The world is full of misery with all our failed relations
Mixed feelings and emotions in my mind's hallucinations
The love of a derailed heart in clouded stipulations
When two lover's are forced apart, alone in different station's
Don't succumb to the seven year itch or feelings of flirtatious
Illicit thoughts invade your mind with paranoid creations
Loving seems to turn to hate with harsh eliminations
There is a sense of numbness without any good sensations
The depths of beauty are denied without any realisations  
lover's heart's are always lost in hopeless situations
The misery of loneliness gets worse with desperations  
Maybe it's because we have too many expectations

Life's to short for broken heart's waiting to be mended
Especially when your lover's gone and your heart is blended
It doesn't have to be this way or completely ended
Stop wasting time for love that's lost this can be amended
A limbo living state of mind is not really recommended
Being with the one you love should always be defended
Soul mate's that are separated can never be contented
Because their heart's are aching and love is not attended
A heart sent gift with feelings there's no need to be offended
It's the way I've always been a characteristic I have tended
Everything can work out fine our life and love extended
If you really want them too then this will be commended

There is no need to be unhappy all you need are chances
A lover's dream can come true not just distant glances
All you need is faith of the heart within your own expanses
Don't lose the love that you once had in falling avalanches
Losing a friend and lover, your feelings are in trances
The bleeding of a broken heart seeping through snapped branches
If your lover's left you, there is no more advances
The grass is not that greener it's only different dances
Maybe your the loser, lost looks are not young stances
True love's supposed to conquer all I'm not sure if it enhances
Kindness is forgotten and the good time's fled in prances
And people will always suffer from all life's failed romances

The future is not bright at all it's an abysmal place
It's a world full of the dead, the dying human race
where everything you care about all falling far from grace
And the ashes of all past events are burning without trace
There's nothing in your future there is no silk or lace
Full of demonic forces wearing future's disguised face
A demon lay in waiting to beat you with it's mace
The future is time's henchmen there's nothing to embrace

If you think about the future it's something that It's not
Your future is ahead of you, that's not what you have got
Your life is getting shorter and it's over in a shot
Your own death is there waiting, the end is future's plot
You can't outrun the future, It'll block you in a clot
Waiting for your last moments, the future's where you'll rot
The outlook of the future is not really all that hot
I'm afraid your goose is cooked in future's cooking ***

So be very careful and don't believe your eye's
Don't ever trust the future it's based on pretentious lies
The future will just ****** you before your next sunrise
And you'll be lost in history it should come as no surprise
Heading towards the future that's something to despise
Because everything diminishes it does not compromise
As you reach your own end, there isn't any highs
Don't you know that Death is just the future in disguise

The future it destroys your past the moment you are born
It doesn't care how young you are or if your old and worn
Or if your laying in your bed or sitting on a lawn
The future rips your time away your life's blood will be torn
Your whole past will be destroyed, that is future's scorn
a very nasty piece of work with celestial strength and brawn
It is unavoidable it's the place you will be drawn
Future's end is waiting, it is your future's dawn

I know that I'll be future's pray, I really do despair
Knowing that eventually I will end up in future's lair
But unfortunately for every race it's something we all share
We all end up in the same place ascending future's stair
Future's revenge on humanity, we all sit in future's chair
No point trying to survive the occasion is not rare
It makes me go out of my mind it's something I can't bare
plagued with devastation because the future doesn't care

The future kills the past it's what the future is creating
The death of all humanity is all within it's making
There is no point just sitting there and anticipating
All the future wants to do is cold blood eliminating
The future is sadistic it's you that it is baiting
It strikes its fear into all things and everything relating
You can not get away from the end even with migrating
After all your end will come where future's end is waiting

Time is the biggest killer, time it makes no friends
Time is really a disease, time it never mends
Time is against us all, with pieces that time lends
all the good times that we have. .  well time then just pretends
A little piece of happiness a shred of time that bends
Time it just kills everything destruction is what time sends
Time is a dictator it destroys all life in trends
The only thing time does not ****, it's time that never ends

I wonder what's the point in life, when everything just dies
Where there's life, there is hope, that's all a load of lies
It doesn't matter about the lows or any of the highs
Or all the times we have done well, with all of our hard tries
Any good achievements,  our gains and our great buys
Because everything in the end is crushed between life's thighs
Its just a struggle living, with to many stressful sighs
And life itself is gaining ground, to many sad goodbyes

Stalking you your whole life, time's an invisible killer
Grinding pieces of your life, falling from
time's miller
Holes cutting through the ages, time's dying from life's driller
And any of the good times, that's just life's sweet filler
A predator throughout your life, time is a big blood spiller
Just a silent murderer, your life's in time's cold chiller
Time squeezes your life away like a strong rabid gorilla
Life squashed beneath time's giant foot a community's crumbling pillar

Into oblivion is where you'll go no matter how much strife
Time is your true nemesis, not an obnoxious wife
It's the same world over from England through to Fife
Time will cut away your life like a big sharp carving knife
So whatever you may do or wherever is your rife
Time will take you in the end, time kills the point of life

Poor old Max, pushed from pillar to post
What he needed was love the most
He really wasn't wanted the poor old dog
And his whole life was an uphill slog
In his early life his home's didn't last
From place to place he was passed
he needed stability when all's said and done
Because his young life was not much fun
He wanted to feel safe with lots of love
A loving family when push comes to shove
With people that love and people who care
To make his life better, and time's to share
A place for his food, a place for his bed
Just somewhere he could lay his head
He stayed with us, he felt at home
He was no longer left on his own
But he was thin and a little bit mad
A little bit vulnerable a little bit sad
Loving his food, with his funny ways
A bit of happiness in his later days
But that was late on in his life
After all the stress and all the strife
When he first stayed a long time ago
We gave him love It goes to show
Our part time dog, because we cared
And all his later life we shared
His struggle in life seemed to enhance
He really didn't have much of a chance
With all the sadness of our poor old boy
His life breaking down like a broken toy
It breaks my heart to think when he's gone
How are we going to cope and carry on
With all our efforts and however we try
It always hurts when our loved ones die
The pain will be there I'm not going to pretend
When Max's time with us comes to an end
With His health diminishing melting like wax
The life and heartache of our Poor old Max

If I could live a life tomorrow, lost in a different world.
A splinter of a different place, in a time unfurled
Pieces of another life, where other thoughts are hurled
Swimming in tranquil pools, from a mind that's swirled
Through the haze of memories, distorted bent and curled
Decisions that have not been made, similar but twirled

An image of a different world, caught in a singularity
Thoughts fragmented in a void shredding my mentality
Segments of a fractured mind in an alternate reality
A small piece of a dream, A fragment of normality
many fractions of my life that questions my insanity
Feelings of a better place that curves my sensuality

Dimensions in a different time, inclines so obscure
Alternative parts of my life through a different door
Images of loved ones gone, to real to just ignore
Shadows of a former life, places from before
One step beyond the barrier, steps on another shore
Walking in an unknown land not knowing what's in store

Drifting between the twilight, lost in your own dimensions
Shades of different lifetimes, all of life's extensions
Floating in a time warp, with other world intentions
Memories of things not done, a mind of reinventions
Shredded dreams chipped away shattered in suspensions
Trapped fragments of a memory merged with your own pretensions

Living in a another world, no matter what my morrow's
Rifts in space on splintered dreams, a breach in time that follows
A fraction of a quantum field, a universe which borrows
Shards of a sun on broken stars in a mind that hollows
A chance to live a different life without any of life's sorrows
Waiting to be in a life of all those lost tomorrow's

Dreaming of those good times even though my dreams are shattered
Memories of the years with you, now my dreams are scattered
Tears of our dreams ripped away with everything that mattered
Dreams of the feelings that we shared, our love all torn and battered
Happy with the love you gave, my bleeding hearts now tattered
Petals fall from a weeping rose, seeping blood that's splattered

