Stupid girl you never know
Never know just what to do
When you stay or when you go
Hold you breath until you choke
Say goodnight and sleep well
You're under such a selfish spell

And suddenly
the phrase
"the one whom
my soul loves"
has never felt
so strong
and so real

And I knew this girl,
She straightened, she curled
Just to meet up the idea of beauty
To impress others she felt it was her duty.

She was fat and chubby,
Nevertheless she was always called grubby.
She never fit their idea of beauty
Ha! How she thought it was her duty!

Size zero was something she wanted but never got.
And so all they did was leave her to rot!
She hated herself for the way she looked.
But who knew, deep inside real beauty she cooked.


Her beauty was inevitable
But how the world saw her was terrible.
So what if she never fit their idea of beauty?
Little did she know,it was never her duty!

Thinking is no longer easy,
for all that runs through my mind,
is all that you took, so easily.
So greedily, you picked every petal,
off the flower of my innocence.
And I regret it.

But never once did I tell you no,
because I started to believe,
that love granted the right to take,
so I traded the most intimate
parts of myself for love,
and never spoke a word when
you felt the need to delve into me,
only let heavy breathing
replace gentle heart,
and I was only a young thing.
Didn't know how it felt to be taken
for granted. But I learned.
Quite quickly.

It got to a point where there was,
absolutely no indication.
No questions asked.
Your callused hands simply took,
what you made me believe
was rightfully yours.
And it hurt to think that
I was a piece of property.
But I let it go on because I was
afraid if I didn't,
you'd find someone who would.

One day you finally took too much.
And I finally let go,
of what I thought was love.
I let go because love isn't greedy.
Love is gentle and kind,
and it waits, until you're ready.
Ready to free the parts
of your soul that you thought
could never be touched.
I was naive.
Letting you take so much of me,
it left me wounded.
Now all that's left of you,

a scar strategically placed on my heart.

It has been exactly three weeks,
since the day I decided you were
no longer to my liking.
And just last night,
I finally decided it was time,
to cleanse my living spaces,
free them of the paraphernalia
of our, so-called love.

Three hoodies, a T'shirt.
Stuffed animals. A black fitted NY hat.
Two rings, a necklace.
The cross from your communion,
which I dented once,
testing its quality.
It's funny how things,
can look like the purest gold,
and flex like a simple copper.
Simple irony, to which we held true.

I can no longer listen to music,
without thinking of you.
Without comparing our problems,
to the melodies of the newest country songs.
But they're not our problems anymore.
I'm just dwelling on the past,
in order to stop the process of change.
In mid clean-up, I realize this.

I threw what ever remained,
of our past in the box,
and left the room.
Choked up by the mere thought,
of missing anything related to us.

One day you'll simply be a story line,
in the plot of my complicated teen years.
But until then, I'm happy with forgetting you.
One of these days, I'll be able to,
simply ship that ******* box back to you,
without a second thought,
but until then it will hide in my closet,
while the memories ferment,
in the back of my mind.

And oh, I've learned
What I do
What I cause
That these things
At the very root
Are my cause

I do not show you
Proper love
Or respect
Or how incredible
Your worth is

And because of this
These things remain
These struggles
This pain you feel
I'm so sorry I do this
To you
My love

Would it be so much better
If I were just
Gone?

I love you