Lets Just pretend that I Am Not there or here
the two of you.
and him.
The Perfect tones.
Hate,
Rejection,
Pure Disapointment -
Rehearsed so perfectly
you discuss the topic:
It is me.
Hanging on to my emotion by holding every ounce of air in my lungs so i can listen more clearly;
You say:
I am Hostile. Cold. Miserable. Self Centered. irresponsible. Disrespectful. Terrible.

THEY mention I was born into the WRONG family.
I am a thief.
I am a Liar.

You agree.
I stumble around, shaking my head frantically.
I KNOW that is not me.
I continue to listen - As If they DO NOT have any idea I am holding my heart as it is dropping.

let it.
make it'
who am i to fake it
all of it is so surreal
you and me.
go together,

like a dimond in the gutter

to feel what i do
is to count every grain of sand

known to man

to think the way i do
is to count every constallation in the vast dark skY

To respect my different theorys and beliefs, as a person rather than some outsider

makes me content
for
you make me feel as if everything in my worlds alright

A fret a frown
A cold set of souls
Five. If I wanted to be specific
A prayer a wish
a sink with everything but a clean dish
Your nonsense rules
The hate You all Preject-
So Far from wrong
So hateful beyond anyones worse dreams
Creaky disgust stained wood floors-
Unprotective walls -
Soundproof Is NOt existant
I hear what you all say
So Far from wrong

Broken Hinges
Encouragement so unsuccessful
It Lingers in all the corners -
God. This F A M I L Y
I promise you, IT is anything but That
I Am their Doormat -

So far From Wrong,
Every Second spent in this house
every breathe taken in this house
was a second too long
and is a gasp for air

Even a Bulldoser couldnt fix this .
Nothing In the world could ever
Make this family right.

Its the same old feeling
I cant help but feel
I am beginning to become
OBviously quite CLEARLY aware -
Shaking my head at how ever so OBlivious I was .

To how deceitful
How misleading
ANd how amazing
You just really are.
ITs an art form
A trickery of the trades.
One I am so sure to be passed on
from generation to generation
In YOUR coniving blood line.

I became a helpless victim
Convincing me what we had -
What we presently have
and what our ever so pretty future
should be filled with

YOu called it  love-
However, LOve should not be
cold
miserable
and tension filled

L O V E so spaced out
It will never come together
it will never be
what it should
You are the boy of the past
A figment of my once toxic filled dreams.

That is ex actly what you are to me.

Two choices. Two Roads
Stay Or GO
Failure Or Opportunity
IT is Unknown
I dont Create Fate
I certainly do not predict failure

IF I only I was a psychic of the future.

IF I stay-
MY unsuburban thrilled life might just be blessed with the simpleness that you bring -
But that is just Part time
However
If I GO-
MY life will be unknown, exciting and destined for failure or blessed for success - Perhaps it is the road less traveled that I should travel by

Potentially
I am beginning to see
The Man
You just might be
Maybe
As I begin to learn
Your Oh so Simple
Current Self
Is Just
A Mask
TO HIDE
The Past
BUT
If that Is so
I WONT
runaway
or
letgo
Ill Simply
Stay
Day By Day-
Ill UNDERSTAND
Grasp The truth,

Soak it In,

Simmer In The You I never knew -
And treasure every second
of the man you are today .