.
So I'll kiss your neck in chemistry
and I'll wrap my arms around your waist in history.
Let them see.
I'm not hiding anymore.

An old one, though some words have been changed
**
Leigh

547 · Mar 2016

</3

L Mar 2016

</3

You always wanted to be a Heartbreaker

You're making a ******* fool of yourself.
I almost feel bad for you.
But hey, karma's a real *****.

Leigh

546 · Feb 2016

10w

L Feb 2016

10w

Will it take your breath?
Will it make you burn?

Leigh

546 · Apr 2016

Hysteria

L Apr 2016

Hysteria

I'm not breaking down
I'm breaking *out

Muse

Leigh

544 · Jan 2014

crystal

L Jan 2014

crystal

I await the day of clear prosperity
when the sun shines and the sky is blue.

I await the day of clear prosperity
when the guns cease and the peace overflows.

I await the day of clear propensity
when the child can thrive and the family lives.

I await the day of clear prosperity
when the hate blows away and the love conquers.

535 · Mar 2015

How to Stop Your Own Suicide Attempt

L Mar 2015

How to Stop Your Own Suicide Attempt

Untangle yourself from your sheets.
Change your clothes.
Brush your hair.
Breathe
Brush your teeth.
Drink water.
Eat fruit.
Breathe
Pick a movie on Netflix.
Watch it without distraction.
Laugh at the jokes.
Breathe
Don't think about pills.
Don't think about crying.
Don't think.
Breathe
Get up.
Change your clothes.
Wash the tear stains from your face.
Breathe
Get in the car.
Pick up your sister.
Don't let them see you breaking.
Breathe
Remember that you're loved.
You have so much to do.
You have your entire life.
*Breathe...

**
Leigh

531 · Feb 2016

/

L Feb 2016

/

I understand it now, the difference between lust and love.

Leigh

530 · Apr 2015

Amy

L Apr 2015

Amy

Through tears and heartbreak
Through laughs and euphoria
Through smiles and peacefulness
You remain a constant

Never take a sister for granted
I love you so much

**
Leigh

530 · Dec 2014

Hosanna

L Dec 2014

Hosanna

"Sing me your songs, but not for me alone
Sing out for yourselves, for you are blessed
There is not one of you who cannot win the kingdom
The slow, the suffering, the quick, the dead..."

A little Thursday inspiration...
Song from the 70s rock musical, Jesus Christ Superstar.
Hope it brings you some hope :)

**
Leigh

525 · Apr 2014

I Am Not Yours

L Apr 2014

I Am Not Yours

I will not allow you to own half of my heart any longer.
The property you staked dwindles day by day.
She is quickly filling in the you-shaped space, the space you occupied for so very long.
Get out of my head.
Step away from my heart.
Do not make me feel guilty for loving again.

...

524 · Aug 2014

Poetic Freedom of Speech (10w)

L Aug 2014

Poetic Freedom of Speech (10w)

You don't have to read what I write, dear friend.

Whether it be about religious beliefs or mental illness or physical love,
a poet writes about what they feel...
Sometimes, those writings can get very personal.
But who are you to tell a poet "No, you can't write about that"?

**
Leigh

521 · Nov 2013

fuck this and fuck you

L Nov 2013

**** this and *******

I just want to get away from you all for a week.

520 · Apr 2016

12w

L Apr 2016

12w

What is the music of Your Soul?
For whom do You play?

Leigh

517 · Jan 2016

EC

L Jan 2016

EC

"Once you commit the sin, how easy is it to do it again? Very."

Leigh

517 · Dec 2013

thinking, thinking...

L Dec 2013

thinking, thinking...

these thoughts, though usually hidden
so quickly locked away inside
these thoughts, though they are forbidden
never will cease nor will subside

there were many fleeting moments
when I believed that I loved you
there were many fleeting moments
when I believed you loved me too

letting my heart play this pointless game
while I sit and write this foolish line
is love the way I say your name
or maybe the way you say mine

love, do not hide your gifted mind
let your aspirations flow and be
love, please do let these thoughts be kind
and let them slowly drift to me

written for an English project... very proud of the words

516 · Feb 2016

Godawful Things

L Feb 2016

Godawful Things

Only an angel can know there's love to find behind closed doors
In time you'll know when you're ready for more
Though you have not a lot to say, let me roll the
stone away
Through you I am saved...
Thank the good Lord
For those godawful things
That brought you to me

Lake Street Dive

For B

Leigh

514 · Sep 2014

Wings

L Sep 2014

Wings

I am moving with the wind
at a pace you cannot keep up with.
Sailing free, no holding back now.
I'm soaring,
high above the clouds and earth and destruction of the heart.
I'm escaping on these wings
and there is nothing you can do
to hold my feet against the ground...
I am flying
higher and higher and higher.

Feeling inspired this beautiful morning

**
Leigh

514 · Feb 2014

Oh, My Love...

L Feb 2014

Oh, My Love...

You make me believe in the kind of love I thought only existed in the novels on my bookshelf.

You make me want to lasso the stars and pull them down to earth, just to see your smile.

You make me want to thank whatever god there is for bringing you into my heart.

*You make me believe in me.

508 · Mar 2016

3/22

L Mar 2016

3/22

Now the user is being used
What a pleasant turn of events

"You're a fool, Jesus Christ."

Leigh

508 · May 2015

10w

L May 2015

10w

You've made a home in the space between my ribs

**
Leigh

507 · Jan 2016

<

L Jan 2016

<

Maybe - finally - I'm releasing the voice I've kept inside.

Leigh

506 · Oct 2015

Guess Who

L Oct 2015

Guess Who

I can't tell you how I feel, but I do
Those things they say can't get to me, but they do
I don't see the sky as blue, as you do
Should I fantasize? There must be some way to love again

It's been so hard for a girl like me, it's true
People say I look just like my daddy, cause I do

All I really want is peace of mind

Why is everything so complicated?
Why is everyone so infatuated?
I gather myself safely
Until life on earth looks warm again

Everybody's leaving all the time
All I really want is peace of mind

Alabama Shakes

not mine

**
Leigh

505 · Aug 2014

Hollywood Worthy Love

L Aug 2014

Hollywood Worthy Love

If this summer was a movie,
it would be titled,
"The Summer I Gave My Heart Away"

...yes, appropriately titled.

The cast?
You and I.

The plot?
Simple, really.

I pull my heart out of it's barb wired cage and throw it on a chopping block, all the while shouting,
"Here, take it!"...
Yet internally whispering,
"Please, don't break it."

You hold the knife, ready to plunge and watch my life pour out.
But you don't.
You pick it up, open the cage, and gently return it home.
"I won't, I love you."

So that's how the story goes.

Roll camera...

Action!

Silly silly writing.
Yet ANOTHER for R,
who's taught me that loving can be fun.

**
Leigh

504 · Aug 2014

RW

L Aug 2014

RW

Oh captain, my captain.
Why did you jump ship
and leave your loyal crew
with nothing left to grip?

I adored Robin Williams.
Grew up watching his movies and loving his laughter.
RIP,
you wonderful soul.

**
Leigh