This is a love poem.
This is a poem for the girl I haven't met yet,
with the long brown hair
and the eyes that always look down.

This is a poem for the girl who thinks this is about her,
and this is a poem for the girl who thinks this is about her.

And it is about you.
It's about your eyes,
and how they don't blink sixty times a minute and
I'm jealous of that,
because you don't have to deal with time passing by as quickly as I do.
And sure, you have a kaleidoscope heart, but
you also have a honeysuckle smile.
And sure, a lot of the time, you see the bad -
but that doesn't mean you can't see the good, either.

I want you to twist my skin between your hands, like an Indian rug burn,
and change me,
because we both know that it isn't as hard as we pretend it to be.
Always look forward,
and adjust me with your fingertips until I'm whatever color you want me to be,
because I'll change for you.

Day 126:

I can't keep up with the length of your hair. I can't remember if we shook our right hands or our left. I still haven't fixed the collar on your shirt because I hung it up in the back of my closet.

Day 127:

The smell of you is fading from me, faster than that sand slipping through my fingers when we went to the beach for the Fourth of July. You walked away without a sunburn.

Roll off my tongue like venom,
Awkward shapes whenever I see them,
Smiling yet heartless, cold and plain,
A boring shape, horribly lame.
Stems and petals not even pretty,
You're nothing special, cold hands so fitting,
Dull brown hair dressed up like me,
I despise your cheeks, legs, eyes, everything.



Said from a flower, broken and dead,
Sometimes I wish he had kept me instead.

Does she know her profound effect, on two lowly rejects
or is she luminescent from some mutual recompense
and how do you feel when the exhilaration has faded?

'Secret gratification, I see you behind the blind, pacing
*******, for the girl above your station
It's grating how you feel so humiliated
When you spot me in my lounge,
amused by the situation'

It's a mad sporadic dash to end, how long will she stand
It's a repressed trend but furthermore it soon wanes
and we're all left motionless, unbridled and insane

You, ******, master of disguise
Beautiful young girl, pale blue eyes
Me, misanthrope, full of despise
Cars on the street, I hear the cries
Human nature is strong, I sympathise
But in broad daylight,
can you truly say this is wise?

I look at the legs of older men
Aged, with their imperfections
showing more visibly every day.
Clustered veins bulging
like roots from a tree
climbing from under the dirt.

I look at the bodies of women
who have lost their youth
from passing years and cigarette butts.
Their faces sagging and folding over
pressing lines into the skin,
a new flaw every year.

And I'm haunted that one day
my body will be decrepit and tattered
like the rags of a skeleton's suit,
and I wonder who will love me
when I have nothing left to show.

Waking as a woman, new skin glistens and the skies are bluer
My baggy clothes fit no longer,
and my window pane is the devil's eye
Heels tap tarmac
Hair long, singing, alive, loving
Wolf whistle samurai, old me dies
This is how it feels to be accepted

Nightfall doldrums, walls sweat profusely, laughing
Skin tight clothes, constriction, regret,
and liquid death like poison in the throat
Gang dem talk loud, wolf whistle predator
Racing rabbit, running running run, run
Cold breeze silence
and sobbing into the handbag

Waking as a spirit, ethereal pleasure
The re-appropriation of gender
and manic transcendence
Post-modern love.

I am sorry that I
           pulled
                      and
                            pulled
u­ntil it hurt to move your feet apart anything more than six inches

I am sorry that I pulled you in
only to push you away
and leave you
with a knot in your stomach the size of
                                                                ­           canada
I did not mean to pull your stitches out and
open a glass case full of ghosts and
leave the sugar crystals stuck between your teeth I am
not who you thought I was I am
moonshine
under
moon shine and I am
a trigger warning I am a
trigger warning
trigger
warning
Don't forget about me