How did it get this way, how did it all go wrong ?
Why are thing's as bad as this, when our love was strong ?
Life's to short before we die and sing our final song
Feelings of this nature I've had for far too long
Many time's are wasted, so much forever gone
A lovers heart in a dream lay waiting all along

When I truly love you, my feelings are not lent
My dreams are forever, sentiments are meant
Forever means forever, love is no accident
Broken hearts bring so much pain with every lost segment
dreams are always shattered love's your own torment
With the feeling of the lose of a love's sweet scent

So listen to your heart don't ignore your own fate
hold onto your lovers dreams before it is to late
Don't **** what love you have, don't turn love to hate  
it really isn't worth all the pain of a lost soul mate
Open up your own heart, there's no need to desecrate
Let all your love flood through and open up the gate

Too many tears have flowed, all washed away in streams
Scorching hearts are burning, ashes falling on sun beams
Shattered dreams are always there, my mind plagued to extremes
nothing ever stays to long, even love looses it's strong seams
Bleeding hearts are torn away with distant lovers screams
A lovers heart is broken On all those shattered dreams

What's the point in loving, when it always turns too sour
When you have found the one you want, attracted by loves power
Love blossoms between two souls, like a new born open flower
Elevating your true feelings, on loves affectionate tower
Love washed away with every storm and every raining shower
Why does it all diminish by the day and even hour by hour?

They always say they love you when everything is new
Way back at the time when both your loves first grew
So very comforting knowing their loves there to turn too
Forever their your life long love there is no other view
They say their loves forever, why does it always go askew?
You can not help who you love what are you supposed to do?

They always seem to tell you that their love is forever?
And your the one they have searched for, no one else no never
With our feelings for each other, love bonding us together
Surviving all life's problems, love always will endeavour
No matter how hard I've tried, love seems to always sever
Without the love that we have. there is nothing whatsoever

Those lost loves maybe gone but they are not forgotten
Pining for those lost times, in my mind so very often
Through times gone by feelings and love they will never soften
Everything then starts to fall, loves sweet fruit turns rotten
Why does Love always turn from silk to fraying broken cotton
Sun's go down on the love we had, our life is misbegotten

There is no need to be like this, if you let me through the door
Without any animosities, love doesn't have to be a chore
Why cant things be the way, like the way they where before?
Things that are lost can be regained I'm hoping there's a cure
It really is not your fault who you have feelings for
Thinking of what should have been and always wanting more

They say your part of their life, when your hearts where both embossed
A shadow of my former self now our hearts are no longer crossed
Heart's frozen in cold feelings, loves shattered in the frost
Sadness pain and heartache, times and feelings tossed
Remembering the good times, those times come at a cost
Because even with the small things, to many loves are lost

There is a dangerous man I implore you to take heed
He will do anything to satisfy his own need
He will pretend to like you, on your soul he'll feed
When he's got your confidence your heart he'll always bleed
His persona will alter,  his greediness will breed
And he'll resort to ****** when everything's agreed
when he has got everything, he will make you plead
This man must be stopped, don't let him spread his seed
There are too many of his kind and so many of his creed
There is a need for justice, my sisters souls not freed

Praying on my sisters kindness and her vulnerabilities
knowing of my sisters illnesses her medical disabilities
Using underhanded tactics to exploit her instabilities
Relying on her personal assets without any liabilities
To get his hands on her things without any responsibilities
being part of her life to use her house and her facilities
If he didn't get what he wanted, turning to hostilities
Overpowering my sister's state of mind limiting her abilities

When he sold my sisters things his intentions where revealed
Once he bled my sister dry then her fate was sealed
when his plan came to ahead he dumped her in a field
Leaving him to ransack her house and her things he stealed
All of those missing weeks our sisters death concealed
With our sisters sad demise our hearts are never healed
He should pay for his crimes, without the authorities shield
Confess to what he's done and make the ******* yield
Don't succumb to his lies, don't let his influence wield
You better watch out for this man and keep your eyes well peeled

During our sister's inquest the evidence was curved
It was an open verdict the true facts where reserved
We suffered 9 weeks of hell, our point was not observed
Mandy's life was forfeited, her life was not conserved
he got away with ****** didn't get what he deserved
The punishment should fit the crime not anything preserved
No one was accountable justice wasn't served
Convict this man of his crimes, decisions not reversed

Our sister never had a fare chance all she had was pain
He tortured her mentally all for his own gain
Lying for his own ends he was my sister's bane
Causing her physical harm, by his hands she was slain
His part in her death is not so straight or plain
Due to his interference we'll never see her again
His presence at her inquest, his choice was to refrain
Crucifixion is to good he's humanity's biggest stain
Destruction should be performed, on society he's a drain
Justice should be served on that murderer and thief Mr **** Tustain

Always remembering my younger days
so much better in so many ways
Childhood dreams I always find
Distance thoughts locked in my mind
All those good times way back when
things where so much better then
And all the fun times that we had
With my sisters, mum and dad
family members those that cared
long ago those times we shared
Happy feelings so far away
Memories of a better day
We can't get back I wish we could
Back to that small neighbourhood
In the place where we all played
Where those memories all got made
Those childhood years are now so far
Just golden dreams on a distant star
That's the place I want to go
So far away and long ago
The memories of my younger life
Joy and happiness, tears and strife
Many thoughts of times lost
but time does come at a cost
Things diminish as time goes by
Especially when our loved ones die
So many loses through the years
Ending in sadness, pain and tears
People leave us some have died
No matter how hard we have tried
Future time brings so much pain
I would go back and start again
But We've had our time, those times are gone  
And only our memories will live on

Lowestoft was that small town the window crisis hit
Smudgy smears always appeared mixed with grubby grit
Filthy stains on dingy pains and ***** birdie ****
Cob webs spread like Spider-Man an attic window pit

The anguish of the people, through all their daily strains
Townsfolk getting upset with not seeing through the pains
Because of ***** windows and because of all the stains
Glass windows needed washing to remove the gritty grains

Many a small window and so many sheets of glass
Simple and posh leaded, no matter what the class
Awkward windows out of sight, you'd really rather pass
Reaching them is such a stretch, a real pain in the ****
They will be all shiny just like newly polished brass
When we stick our ladders down on your drive or grass

If you want your windows cleaned then just give us a call
Every smeared, smudged surface, we're equip to clean them all
Two savvy ladies on the case, arriving with a run not crawl
So if your in a ***** crises then don't you ever stall

We'll investigate your sheets of glass inserted in your wall
Giving them a good rub down before your windows fall
Even in a stately home, manor or great hall
Nothing is to high or low neither short or tall

All residential areas houses in your neighbourhood
Bungalows to tower blocks, we polish pretty good
Conservatories and porches, plastic through to wood
Industrial estates and caravans, cleaned the way they should
Wherever they are situated and wherever they are stood
Shops and local businesses, we'll turn up in a flood

If your windows are not clean and you've reached your tether
We'll grab all of our equipment and get everything together
Buckets, blades and applicators we're always window clever
Getting there before your despair and in any kind of weather
As long as we can make you smile with our cleaning endeavour
Make sure you call the best the girls of " All Weather Leather"

I recall the early days, my childhood I remembered
distant and so far away many things that are dismembered  
I remember all those times that we all had together
it was so much fun wishing it would last forever
playing in our own rooms with all our many toys
in a house full of sounds with lots of background noise
hearing my sisters in their room not far across the landing
sometimes they would argue over a small misunderstanding
and I would lay there in my room a box with a small bed
thinking I would rather be in my sisters room instead
sometimes we would play together silly little games
they would dress me up and make up different names
as we played in our rooms, mum and dads downstairs
With all our silly antics without any worldly cares
and our dad would make the dinner Sundays was his specialty
pleased with what he made us kids a really nice reality
and of course our mum who used to make such a fuss
so loving and caring she would do everything for us
we may not have had everything that other children had
but that really wasn't important in some ways I was glad
Thing's never really mattered as long as we all bonded
cos we really had most things that us kids ever wanted
I remember some of the Christmases with all the gifts and food
it was a time of happiness and when our toys got renewed
we had such great times when we where all so young
So many happy memories and many songs were sung
with all our beautiful pets around us all those cats and dogs
bundles of lovely fluff and fur those little odds and sods
times where so much better then I wish I could go back
we where so much happier, things then weren't so black
but we're all stuck in this reality all very pessimistic
so I guess I will just have to be a bit more realistic  
but I would rather be back there with my family of old
in a distant place and not somewhere that's so cold
with my sisters, mum and dad such a lovely place to be
having the fun that we used to have, all together them and me

