i look at that girl and i wonder what she is thinking.

i wonder if she is happy,
or if she ever will be happy,
or if happiness is even a plausible thing anymore.

she doesn’t seem unhappy,
but even appearances can’t be trusted these days.

i search for clues in her darting eyes,
and her fidgeting hands,
and her eyebrows;
furrowing and unfurrowing incessantly
as if she can’t make up her own mind herself.

looking at that girl,
i can not even seem to realize that she is me.

We are
            moved
by the
lives of others
We are
             affected
by things that aren't
happening to us
We
        feel
emotions
we didn't
conjure
Our pain is
doubled,
tripled
&         intensified
Through the constant stream of
E m p a t h y
S y m p a t h y
Agony
But
without
it
there is no
                    love
And
without
                            love
what a
b o r i n g
u n f o r g i v i n g
world
we'd
exist
in
Drifting
                   lazily~
through our own
self pitty
Realizing
only
the
wetness
of the
rain
And
not giving a care
to the
                  life
it creates
Yellow roses
And tall willow trees

You are the rain in my heart
You fall with fear from your sky
I catch you gently on my tongue
You give life to my existence
**I need you to grow
You need me to matter

Bound and shackled, I suffered.
Even small adjustments were impossible.
My life consisted only of confinement.

My hands were bound by neglect stronger than I could fight.
The chains at my feet were made with links strengthened by hate.
My mouth was gagged with lies of worthlessness.

Blinded by fears and doubts I decided:
My life, full of suffering, was not one I wanted to live.
I pulled and fought my restraints until I bled.

Crumpled on the ground I knew it was time.
It was time to end my confined suffering.
I would rather face death than the pain of life.

With a new resolve settled the door to my cell opened.
In walked a man that did not cause me to react in fear.
He sat next to me, in the dirt and filth, and said nothing.

We sat for hours, days, years.
He still said nothing.
He held my hand.

The man smiled. “Why are you here?”
The question angered me, could he not see the chains?
I turned from him; not wanting to hear more.

He continued to speak of a man that was not just a man.
As I sat in the grime he spoke of a father that loved me.
And a son that died.

I rolled my eyes and laughed.
My new friend was clearly insane.
No one could love me.

As he continued my bruises slowly began to fade.
I would not believe these lies he told.
I knew I was worthless.

My cuts healed and I continued to refuse his words.
He turned to me sorrowfully.
“I’ve done all that I can do.”

He continued to sit but said nothing.
He stayed by my side and said nothing.
He cried and said nothing.

My cell opened once again and words were spoken.
“Will you let me help you?”
This did not come from my new friend.

“Let me help you?”
I quietly wept.
“I can help you!”

Over and over again I was pleaded with.
This stranger kept asking to help me.
He wept and asked again.

I whimpered and tugged at my constraints.
I wanted to speak but was unable.
My heart yearned to accept his offer.

My new friend smiled at me in excitement.
“You can leave.”
I looked at my wrists in amazement.

The bindings on my hands turned to dust and blew away.
The chains on my ankles shattered and faded.
My mouth was clear to speak.

The stranger grabbed my hands and helped me up.
“Come to me and I will give you rest.”
I was free.

it hurts there
                        no, higher than my rib bones
                          lower than my coller bone
        a little to the left of my breast bone
                there
right where my heart beats
  that's where the pain is
                        what pills can i take to help the pain?

Collin was not very kind today.
He beat up another little ghost boy, he told me.
This one didn't die in the fire,
This one was in a car accident,
And he was named Bobby.
Collin didn't play nice,
And he is now in time out.
He made a candle fall off my bookshelf because of it.
I am tired of your **** today Collin.
Behave.