If I was to have a dream,
I would dream only of you....

If I was to have only one wish,
my wish would to be with you....

If I was to write a book,
it would only be about you....

If I was to paint a picture,
I would paint a life with you..

These arms have held many relationships.
As my arms are scared from many.

As I look at my tracks,
they bring back memories.

A life of addiction and the love I had for it.
They knew no other only lonely and sad.

These arms did hold, real love many times.
As well as the heart aches,
which were my suffering times

These arms have built many walls.
That would let no one in.

These arms held many unfortunate lovers
and I broke many hearts
As mine was once done

Theses arms held beauty and joy,
from the love of others.
My family, my friends
the homeless and the sick

These arms have held death
Of people that I love
Of people that cared

These arms are now held high
High to god I now know
Reaching for a new life

A life of love and
a life of challenges

**** these dysfunctional thoughts
that takes my thoughts away

i can only get mad at myself
why do delusions consume me

i know all the pieces should fit
but i can only point the finger at one

i need to rediscover my computations
or at least know the dangers of my path

trailing dreams from my days gone past
haunt me and live happily in my mind

**** this roll of film stuck in my head
if i could put a big magnet on my head
to erase my past i most diffidently would

it's burning a hole in me
this life of delusions

a life of only breathing

Why do people sometimes
Talk down to others

Yes they may be
Intellectually profound
Literally spoken

But yet don't have a lick of common sense

I'll take common sense any day

As I hop, skip and jump
Over the humps

The humps of my dreams
Of my life to be

Now jumping on nothing
Of no life to be

Feeling the darkness
Of a life to be

My life will be nothing
It will be filled with fear

The fear for a life
A life that I need

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Do you sometimes feel that your life is going nowhere....
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Should we get comfortable and accept our life....
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How many people actually like and look for change....
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Are you actually happy with what you do and who you are....
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Has your surroundings molded you.....
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Does life suffocate you are do you live to breath....
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Life will always have it's self created problems...
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Can you stay true to your goals....
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Can you see your dream coming.....
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Welcome to my realty check....
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When your thrown into the window of hurt
Everything is filled with pain

Life seems to becomes so strange
because of the feelings of loneliness

demented ways become habit
as no one can tell you whats right

these feelings always linger
in every waking moment

with the feelings of people
plotting and scheming against you

the people that care
you feel are no longer there

there is only one factor to get over hurt
and that only comes with time

tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick

the feelings of hurt will eventually go away

Love and hate
Get it wrong
She'll cut me down to size

I sleep the day
To let it fade

Who is there
To take her place

No one knows
Never will

Mostly me
But mostly you

There's no blame
Only shame

When you beg
You just complain

The more I come
The more I try

Paranoid inside
So's the future

As I lye on the pier
At the end of Key West

I look at the stars
and think about life

As dark as it is
The sky is so bright

A trillion miles away
And we still see the light

How can this be I often wonder
Is there other life
or is it our God of thunder

What ever it is
It's filled with miracle's

Miracle's of matter
Miracle's of life

I will choke until I swallow...
Choke this infant here before me.
What is this but my reflection?
Who am I to judge and strike you down?

But you're pushing and shoving me.
You still love me and you pushit on me.

Rest your trigger on my finger,
bang my head upon the fault line.

Take care not to make me enter.
because if I do we both may disappear.

But you're pushing me,
Shoving me. Pushit on me.

Slipping back into the gap again.
I'm alive when you're touching me,
Alive when you're shoving me down.

But i'd trade it all
For just a little bit of
Piece of mind.

Put me somewhere I don't wanna be.
Seeing someplace I don't wanna see.
Never wanna see that place again.

Saw that gap again today
As you were begging me to stay.
Managed to push myself away,
And you, as well.

If, when I say I may fade like a sigh if I stay,
You minimize my movement anyway,
I must persuade you another way.

There's no love in fear.

Staring down the hole again.
Hands upon my back again.
Survival is my only friend.
Terrified of what may come.

Just remember I will always love you,
Even as I tear your ******* throat away.
But it will end no other way.