If I could go back to my childhood
I tell you that I definitely would
Things were better in those days
Simplistic in many different ways
It was alright when I was a kid
Not many worries nothing was hid
And family life was really okay
Not like things are today
A few old times that I did like
Family holidays, my first bike
In the garden with my two sisters
Ones now gone I really miss-her
Happy times its not the same
Childish things playing games
In the sandpit our dad made
Outside when we all played
And our mum in her chair
by the fire when she sat there
All of the dogs that we had
Some where timid, some where mad
They made us happy, brought us joy
So soft and lovely like a toy
We used to love are life together
But nothing ever lasts forever
as time went on things then changed
People altered things rearranged
Some people left and moved on
Things where lost forever gone
Sadness and pain after a time
Nothing more then a distant mime
Trials and tribulations years gone by
And lots of things that made us cry
I liked it better when things where fine
Times gone by now memories of mine
Nowadays there's not much to say
I don't much like things this way
Okay there are a few good things
But I still don't like what the future brings
If only I could return, I was happier then
Relive the good times, be happy again
It would be lovely but so very far
Back where all my memories are

I really feel that life isn't so good
Things never go the way that they should
As the years go by things get worse
I think getting older is just a curse
But things wasn't good when I was young
Thats what time for me has always sung
I just don't like what the future holds
And how things always fits to moulds
Only short periods of time when your happy
The rest of the time is just so ******
I wish that things where so much better
And things where good and to the letter
But I just feel that I'm just to yucky
I never seem to get too lucky
There was lady's in my younger days
That I liked but it was just kid plays
It was never anything more than that
Maybe I was not nice just an ugly ****
When I went out it was a mistake
Cos my friends always got the brake
And as time went on it's just the same
Except its more extent and so lame
I just feel that lifes such a bore
things are wasting there should be more
But it doesn't matter how hard I've tried
It ends in tears and I have cried
Every time I think things are okay
Something always goes astray
So I just guess that that's my lot
And that's all that I have ever got
I feel to fat and I'm getting to old
I'm loosing my looks and going bald
And not many people are interested
And there time in me is not invested
So I'll just have to put up with it
And that lifes no good and really ****
At least that's how it's always been for me
I guess that's how things will always be

There are girls none of them call me
In their bed, is where I want to be
Every time I try, I go round the bend
It's not so wrong, if you will be my ****** friend

Maybe tomorrow, you'll sit on my baton
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep wanking on

Down the road there's a guy that's bent
That's the place where I am usually sent
So if I want to **** him for a while
I'll grab his ****, and ease it in
That's **** style

Maybe tomorrow, I'll bend the other way
Untill Tomorrow, I'm not going to turn gay

So if I have to have a **** for a while
I'll grab my ****, pull it tight
That's Solo style

Maybe tomorrow, You'll let me have a feel
Until tommorow, I'll pull down my own peel

Maybe tomorrow, I'll get my **** chance
Until tomorrow, I'll look on with a glance

There are gilrs thats waiting to undress,
A chance for a ****...Well thats anybody's guess
If you offered *** you know I wont be long
I'll be there, lets just be fair and I'll play along

Maybe tommorow, I'll find what I'm looking for,
Until tomorrow, I'll peer through your room door

So if you want to **** me for a while,
I'll grab your ring, come round tonight
That's polo style

Maybe tomorrow, You will **** with me
Untill tomorrow, I'll have to wait and see

I really feel *****, I hope there's something **** in the park
Under the moonlight, some loose women lurking in the dark
You see a car, there's a few people trying to make it
They try to squeeze, one by one right between her thighs
****** surprise

'Cause this thrilling, thrilling night
And no ones gonna stop me from ******* a good **** tonight
You know its thrilling, thrilling night
Your waiting for your turn inside a, slushy, ***** tonight, yeah

You hear a **** squelch, and realise
That someone's up her ***
You get your **** hard, and wonder if your ever getting some
You try to move, and hope that this is good fornication
And all the while, there's a fellow up her nice behind
Your watching him grind

'Cause this is thrilling, thrilling night
There's always second chances ******* the **** who's had forty *****.
(Thrilling, thrilling night)
Your still waiting for your turn inside a, cushy, ***** tonight

Nice features temp you, her **** on show and wet slits on parade
There's no escaping the jaws of her used **** this time.
(It's open wide)
This is the time for your ride

Your in her hot ****, you've finally got your ridged **** inside
filled with mens *** making it easier for your **** to slide
Now is the time, for you and I to **** each other together (yeah)
you've been ****** tonight, I don't really mind where other guys have been
I'm just to keen

This is thrilling, thrilling night
Cause I can fill you more than any fool could even if they try
(Thrilling, thrilling night)
So let me ******* right and share a sagging, *******, slagging, tagging, here tonight

'Cause this is thrilling, thrilling night
Girl, I can thrill you more than any fool could even if they try
(Thrilling, thrilling night)
I hope your **** is tight and share a slagging, *******

I hope it's thrilling tonight

Wankers cross the park land
Hoping she will lend a hand
They know she is to ****** good
She's been around the neighbourhood
And whoever she has ******
The blokes ***** she's also ******
And she don't care if the guys smell
She'll **** them and think what the hell

It's gonna be brill tonight
Ooh, baby
I'm gonna drill you tonight
Oh, darling
I'm gonna thrill you tonight
Ooh, baby
I'm gonna spill you tonight
Oh, darling
Thrilling night

The women's legs are in the air
The **** of forty ***** men
And grizzly blokes in her womb
Are plunging in when there is room
And though they like to **** away
There body's start to quiver
Cos none of them can resist
The ***** she'd deliver

Stick a **** in your socket
I've got a mattress in the van
Cause if you want a large'un
And you like a hard one
Then sister I'm your man

Cos when we both *** its pretty good for me
I'd love to *** again, I guess I'll have to wait and see
Your ***** the one that's driving me berserk
Why do only ***** and wankers work
La la lala la-la la la la la-lala la la la. . . .

Ive got a hard ***** thats nice
And I'll lick your lovley carpet slice
Easy deep squeeze when your on your ******* knees
*** games, whips chains, wosnames that you can push
Wear your rubber cat-suit
Makes you gush between your bush, bush, bush
Bush, bush, bush, bush, bush

I'll *** inside, it's agreed
on your back, it's guaranteed
Black or white, both I'll stroke
All ***** are nice to stoke

God bless ****** street
Come on spread your feet
I'll always be discrete
C'est magnifique **** your ****
Magnifique ***** treat,
Tastes so sweet,
**** my meat,
Feel the heat
In the backseat. . . .

Are you wanking in your stockings in the halls.
It's time that us guys **** and squeeze our *****
We will ride an ugly old old dear
It's their ***** we want to slay
We'd love to ******* silly for the day

[Chorus:]
So here it is merry **** time
Everybody show your ***,
look at our arseholes now
We really need to ***.

Are you waiting for the fat slags to arrive?
I'm sure their big ***** have plenty room inside
The old ***** always tell you
That their ***** are the best
And their ***** are better than the rest

[Chorus:]
So here it is, Merry **** time
Everybody show your ***
Look at our hairy *****
We really need to ***

Who are you going to do
When your mother has her bit of a *****
Oooh oo oooh oohh

Are you wanking in your stockings in the halls
We'll **** your old fat mother when she calls
We will **** her on the hillside
That's where she will get laid
We'll *** deep inside her
When her legs are splayed

[Chorus:]
So here it is. Merry **** time
Everybody show your ***
Look at our **** holes now
We really want to ***

So here it is, Merry **** time
Everybody show your ***
Look at *** holes now
We really need to ***

So here it is, Merry **** time
Everybody wants a ***
Take your knickers down
We always need to ***

So here it is, Merry **** time
Everybody wants a ***
(It's **** time!)
Get up her ******* now
We really need to ***

******-man, ******-man
Does whatever a ****** can
Wanks a **** any size,
He'll undo your trouser flies
Watch Out!
Here **** the ******-man.

