but i'm not 'okay' enough to ask

there are beautiful people
those who are easy on the eyes
for a moment we all fall in love
for that single eye contact we are all happy sailors
over the moon and the stars

yet they never last too long
just that forever of a second

there are kind people
those who give everything and more for the sake of others
who share when they are starving
who smile when their world has fallen apart

yet they are abused
people take advantage of them and stomp on their fragile hearts
and leave them broken

there are brave people
standing for justice, for law, for happiness
they perish everything

yet they are dead
the cause they have lived for only turns
into the ashes and dust
cadaver 6ft underground

there are dreamers
they say but never do
they think but never reach

they live and die content
unknown geniuses the world has missed

the world is cruel
yet the beauty, kindness, bravery, and genius still do exist
yes they do

the only problem is that these qualities
are poisoned by the very human nature that longs for them to exist

I touch you all of the time
hoping maybe one day it'll feel
like something more than not him
Because I'm numb to every hand
that isn't attached to his wrist
I wanna love you, I do
But I'm sick
Jaded like an illness
That eerie frustration when your voice
distorts itself in my mind;
Melts into the rhythm and tone of his
& all I can hear are all of the things that he's said
And just like that you are gone
Swallowed by a sea of lingering memories
Like a shadow over everything
I'm looking but I don't see you
I wanna love you, I do
But I'm not falling for you
I'm just searching for a glimpse of him
in the glimmer of your patient eyes

There is a steel cage that holds my insides
No one goes through
No one comes out

I am completely in love
and I cannot get myself out of love.

It is like I am swimming in a pool of Jell-O,
floating, no effort,
but stuck, never moving,
forever and ever and ever.

This house doesn't need ghosts to scare anyone
The walls take sanity for fun
They'll hex you with whispers in tongue
Arrive with confidence - leave with none
The longer you stay, the further undone
The air stifles, it thickens and numbs
It weighs down on you like tons
Constricting every cell, it stuns
Skeletons in these closets tote guns
Heat comes at you like fire from the mouth of dragons
I mean heat like blaze of a million suns
All the while, your mind weakens and maddens
This house kills souls like it's a soul assassin
A suffering only the wicked can fathom

sad brown eyes
should feel beautiful
again