WHEN I THINK ABOUT LOVE
IT STIRS THE MIND

If I was to tell you a secret, could you keep it.
If I was to tell you a lie, could you let it ride.

If I was to give you my heart, could it be a start.
If I was to tell you I love you, could you hug me.

If I was to cry, would you think I was shy.
If I was to be sad, would you think I was bad.

The things that I say, the things that I do.
I want you to know they were all about you.

The love from our past, will always last.
The life we had, went so fast.......

I want you to know, your in my heart.
And our memories together will never be lost.

I wish you happiness and I wish you love
These feelings I hold will never grow old old

I just wanted to say thank you for the memories.
And thank you for sharing part of your life with me.

#LOVE

If it was my last days on earth,
would I want to cry, scream or love........

If I was to cry,
what should be my reason why?

If I was to scream,
what would it do for me?

If I was to love,
who could I love?

If I was lost a sea,
who would I first want to see?

Why must one's eyes hold hate?
Why must one's ears hold fear?
Why must one's mouth speak doubt?

For the one that think of a life that they want......

But only says, I could, I would, I should,
yet does nothing about it................

Life is a gift,
the way you unwrap it and treat it........

IS EVERYTHING

HOW CAN I WRITE ABOUT THIS
THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY.

1.  YOU CRAVE SOMETHING
2.   YOU WANT IT AGAIN
3.   YOU BEGIN TO LIKE IT
4.   YOU CRAVE IT AGAIN
5.   YOUR CRAVINGS ARE NOT ENOUGH
6.   IT'S NOW A HABIT
7.   YOU DO IT EVETY OTHER DAY
8.   YOU NEVER MISS THAT DAY
9.   YOUR NOW HOOKED
10. IT'S NOW EVERYDAY
11. IT'S NOW TWICE A DAY
12. YOUR ADDICTED
13. WHAT WILL YOU DO

You have it all
So why do you complain

I get you what you want
Has your life have not changed

Your bitter sweet tactics
Drive me insane

Do you need to see the dope man
So you can change

Don’t you hate your life
Don’t  you want to live

Without the controlling feeling
Of life with pain

You can no where
Without your tools

Tools for disaster
That bring you pleasure

If I kick you aside
What will you do

Sell your body
For the things that you do

This isn’t some game
When you play with your life

Keep up that ****
Because you may die

Wide awake and still in my nightmare
Haunted by the presence of my surrounding
Frightened by the faces and scared of the personalities

I feel that I can do only one thing
If I can go back to sleep will I wake from this dream
As I fade away into the dream it is only more petrifying

My mind races endlessly to break this thought
I cover my eye's with a blindfold to escape
Only now to feel trapped with the horror circling me
I am now fighting to remove the blind fold but my hands are now tied

Can't this be a dream, I pray
Only to wake and finally able to remove my blindfold
A take a breath of air, and open my eye's to see
Is the nightmare finally gone

Only to see the bars on the prison cell

i don't see you
but i can feel you

from the times of our past
from the we have spent together

your in my thoughts and dreams
your always with me, as i miss you
your in my heart, so

i hear your voice always
but i still can not find you

our memories will never fade away
for i always see you in my dreams

only to know,
that you are only

an illusion in my mind

Find the moral, it’s about real life.

A rose first starts from a seed

It grows slowly with nothing but time
It sprouts and grows with thorns to protect it

It gives birth to leaves with bulbs in protection
It then blossoms and shows it signs of beauty

They are then past out to show signs of beauty
They come from your heart with love and affection

We then just sometimes let them wither away
Because my feelings were gone

I let mine almost die in front of my house
I looked at it and cried

I then nurtured it, clipped it, water it, talked to it
I told it that it could be beautiful again
I cared for it daily

It then begin to show signs of life
Thorns again, bulbs blossoming
Roses of beauty shining brightly
In every color imaginable

I then passed them out to strangers
they smiled and said thank you

I gave them to friends and they said why
I say it’s because I care for you

Their signs of beauty, signs of love sign of affection

Hard times come and hard times go, it's the mind set that controls one.....
Always remember, that one must "sacrifice" in life to "gain"......