Does he ***?
listen bud
When he **** its like a flood
he **** from his ***** head
Take a look at his bed
Hey, there
There goes the ******-man

When his suit is to tight
His bulge starts to slime
He wanks through the night
and spunks all the time

******-man, ******-man
Friendly neighborhood ******-man
**** and *****
He's ignored
Tossing is his reward
To him, life is a monkey spank up
Whenever there's **** up
You'll find the ******-man

When your trying to hook up and your told your not their type
I'm not quite sure what this means it's just pretentious tripe
I really do not understand what is everybody's gripe
The concept of a certain type its all contentious hype
What's the difference when your frisky and your sexually ripe
And all you want to do is get between that  furry stripe
Licking your moist *** bits, fingered with a rub and wipe
To achieve the height of ecstasy and excite your fleshy pipe.

If your logically minded then surely there's just two
Ones with inner **** holes, and cocky ones that *****
There is just men and women isn't this just true
It's a simple concept I thought that everybody knew
As far as I'm aware there's no one green or blue
But maybe if your on the ball then you'll be right on cue
Unless you're simple minded and you don't have ******* a clue
Or am I just not seeing it like that old Mr Magoo

Okay you could argue that some fellows like a ****
Or certain ladies prefer their *** underneath a girlie frock
Some people that swing both ways both sexes they don't block
And people who like old and mature this I would not mock.
Maybe you like sleek body's and your mind is in a lock
Or fat obese and overweight, an old fat saggy sock
Personally I go one way Like the hands on a straight clock
But I don't really see the difference this may come as a great shock

So next time someone fancy's you then just you stop and think
If you really want a **** then you give them a wink.
If you want a nice stiff one inside your **** mink
Open your legs apart and they'll **** the bit that's pink
If your into arses then that's the place they'll sink
Its really all the same when you release your ****** ink
So don't be single minded or you will probably stink
There's truly only two types, just don't be the weakest link

Ground floor: pulsators,
**** beads and penal briefs
****** and vibrators
Rubbers and **** sheaths.
Going up!..

First floor: Pheromones,
Gents blow up dolls
Whips, clamps, tassels, peephole bras
Crotchless ******* and body oils. Going up!..

Second floor: **** rings,
Adult films and ***** books
Edible knickers and realistic vaginas
Naked massage and Brothel.
Going down!..

Who do you want to be ******* Mr ******
We hope you like up the ***

We are the boys who will play an ******* game
We are the boys who will make you *** again

So why don't you come and **** us Mr ******
If your into ******* bums

Mr. Brown, he's in town he's only 21
He's bumming in the ally and he's ready with his ***

So come on Mr ******, you can stick your **** in us
If you want to *** us, get on the ******* bus

So please put your **** up our arses Mr ******
We really want it up our bums

Some people often ask me,
why am I so perverted?
Was there a point when things changed,
when I got converted.
I really don't remember,
was it the first time that I flirted?
Or was it when I saw a naked lady,
no knickers and un-skirted
Maybe it was when I had a ****,
when my *** first squirted
or was it the time of my first ****,
and had my **** inserted.
could it have been an ******,
when her **** sprayed and blurted
If its a combination then...
I don't want to be reverted

I believe most people have got the same *******
its from their own point of view just a different version
they've had similar experiences and gone through the same conversation
They would rather be stripped naked with a hard **** insertion
Unclothed and getting ****** a deep wet **** immersion
It is not an attack of character there is no forced incursion
Its just an observation without casting an aspersion
Just admit that you would rather be on a *** excursion
Instead of acting with disgust without making an aversion
So come and get your fannys out and have some **** dispersion
have more ***** than your used to without any more diversion
Once your in that frame of mind don't think of a reversion

So If a lady wanted *** I probably wouldn't stop her
Even if she was all la-de-da and oh so prim and proper
I'll drop my trousers and introduced her to my 9 inch chopper
And hopefully she would think it was a lovely whopper
Slipping her my shinny helmet like a pervy copper
I'd bounce up and down imagining I'm on a posh space hopper
I would love to squirt inside her **** an exploding party popper
she'd get on top and warm me up a tasty toasty topper
I would want us both to ***, I wouldn't want to *** a cropper
She can **** my ***** wonker an everlasting gob stopper
Then we'll do it all again just like a teeny bopper
And when we've finished I hope she'd be a happy shopper.

If this is what you have in mind it proves that your the same
All you're really doing is playing a socialistic game
Your just pretending to be innocent and so ****** tame.
Not admitting to ****** feelings to avoid any kind of blame
Stop acting so refined and prudish it's nothing proud to claim
You should just indulge yourself and don't be so ******* lame
So pull your **** ******* down, reignite your ****** flame
Just stick your fingers up your **** there is no sense of shame

You may be of the opinion it isn't everyone's normality
And **** and **** and ******* **** are the centre of depravity
I think that your just delusional about your own sexuality
and **** what's classed as morals I'm not talking of morality
If you think your less perverse then **** your own tenacity
Your capable of the same thoughts your mind has the capacity
****** acts always take place it's not a matter of mendacity
It's happening world over no matter what your nationality
You may dispute my state of mind no question of insanity
I would rather have a **** and ****, to me it's a formality
And licking a nice wet **** its not just my own mentality
Well **** it I don't care if you think its immoral Immorality

There always seems to be plenty ladies of the night
Some of them are black girls and some of them are white
A few of them will kiss you a few of them may bite
There are ones that **** you those ones are quite alright
All of them will ******* their ***** are not that tight
A lot are quite good looking but lots look ******* *****

All have well used *****'s but that's just what you'd expect
But it doesn't really matter as long as your *****
You may be into **** their ***** you don't neglect
A request to use a rubber their wishes you respect.
Enough cash is needed both holes you can inject
But the price for extra services is higher I suspect

You have to be quite wary there are some well used pro's.
They've been around for years, ***** worn from lots of goes
Their naked body's have been seen in lots of pervy shows.
Just how many ***** they've ******, no one really knows.
So many fellows gobbled off ***** ****** and ***** blows
Some are old and past it but their just ***** hoes

There was one such lady back in my home town.
Her salty ****** was waiting beneath her smelly gown
The guys that she's been ******* had a disconcerting frown
This is why that ugly ***** was always ****** facedown.
Deep inside her crusty **** their ***** would surely drown.
Especially now her **** juices have turned to a dark brown

Why **** a **** that's manky with such a smelly pong.
It isn't good if that filthy stench smells so ****** strong
Stupid fellows ****** that hole using their desperate ****
But Surely ******* that ugly hag must have been so wrong.
I guess it was a testament for her being a ***** so long
And that's why all the locals are singing her this song

And...
Ten-Bob-Annie
Had a manky *****
But still the wankers paid
She was an ugly ***,
Should have just said no
So desperate to get laid.
She didn't charge much,
For her smelly crotch.
It was definitely decayed.
Never used a rubber,
Just a ***** scrubber.
If your willing to downgrade.
She lived down Abbey road
Smells like a commode
A wonder anybody stayed.
Just so that you know,
Her name is Audrey stowe
And she didn't make the grade

When her grandchildren went to school they got teased and ragged.
Because of all the ***** men that Audrey ****** and shagged.
***** got stuck with stickiness some got caught and snagged
That ***** smelly **** of hers should be bound and gagged.
The usage needs preventing it could be sealed and bagged
OR her disgusting antics monitored and electronically tagged

Ten-Bob-Annie was painted on the wall above of Audrey's door
I don't know why she got so upset because it attracted more.
Stupid guys just wanting *** at least there where three or four
Take my advice and steer clear of that worn out ******* *****.
Her daughter Debbie was the same they'll make your shaft so sore
Those two infested well used ***** are nothing to adore

Now Audrey's daughter Debbie she was just as bad.
She ****** just as many men as her ***** mother had.
They wasn't really bothered they would have any lad
Just a couple of fat slags they'd even **** your dad.
But they never got there hands on me of that I was so glad
If I had even gone there well I would have been quite mad

In this life one thing counts
*** filled *****, large amounts
You've got to squeeze between their knees.
You've got to ****-a-***** or two.

