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Hush little child, don't you cry.
Don't cut your arms, I can't say goodbye.
I know it hurts, but you'll be alright.

Careful little child, that's a very sharp knife.
Try to put it down, it won't help you tonight.
I know it's painful, but it will be alright.

Think darling child, it's a long way down.
Jumping off a roof, might **** you  now.
I know it's painful, but you might be alright.

See you, lovely child, you have said goodbye.
You jumped off a roof, now you've lost this fight.
I'm sorry I couldn't help, you tried to hold on tight.

Life isn't easy, and sometimes you can't win this life.
 Oct 2014 Krusty Aranda
Morgan
she laughs
so carelessly
with purple lips,
purple teeth
& a purple tongue
after drinking four glasses
of a cheap merlot
and
her eyes look
so wide and vibrant
right before she starts to tear
because she poked herself
with eyeliner,
watching her cat roll over
and then she's cursing
at the GPS on the way to
new york,
and my ribs are aching
cause she just told a machine
that she named robo-*****
to "take a ******* xanax"
after missing six left turns
in a row
and she has track marks
all down her arms
but we're older now
and i've got tons of
those plastic hospital
bracelets in a box in
my closet
but we're better now
so please forgive me
for believing the whole
entire world
is ******* poetry
I'm drowning in scribbled over notes,
paragraphs of novels assigned,
questions I'm supposed to know the answers to,
conjugations I'm supposed to learn for German 2.

School work, homework, dishes, done.
sleep comes easy to the overworked.
Tired minds make assumptions too quickly,
and this is my main reasoning for never speaking.

In early morning hours,
before sleep finally comes,
I'll question everything under the sun,
and answers just won't come.

It's curse of high school living.
The curse of constantly controlled breathing,
making sure to keep pace with my heart rate,
because if I don't it may spike.

Anxiety is my daily dividend,
making sure to keep me at length from any friends,
making sure to keep me at length from any progress,
making sure to keep me afraid.
Hazy thoughts and poor vision,
tiredness spending the night,
in the corners of my eyes.

The same thoughts are ever present,
and they're thoughts of regaining access,
to the bliss of being in your arms.
I keep making these promises to myself.
To myself, because they wouldn't matter as much
promised to anyone else.

I've 5 days being strong,
and now the sense of strength is wearing off.

I'm seriously thinking of giving up.
Regardless of all the reasons I have to be strong.
Last week, I lost you, and now I'm ripping at my flesh.
Last week, I lost you, and now I'm swimming in regret.

I didn't want to loose you.
I wasn't ready for this pain.
I didn't want to say goodbye.
I wish, your life, I could have saved.

I remember when you told me.
How you cried a river's flow.
I remember how you took the knife,
and cut almost to your bones.

You told me, on that Monday, that you'll love me for eternity.
You told me, on that Tuesday, that some goodbyes weren't forever.
I told you, on that Monday, that I'd be with you always.
But by your face, on that Tuesday, I should have known you were telling me goodbye forever.

I got the call, on that Wednesday, that your soul had slipped away.
I got that call, on that Wednesday, that you had hung yourself to lay.
I was told, on that Thursday, that the funeral was Saturday.
I told them, on that Friday, I couldn't bare to go.

I remember, the day I met you, the day we won.
We won a friend, the day we met, that we both claimed forever.
Now your gone, on this day, and I can't stand regret.
Now your gone, on this day, and I just want to rest
eternally - forever - always.
I miss you Julliet. I loved you. I just wish the others could have seen what I did.
 Sep 2014 Krusty Aranda
Morgan
Even as my last professor on a Friday says, "have a good weekend" & I am sharply reminded that I will work doubles all weekend long to pay rent on a life that I don't want,
I love you
And when my friends from high school call my dad for legal advice, making it painfully obvious that they never got better,
I still love you
And later in the night when I am drinking myself to sleep & wondering indefinitely if I too, never got better,
I ******* love you
And when I am driving to North Philly at three in the morning because my sister is breaking and I don't want her to break alone,
Well, I love you then, too
And when I pull over on 6-11, the next morning, with my head in my hands and scream "I ******* hate everyone", I just want you to know that you're the only one who makes a liar out of me
 Sep 2014 Krusty Aranda
Morgan
I have never felt more alone, gripping this coffee mug,

sat up in the center of my queen sized bed.

And it never gets old, choosing the cutest coffee mug that no one will see me drink out of.

I could just sip from a plastic cup but I don't think I'm ready to give the act up.



I have never felt more alone, microwaving cool coffee in a cute mug.

Because, the truth is I could only drink from Styrofoam,

But the roses painted on the warm ceramic in my hand make me feel like the kind of girl you'd wanna lay in bed with all day,

So, for now, I won't have any,

I'll just keep it warm

until you call to say you're on your way.
 Sep 2014 Krusty Aranda
Morgan
We like to watch the sunflowers lose their petals because it comforts us to know that the things we found beautiful when they were strong & whole are still beautiful even when they fall apart
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