My mind has run off on an adventure
And left me far behind

I remember thinking
if I could just coordinate my
thoughts and my tongue
for more than a focused second
I could tell you
that the lack of
permanence in our nature;
the same one your lips
relentlessly describe
is the swamp
sitting stagnant
at the core of my anxiety
You don't ******* get it
I don't want to lose you

I was never meant to hear
you say
"Nothing lasts forever"
It was never for me
It was yours all along
It was the last bit of bait
you were throwing
to reel your drifting sanity
back into your veins,
Wasn't it?
****
I don't want to lose you

I want to write a poem
For the love of my life
Thanking him for grace
And soon making me his wife

What a life we have ahead
Though things may be tough
We'll make it through whatever
For our love is enough

So here is a poem for you
My sweetest sky
Thank you for your love
You make my heart soar high

I'll be with you  forever
All of my days and more
We will defeat all battles
And win every war

Little things always change
They all build up
And I always forget
To watch for it
Though not always for the worse
Little things always change

when i was 13,
"if your friends jumped
off a cliff would you?"
was an effortless,
"no"
because when i was 13
the cliff was a tall,
intimidating
piece of land
with a neon sign that said
"impending doom"
lit up at the edge,
but now im 20
and the cliff
comes in glass bottles
and the cliff
comes in thick syringes
and the cliff
is drawn beneath
my skin
in india ink
and down below it,
i can see my home town
and i can hear the patient voices
of the kids i grew up with
that never got out,
shakily shouting
"come down here;
it's easier at the bottom"
and if im being honest
im stumbling toward it
with an alarming
lack of fear