You've got to ****-a-***** or two, boys
You've got to ****-a-***** or two.

[Boys]
Large amounts between the knees.
You've got to ****-a-***** or two.

(spoken)
Let me show you how it's done, shall we, my dears.

It is great on their backs
Better get up their cracks
Its good fun so nice to ***.
You've got to ****-a-***** or two.

You've got to ****-a-***** or two, boys
You've got to ****-a-***** or two.

[Boys]
on their backs and up their cracks
You've got to ****-a-***** or two.

(spoken)
Who says you have to do it that way?

In the hood take a look
All the girls like to ****
******* is fine, so try mine
You've got to ****-a-***** or two.

You've got to ****-a-***** or two, boys
You've got to ****-a-***** or two.

[Boys]
All the girls they like to ****
You've got to ****-a-***** or two.

You can strip who you like
Ride those girls like a bike
If their to tall, try someone small
You have to ****-a-***** or two.

You've got to ****-a-***** or two, boys
You've got to ****-a-***** or two.

[Boys]
We can ride them like a bike
If we ****-a-***** or two.

(spoken)
Don't Stop!

Dear old gal walking by
I think shes giving me the eye
If its not clear, take her up the rear
You've got to ****-an-******* or two.

You've got to ****-an-******* or two, boys
You've got to ****-an-******* or two.

[Boys]
If it's not clear, **** the rear
Get in and ****-an-areshole or two.

When I see some fat *****,
Both my ***** start to twitch
If I grind, hope she don't mind
I've got to ****-a-***** or two.

You've got to ****-a-***** or two, boys
You've got to ****-a-***** or two.

[Boys]
If you grind, hope she don't mind.

We have to have-a-***** or two...

It is really ******
When you don't get any *****
Especially when there's plenty
Some big and
Some small
With some imaginations,
The is no limitations.
You'll be pretty lucky if you get any at all.

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Where's all the hoes
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Nobody knows...

They may impose if your member grows
They will go...oom-pah-pah!!

If you've had the odd glass
You'll end up in the long grass
Hopefully with a nice gal but you'll just have to see.
Secretly you'd try it,
And **** her on the quiet,
And If she was a fat girl,
Then that's what she'd be.

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
It really shows
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
What may transpose...

Where's he been putting his red ended hose?
Maybe it's...oom-pah-pah!?

There's a girl called Sally
Who's waiting in the valley,
Flashing her pink love hole to all of the men.
They can see her **** *****,
Those tasty little fish traps,
she would want a few men, at least nine or ten

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Everyone goes.
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Queuing in rows...

Whether she's dressed, or not wearing clothes --
They'll all get...oom-pah-pah!

She had a very wet ****,
Now she's on another a **** hunt.
She's let the fellows ***** up, and *** along.
It was so good trying
With so much ***** flying
She's glad to get their ***** in
And she's still going strong.

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Her **** always flows
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
She's one of the pro's...

She used to be such a sweet blushing rose
Until she had...oom-pah-pah!

It was such a pity
When she moved to the city
Especially when she's ****** men
Some short and
Some tall
She's had her temptations
With all the variations,
When she's in the country she's having a ball

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
There's highs and there's lows.
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
It's how the wind Blows

They all propose to her naked expose
When they want...oom-pah-pah!

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
She wares pretty bows
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
On her naked toes.

They all suppose its her lucky pose
When she's had...oom-pah-pah!!

Oom-pah-pah!

Prostitutes charge six pence,
just to show a bit of thigh
20 *** starved black birds,
offering their **** pie.

When there legs are open
More money you should bring.
They will give you *****,
That's fit for a king.

The king was in the ***** house,
Spending all his money.
Hoping if he gives them more,
He will get more honey.

The maidens show their gardens,
When taking of their clothes.
licking their wet *****'s,
*** dripping down your nose.

The Madame's in the parlour,
Looking after all the girls.
Half of them are busy,
When they **** the Earls

There was a commotion,
When there was only ten.
That they wouldn't get any,
more wealthy paying men.

This old man, he touched one as soon as he did they where gone.
With a **** shat ***** whack gave the man a bone this old man went walking home.

This old man, he hugged two they hit the ****** with a shoe.
With a **** shat ***** whack gave the man a bone this old man went hobbling home.

This old man, he kissed three he brushed his ***** on their knee.
With a **** shat ***** whack gave the man a bone this old man went strolling home.

This old men, he fingered four
He would have fingered a whole lot more.
With a **** shat ***** whack gave the man a bone this old man went running home.

This old man, he licked five he really wanted to **** dive.
With a **** shat ***** whack gave the man a bone this old man went crawling home.

This old man, he ****** six he ****** on all those fellows *****.
With a **** shat ***** whack gave the man a bone this old man went drooling home.

This old man, he bummed seven that gay ******* was in **** heaven.
With a **** shat ***** whack gave the man a bone this old man went driving home.

This old man, he wanked eight he chocked their chickens it was great.
With a **** shat ***** whack gave the man a bone this old man got the bus home.

This old man, he ****** nine both men and women the ***** swine.
With a **** shat ***** whack gave the man a bone this old man took a taxi home.

This old man he ****** ten soaked their ***** so he did it again.
With a **** shat ***** whack gave the man a bone this old man never went home.

the farmer always smells
he's always drinking bells
hi ** the derelict
the farmer always smells

the farmer ****** his wife
it was the **** of his life
hi ** the ***** ****
the farmer ****** his wife

the wife ****** the help
she made the butler yelp
hi ** it must be good
the wife ****** the help

the butler shagged the nurse
it was the butlers curse
hi ** the nurse was old
the butler ****** the nurse

the nurse shagged the horse
he had a big **** of course
hi ** her **** was wide
the nurse shagged the horse

the horse it had the cow
I'm not quite sure how
hi ** nice udders
the horse had a cow

the cow it had the dog
it was a real hard slog
hi ** the stupid cow
the cow had the dog

the dog ******* the cat
it had a tiny ****
hi ** the ***** was nice
the dog ******* the cat

the cat ******* the mouse
it ran inside the house
hi ** the mouse was ******
the cat ******* the mouse

the mouse was covered in cheese
out of the cat it was a squeeze
hi ** all ****** on
the mouse was covered in cheese

the cheese was on their *****
that stuff really sticks
hi ** everyone was spunked
the cheese was on their *****

Lets have a good time for a while, dear,
It will make us both smile, dear,
with your legs apart.
Keep those legs wide, while I get inside you and we'll both feel each other's heart.

We'll *** again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll *** again
One *** filled day.

Keep ******* through
It's what you usually do
'Till your used and full and
Your *****'s flowing away

And I will go down below
To the **** that I know
I'll lick it out it wont take long.
******* all the guys that you know,
But I'll still have a go,
Even if it may seem wrong

We'll **** again
don't know where
not sure when
but I know we'll **** again
And we'll have it away.

And I hope that you know
If you wanted to blow
that I would help you along.
I'll be happy you know.
That your having a go
At ******* on my ****.

We'll *** again
Not sure where
Not sure when
But I know we'll **** again
One **** day

Now here's a ****** story.
I'll tell it if I must.
About an effing ******
A **** with a cheesy crust
Some people have got nice wives
in their eyes a glint
But my old mans misses
Is just an awful ****

My old man's a ******.
He wanks in his ******* hat.
He's got **** stained trousers.
Cos he cant get no ******* ****.

