I'm afraid to write about you because
Ink makes me feel everything,
And everything feels so much more real
When my cursive words smudge up against
The side of my hand and stain it blue
As my pen races to keep up with my heart

But it can't be real,
Because I thought I was moving on,
I thought I was growing up,
I thought I knew all of this was
Foolish and starry-eyed

I thought, I thought, I thought
But maybe I need to stop thinking
And just let myself feel;
Feel the butterflies you put in my stomach,
Feel the pure bliss you infuse into bloodstream

And maybe I don't need to know everything,
Like exactly what you're thinking
Or exactly how I feel
Or how all of this is going to turn out

I guess what I'm saying is that
Everything isn't always going to be clear,
I may come up to "two roads in a yellow wood"
And not be absolutely certain which one I'm meant to take,
But I do know that whichever path I choose,
I'd like to be able to scan the trees and smile
Because you're there walking alongside me.

rippled water
  sunlit stones
                         your figure outlined
                         reflected in the hues
like a memory
     you stand here
edging my sanity
                                                    please, someone distract me tomorrow
                                                    i'm scared
               someone hold me to sleep
                          wipe away the tears
                                                                   voices haunt
                                                    i'm scared
          someone hold insanity away
                      distract me from tears
                                                    i'm sorry
*hold me safe?

eyelashes;
they hold one another
                only at night
but they're constantly
                            brushing each other
                            throughout the day
                            for less than a second
of embracing
before being
                                               ripped                      apart
to once again
hold the other
at night when
               eyes are **closed

I thought I wanted someone to hold me.
Turns out I wanted someone to hold me and tell me they love me.

I thought I wanted wild, unattached ***.
Turns out I wanted wild *** with him completely attached to me.

I thought I wanted a large house.
Turns out I wanted somewhere to belong.

I thought I knew what I wanted.
Turns out I wanted what I knew.

Why is it so hard to cry?
I need to cry.
I feel like crying,
But nothing happens.

Lying here curled up in my bed.
Thoughts run through my head
Distracting from my feelings while enhancing them.
Eventually a tear rolls down my nose.

One lonely sad tear.
Just like me.
A bit pathetic really.
Just like me.