He plays with his banana
While wearing high healed boots
He tried to pull up his small ****
So he yanked it by the roots

Some girls flash their **** at Christmas
Which makes the ****** cough
And when he tries to pick them up
They tell him to *******.
Now one father he got angry.
For squeezing the girls buts
Don't ever dare come back round here
And kicked my old man in the nuts.

Oh, my old man's a ******
He tosses on the mat
He doesn't wear no trousers
When he's trying to **** the cat

my old man's a wrinkly codger.
He's just to ******* old.
Mum wore him out in their younger days
Now he's toothless and he's bald.
Now she's just a fat cow way past her ******* prime.
That's why my old man has ended up wanking all the time.

Oh, my old man's a ***** ******
He groped our friend next door
He pulled down her knickers
Even though she's 84'

Now one day when he saw her
He kissed her by the bin
He hadn't got all that far when she kicked him in the shin.
When her husband came home he shouted "What's your ******* game"
My old man just grabbed his **** and told him " I'll treat you just the same"

Oh, my old man's a gay ****
He touched our neighbours ****
He peeled away his *******
And gave it a good lick

He ****** on our neighbours **** one day it felt so ****** good.
His misses sat there watching But I knew she ******* would
Just from out of nowhere she said " Don't you make him ***"
My old man said "why not" she said "I want to watch you **** my husband's ***"

Oh, my old man's had *******
He ****** the guy next door
His wife was there watching
While he ****** him on the floor

So Next time you see my old man
Looking all pale and spent
Don't you get to close to him
Because he is old and definitely bent

Being a Tampax might be fun stuffed up a **** all day
It may not be that creamy but a bit of reds okay
If you're on your monthly you haven't got much say
At least you wouldn't have someone's ***** getting in the way

White and fluffy I would be soft upon my *******
I would start expanding when you begin your *******
Forcing me to press on your sides much to your frustration.
Because you would be on the blob causing my inflation.

You would probably be upset with that ****** infestation
It may not be much fun for you, the lack of stimulation
If your *****'s full of jam there could be a consolation
Strawberry juice is soaking up not much chance of impregnation

Maybe you could see things from the tampons point of view
It's the only time they get chance to have a **** good *****.
They can't wait to fly of the shelves and go inside of you.
Hurry up that time of month you know what you must do.

But there's definitely a downside to being a jam rag
Even though you'd be up a **** longer than a ****
Like the red and white menstrual show, or a red tipped ***
You'd get too wet and taken out, a used up ***** gag
Mid period you'd get replaced that is the biggest snag
You would smell and get thrown away in a sanitary bag

Juicy goosey gander where shall my hands wander?
up skirts and down shirts and in a ladies chamber.
Many a fair maiden nakedness they'd ponder.
Some with dark ***** hair, some where light and blonder.
Men that they have taken some weak and some much stronger.
And young and agile ridged men those ones would last much longer.

There I saw some old men waiting for their shares
Pulling on their plonkers in their *** strained flairs.
Looking at the naked maidens sitting in their chairs.
Some of them flat chested and some with quite nice pairs.
Some young and beautiful and some of them old mares.
I'm sure that you'd get lucky by showing them your wares.
You can be the chosen one If you can say your prayers
and they'll take you by the middle leg and pull you up the stairs.

Hush you ******* your just a ****.
Mama's going to bring you a big fat bird.

And If that big fat bird is a hag.
Mama's going give you her ring to ****.

And if that tight rings nice to ****
Mama's going to give you her **** to ****

And if those ******* start to choke
Mama's going to give you her **** to stroke.

And if that hot **** is bald as brass
Mama's going to let you lick her ****.

And if that pert **** gets to wet
Mama's going ******* and make you sweat.

And if you *** and sweat to much.
Mama's going to let you sniff her crotch.

And if that warm crouch is to full.
Mama's going get your **** to pull.

And if that **** pull makes you smile.
Mama's going to **** it *******.

And if ******* is so good
Mama's going **** on your manhood.

And if your manhood should go down
Your still the Dirtiest ****** in this town

So hush you ******* don't you cry.
I can always get that fat bird for you to try

Old king Cole was an unpleasant soul.
And a ******* ******* was he.
He fiddled with his pipe until it was ripe.
And he went on a fiddling spree.

Receiving a left hook, when he fiddled with the cook,
she said "your not getting it from me".
wanting to get laid, he tried it with the maid,
in his ******* she did knee.

No cash for a *****, showing him the door,
because he wanted it for free.
Down on his luck, cos He couldn't get a ****,
so he ****** the trunk of a tree.

Old king Cole was a miserable old sole
who ****** an Infested tree.
Dutch Elm Diseased ****, Well what a ******* *****.
so a poxy ****** he will always be.

Little miss muffet sat on a tuffet up her *** hole all day.
Along came a spider, put two legs inside her.
Because he wanted a roll in the hay.
Little miss muffet, told the spider to **** it and to have his wicked way.
She spread her legs wide with a matter of pride.
And the spider had a ******* good lay

Jack and Jill went up the hill to release Jack's ***** water.
Jack went down, under Jill's gown and Jill came not long after.

Up jack got and home he trot, Jill screaming he had ***** her.
sat on his bed,  tears he did shed.
wiping his **** on kitchen paper

Jack sat weeping and upset with his spirit broken
And as Jack cried, because Jill had lied
The door it flung wide open

In she come, it was Jill's mum, who fancied a good ****.
Sat on Jack's ****, like an old sock nothing but a wrinkled hag.

Jill came in and with a grin she took the *** stained rag
And as Jill smiled, she was riled
And threw it at the ******* ****.

Jill's mum got up, off Jack's **** and slapped Jill in the chops.
Jack phoned the law, called Jill a *****.  
And they where taken away by the cops

OH The Grand Old Duke of York he had ten thousand men.
He ****** them all up the **** then he ****** them all again.
And when he was up, he would ****.
And when he was down, out of luck.
And when he was only half way up, his men would have to ****.

I'd like something **** tonight.
So how about some angel delight?
If you get undressed.
cos your naked is best.
I hope your knickers are loose and not tight.
When you do that, I'll stroke your wet cat, and when my ***** at its height.
I'll slip it inside and go in and out, we'll cream a few times before it gets light.
So if you want a good time I'll come round tonight and you can show me your ***.
I'll give you a kiss and a bit of a feel and I'll even have a go with your mum.
And we'll get naked and  both get wet and have some ****** fun.
And hopefully when the end comes, you will have a hot hole, full of creamy wet ***.

What I would not do With a 30 stone fat lass
She'd have big bouncing **** and a ******* ******* ***
Sniffing round her *** crack and her flabby knicker stash
Lapping at her bucket **** her hot wet sweaty ****
******* up her *******, two in her creamy mash
If your not sure where that is, its where she takes a slash

When I pull her knickers off like tents without the poles
then I will have access to her ***** ******* holes
and when I'm up inside her Between those fatty rolls
I'd release those mammoth mounds out of their Playtex Bowls

When it comes to fatty ***** your in for a BIG surprise
There's plenty to grab onto when you squeeze those hippo thighs
It is so delightful you just won't believe your eye's
Cos when you **** a fat girl there's more room for compromise

And While I'm riding on the waves of her belly ripples
Her fleshy thighs around me, surrounding fat that triples
She'd wrap me in her tree trunk legs while I **** her strawberry *******
And she can have a go on top of me even if it cripples

Once her juice is flowing Her **** I'd like to pound
But I would do it ******* just like a rampant hound
Her ***** slapping together her stomach resting on the ground.
And I'd enjoy squeezing her fat bits while ******* that huge mound

I suppose It would be like bonking a king size waterbed
when I finished up her **** I'll **** her **** instead
After I have spunked up and my pencils out of led
I'll stick my fish stained rod in her mouth and she can **** my fishy head

It doesn't matter how fat she is it really isn't valid
Or if she isn't all that healthy, pale faced and a bit pallid
it's probably due to fatty foods and not much in the way of a salad
But after all so ****** what this is a fat woman's ballad

Just because she may not be thin and you may laugh and smirk
Your obviously a closed minded pre- programed Pox doctors clerk
Because I'd rather **** a fat girl than have a **** or ****
So what's the difference how big you are as long as your rude bits work

So if your big and fat, obese or overweight
Let us get together I'm sure it will be great
If you want *** give me a call and we can make a date
come on get your knickers off no matter if its late

And when your sat there naked with your **** upon my middle digit
Knelt in the floor beside you ready with my ridged widget
I hope your not uncomfortable and you don't begin to fidget
Well never mind, its okay I can always **** a **** little ******

Do You Like Bananas?
I Guess It Depends What Kind.
Maybe Its The Ones You Unzip
Who Knows What You May Find?
And Some that are More Interesting
The Ones That Bump And Grind.
Those Ones Are More Revealing When Peeling Back The Rind.
Many A Tossed Salad
Some Fruity and Some Bland.
Some That Are More Juicy
The Best Are Big And Grand
New Members At A Nudist Beach
Those Tossing In The Sand.
And Lots Of Lonely Minions
With Their Bananas In Their Hand.
So Do You Like Bananas?
Its Really Up To You.
It All Depends On What You Like
And What You Want To Do?
And If Your Bananas Ridged
And The Fruit Has Not Turned Blue.
Well, Well, Well The Main Thing Is,
Is When Or Where Or Who?

Never mind watching your P's and ****** Q's.
There are far more obscenities that anyone can use.
Worse letters than Q or P not meaning to confuse.
Many different meanings something you'll have to choose.
So choose your letters wisely there's some you can reuse
And some that are used for insults or a form of abuse
But it doesn't really bother me so I ain't making an excuse
Just use the ones that come to mind and you cannot ******* lose

So you can **** my big fat 'B's' and I can **** yours too
Fingers up my ******* 'A' something we can both do
I will lick your lovley 'C' and mine is like bamboo
Or maybe its a 'D' in my pocket or is it a canoe
If you squeeze on my two 'N's' similar to cashew
Then i will **** your Salty 'S' or the other avenue
And eat all of that juicy 'J' like a **** barbeque
Making all your 'H's' wet so both can get a *****
Allowing me to enter and 'F' you through and through
Slipping in my big hot 'R' deep inside a fishy stew
******* on your succulent 'T's' but none of them are Blue
Not talking of our feathered friends because that's a different crew
And neither is it other birds not parrots or cuckoos
Its a mound of fleshy 'M's' glands that I would chew
So stick your effing Protocols just stuff them down loo
Use the letters that you wish its your own point of view
Once the eggshells are broken its nothing to undo
And **** all that ******-ness don't watch your 'P's' and 'Q's'

I want to meet a lady and to get my **** well shown
Instead of being a ****** and tossing on my own.
With her lips around my shaft to make me ******* moan.
******* on my bell end like a dog with a big bone.
Polishing my helmet to a shiny glossy tone.
So come on girls fat or thin even glass gets blown.
Even if its an older lass or any big fat slags
An old lady with a trolley or one with shopping bags.
A huge woman with hippo thighs a fat **** that ******* drags.
Big juicy melons to **** on like two large fleshy gags
an ugly toothless ***** or any old *** hags
So lets be fair and **** like ***** even smokers get the shags.
even if your homeless then we can surely meet.
And you have smelly clothing your in for a good treat.
I will get my **** out so you can ******* meat.
I'll ******* in an alleyway so we can be discrete.
I will *** inside your **** so you will feel the heat.
But It really comes something when you can have a *** out in the street.
If you want a bit of sparkle then its your **** i will sup.
And your *** is good then we'll definitely Hookup.
I'll release your big ***** from there double D size Cup
Licking on your cherrys just like a little pup.
I'll **** them like a lolly pop a sweet chuppa chupp.
If you want to have ******* then we'll have a 7up.

He's Lying in a fruit box in a grocers car
Swinging with Granny Smith, stuffed his own Grandma
Rolled up at the Angry Veg, went in for a jar
After crumbling granny, a lovely pair behind the bar
A randy sort of fellow, he wants to go quite far
Things where looking up, a nice pair without a Bra

Ready to get his leaves off, his pips he wants to sew
A randy kind of apple, knowing how far he wants to go
Hoping that the nice pair is a ***** kind of ***
After he is turned on, his juice will surely flow

He is such a ***** **** the fruits he liked to blow
If he's making it with Gin, he'll **** them really sloe
Peeling back his outer skin, his nakedness will show
Once her juice is flowing, that pair will start to glow
Seeing everything he's got, but no one needs to know
She'll be pulling more than pints, his *** will slowly grow

******* on a nice pair for him it is nutritious
She has her reservations because he's too ambitious
And as he gets her peel off she becomes suspicious
That he's had a *******, with ripe golden delicious

But by now it is to late for that **** pair
He has her in his power pined her to the chair
Such a ***** ******* but he has that certain flair
For getting fruity with the fruits, especially when their bare

What a swanky fellow he always plays the field
Once he gets his wicked way, nothing is concealed
He loves fruity juiciness, their succulence is revealed
Only when their both undressed and their skins are peeled
For that pair he's got her, so she has will have to yield
Once he gets inside her then she knows her fate is sealed

His hands are all over her just like a hairy spider
As his *** gets bigger spreading her legs wider
She's under his control, so he will be her rider
Ramming his *** between her leafs a juicy slippy slider
Making all their juices flow to make barrels of sweet cider
He will have to squeeze her first when he begins to ride her

After he has finished and now that she is spent
Juices have been squeezed out, leaves are torn and bent
He's had his ******* pleasure his *** that he has lent
All he wanted was a good ****, nothing was really meant
Now that he has had her, he hasn't made a dent
On many different types of fruit, he has that fruity scent
All he ever wants to do, is have them in a box or tent
**** them fast and **** them slow, until they all ferment

So that's the story of Big Apple *** who is fine and dandy
He is such a ***** fellow it's no wonder he's called Randy
**** fruit he fancies, he wants all different types of candy
He likes the young and succulent type but their not always handy
So he'll settle for old Granny smith or if not a hand shandy
And if he cannot get a ****, he'll drink a glass of brandy

Its another blooming birthday and things are still the same
For my birthday wishes I would like a ****** game
I don't mean just a quickie nothing so ****** lame
When I blow my candles out my wishes wont be tame

Just for once it would be nice to lap a hot wet slot
Between a pair of girly legs and getting oh so hot
I would get all naked and show you what I've got
With my erected 9 Inch I'll give you the whole lot

Lapping up her juices with my fingers up her ***
As I get more turned on I will **** my loaded Gun
The chambers fully loaded full up with my creamy ***.
And I cant wait to fire it up inside a ladies Bun

But I suppose it will be just like any other day
And I wont have a **** time, no ***** wants to play
So I'll just keep on dreaming of those ladies in the hay
I'll have to have a **** instead for my own birthday

Maybe for my birthday now that I am forty three
I think you know what I would like and the place I want to be
Undressed with a lady, but I will have to wait and see.
I'll keep wishing for a **** time but hay baby that's just me

The creation of a ginger man who's name is ginger fred  
Such a ***** ******* when he had tarts in his bed
Those tarts where all so fruity they made his chocolate lead
His icing went all runny as they ****** his ginger bread

He would pop the cherry's and the strawberries he would ****
The blackcurrants we're okay they're still quite good to ****
He'd watch two lemons licking and pay them each a buck
Having all those tasty tarts he could not believe his luck

If he ends up in a jam you know what he's been licking
All those ******* jam filled tarts is the place his gingers sticking
So if you see a ginger man with all his buttons missing
You can bet your bottom dollar it's tarts that he's been kissing

One **** is just not enough his antics he'd be tripping
He would have a complete box even if it was crippling
With his ginger crumbling and his melting chocolate rippling
Some jam tarts are exceedingly good so **** you Mr Kipling

Being called a ****** is something I don’t mind
In fact it's really okay and it's rather kind
I don't think it is offensive or even a sick joke
What’s a man supposed to do without a **** to poke
Okay he could stick his **** between two bits of Spam
But he really needs a hot moist **** to be a real man
If her *****'s on the blob he could settle for an ****
The ******* of both these holes simply is pure class

There are guys who prefer a **** and like a manly ***
A tighter hole maybe prefered to make those fellows ***
To **** a bloke if you're straight is an equivalent to a slum
Or even a taboo ****** act like ******* your own mum.

Manly ***** and dangly parts are really not for me
I don't bend to hairy **** it's not where I would be
Girly ***** and smoother bums is what I want to see
I'd rather **** my own **** than **** a guys jacksy

Pulling a huge Horses Plonker only fools like Rodney Trotter
Or Blind Wizards with broken glasses like Harry ******* Potter
Don't **** on your **** to hard you may just *** a cropper
Especially if you ***** up in a helmet belonging to a copper.

I would never bash the bishop what would the churches say
To find me with a spunky hat and that their faiths turned gay
We don't want ***** clergymen who **** on the silver tray
Vicars ******* choir boys keep those cassock fanciers at bay

I would'nt choke the chicken because I don't think I could
But the staff at Kentucky Fried Chicken they probably would.
They would lick your ***** up because its finger licking good.
And use their special wipe up towel to clean up your manhood.
With its lemon fragrance you will have good smelling wood.
Around your shaft and helmet and beneath your ******* hood.

Would I ever yank my plank like the pirates of the seas
The extention of my log when I'm on my ******* knees
My hand around my fishing rod and giving it a squeeze
Using a hand action to squeeze out my cream cheese
*** is flowing down my shaft like honey from the bees
I'll keep pumping on my rod and creaming in the breeze

Have you ever seen those fellows praying down at the synagogue ?
From their own expressions they've been flogging their own log
Take a look at their robes the bottom stained with their eggnog
Either that or they have been ******* some old scruffy dog
I don't think that they bothered their heads are in a fog
With all that ******* worship they would **** a big fat hog

So I'm slowly warming to it but maybe when I'm ******
And I can't get no ***** and its the last thing on my list
I may take myself in hand my **** clutched in my fist
Then I may consider having a swift one of the wrist
If you end up watching then please excuse the mist
I'll carry on with the hope that my **** gets kissed

Because Wanking is an activity that in all honesty all men do
Something that comes to hand when you can't get a good *****
When your **** gets harder and we think of god knows who
We grab our piece of man meat and imagine that *** stew

I'll  have to keep on wanking I can never get enough
Off all that lovely ***** because finding it is tough
Nothing is more satisfying than diving in the ****
Legs open wide will always be something I will stuff
Instead of wanking I would rather stick it up your chuff
But I'll probably end up looking  a bit scraggy and ruff

So I will keep on going until my **** is old and worn
With all that ******* wanking whenever I get the horn
Popping my sweet cornels just like children of the corn
Watching ****'s and ******* or granny ******* ****

There Is A Famous Detective Who Lives On Baker Street
He Is The Only Detective That You’ll Ever Need To Meet
Solving The Case Of The Ferocious Baskervillain Hound
On The Moors Near Baskerville Hall The Curse Kept Underground
He Looked Into A Portrait The Clues Where In His Eyes
What He Saw Looking Back At Him Came As No Surprise
Piecing Together The Evidence Like Only His Mind Can
He Deduced That Stapleton Was The Culprit And Their Man
So At Last Our Henry Was Free Of The Baskervillian Curse
How Did He Solve The Mystery Elementary Of Course

Earlier time's my younger days when I was about sixteen
Awareness of the fairer *** when I was sexually keen
**** time's that I did crave why were the girls so mean
When it came to getting ****** my **** was never seen
I thought about their naked ***** whether fat or lean
Activities in **** arts who cares where thier **** had been

If you get your ******* off making sure your **** is bare
Bending over the bed with your cheeks up in the air
Or knelt upon the sofa with my fingers through your hair
I will stuff my hotdog up inside your Derryair

Too many benders coming out and lots of ugly lags
Never enough willing girls and I could never find no slags
There wasn't any nice girls just ******* ***** bags
All I could attract we're bendy boys and horrible *** hags

Getting blow jobs really ****** my **** was never blown
Lots of *****'s I would poke but none of them were shown
I didn't get no ***** and my seeds were never sown
Just left pulling on my plonker and wanking on my own

I could have had a ******* from all of those Gay boys
Or offered ******* ******* from dried up hobbledy hoys
But I didn't want a crap **** or play with those boys toys
So I never got to **** to much or make that **** noise

Now I am mid forties and I want the same thing now
I still want to stick my **** in some nice meow.
There's only skanky sourpuss or some old stupid cow
I am still in the same boat I have nothing to plough

I still want some nice ***** I'm still in that same phase
Lots of naked ladies ****** in lots of different ways
I'll have to keep on searching until to my dying days
The line is drawn at hobbledy hoys and most definitely gays

I hate being in rotherham I just don't like it anymore.
simply living in this town it is such a bore.
Most of the people in it are rotten to the Core.
And daily life is terrible it is just a chore.
At first I thought that it was great many years ago.
But I wasn't aware of the nastyness how was I to know.
Now all I do is get upset and I just want to go.
People that where friendly once are bent just like a bow.
If you put your trust in them and open up your soul.
They'll pretend to like you but their hearts as black as coal
When your no longer useful they'll chuck you in a hole
Thier true colours are revealed they Treat you like a troll  
So if your thinking of coming here its really up to you.
But do not stop here too long or you'll not know whos who.
With people being nasty that's what most of them want to do.
Pretending to be nice your mind is what they *****.
And people being heartless and their heart is made of stone.
Even when you have been nice they alter their good tone
Their attitude just changes and curved just like a cone.
People being horrible it hurts right to the bone.
So speaking from experience its not the place to be.
Because people who where nice once are now nasty towards me.
I wouldn't really bother some people just take the ***.
With all the nasty people there's nothing to ******* see.

Id love a big fat ****
Or a wrinkled up *******
An ugly looking hag
Who wants a ******* ****

If I had a big fat *****, with a big fat bucket
I'd lay between her fleshy thighs, and definitely **** it
My thrusting **** inside her ****, is where I'd like to tuck it
Spunking up would be sublime, when I lick and **** it

When your about to **** the fat, it takes a certain knack
Stuffed up fishy **** *****, or **** ******* round the back
A nice piece of chunky ****, with a big long sweaty crack
Fatty *** holes make you hard ,my **** would not be slack

I would ride a big large Gal, just like a waterbed
Bathroom ******* would be fun, as well as in the shed
Spunking up between her legs, cream cheese would then be spread
When both holes are full of ***, she can **** my **** instead

And after I have finished, with all of those fat *******
Something different I would want, maybe some old wrinkled witches
All wearing apple gatherers, and big large ******* britches
Older ***** long overdue, scratching long lost itches

A lot of fun I could have, in an old folks place
Disrobed willing grannies *****, stuffed right in my face
At least eight bits of gristle ******, a display of my disgrace
With each granny ****** in turn, if they can stand the pace

As I lift their skirts up their knickers I would sniff
I'm hoping that old fannies good, and they don't smell or whiff
The smell of old used granny ****, is probably just a myth
But I won't let it bother me, as long as I get stiff

I wouldn't even care, if they wore crap NHS glasses
As long as I could **** and ***, inside there wrinkled arses
I would **** them old ****** , all from different classes
Some of them in wheelchairs and some with heart bypasses.

It's irrelevant how fat you are, I really do not mind
As long as you are willing, and your *****'s wet and kind
And if you like it up the ****, then I'm that way inclined
******* ***** is quite fine, so is ******* from behind

So come on girls fat or old, all slags are a possibility
Your sexuality can flood out, there's no need for negativity
I'm willing to **** who comes along, to the best of my ability
Just make sure that I stay stiff, and maintain my agility