He who knows not, knows nothing
He who knows all, holds the key

Can life be corelated or even orchestrated.

Can we organize our life by convenience
Can we direct our every move

Life wasn't made to be simple  and it wasn't made to be controlled.

I will corelate by my passion and orchestrate to my goals.

My life is now somewhat now simple
and my ways have now somewhat changed.

I deal with things in a different wat
I now live day by day.

What are you willing to do,
to hear the words I love you....

What are you willing to feel,
to feel the feelings of love....

Thoughts of love from the mind,
gradually become controlled by the heart...

As the rising stars,
somehow kiss the moon...

A beautiful flower,
will begin to bloom...

With love in the air,
and hurt everywhere...

A butterfly cries,
as our feelings die...

With the silhouette of the sun,
amongst the bouncing clouds...

I close my eyes,
from this world of despise...

Like a loaded gun,
or a soft breeze...

The difference is,
its not you or its not me...

It's this time on earth,
calculated by the rings in a tree..

Truth be told,
is what i hold...

Is it was has been given,
does this come from religion..

As the death tally tolls,
which eats at my soul...

Like a city that thrives,
to the one's that cry...

Try and hold the tear,
they say our God is near...

What is this house
Is it
A palace
A kingdom
A temple
or
A state of mind

We sometimes search
For things we lost
I lost my emotions
In this house

I've searched for years
Full of darkness
With nothing near

Always crying
Full of tears
Losing my thoughts
Filled with fear

This place we call a house
Is easily lost
Yet easily found
Always remember
It's a state of mind

Two meet...
Two fade away...
Memories past....

What was to be,
will soon be forgotten....

The past will die...
But he unknown will never be known...

Lies, fear, anger, hurt, pain and sadness?
Honesty, love, happiness, joy and fun?

One will never know the unknown....

Leaving the saying....
Life is strange

when i see a shooting star, i wonder how fast it's gone.
i don't wish upon it.

when i see a rainbow, i wonder were it starts and ends
i don't think about a *** of gold.

when i think of lucky charms, i wonder why is that man short
not that he's a lepracorn.

when i find a penny on the ground, i look for more
i don't think it's luckey.

when i hav a eye lash by my eye
i get ****** if someone tries to blow it.

when i find my lost keys, i don't say thank god
i say ****

my glass is never half empty or half full
i drink it all

i always finish what i start,
i'm finished when i get tired.

i always say what i do and do what i say, sometimes

i don't lie, sometimes
i don't cheat, sometime

but i write to much, talk to much, speak my peace, tell you how it is,
don't care what people think and will tell you to shut up.

but my qualities are,  i'm real, i help others, i show love, i inspire, i teache,
i love life, i enjoy *** and i believe in GOD and JESUS CHRIST

If they say I am broken,
can I really be fixed?

I am bruised and beaten,
part of my mind is lost,

Can I really be fixed?

I do have part of my feelings left,
I still can see a good in others,

Can I really be fixed?

I still can't understand
everyone's point of view.

Can I really be fixed?

What will it take,
where can I find it,

Can I really be fixed?

Will it take a miracle,
can a doctor cure me.

Can I really be fixed?

I hear their is a man named God,
they tell me he loves me.

Can I really be fixed?

They tell me I can find trust in God...
They say he is a forgiving God....

Can I really be fixed?

If I can't be fixed,
he is the one I want to be with.

Very seldom is a dream handed to one, so what does it take...

Dreams can not be filled right away, it takes work...

You truly have to believe in yourself and your dream....

It means waking up every morning seeing your dream that is now a vision...

It means seeing and saying what you want to accomplish, speak what you want......

It means a new lifestyle from the one you are living now....

It means dedication and hard work everyday, day after day.....

It means when you feel like taking a break, don't, push yourself harder then the norm. We can never get lazy.....

It means staying true to your self and your dream, if times get hard let it strengthen you.

Your vision may change from time to time slightly and that is God just redirecting you a bit, stay true to him, he is the director....

Keep track of your thoughts everyday and write them down, journal....

Do a, to do list every morning and get everything done on your list, no excuses...

Yes no one said it would be easy, you will tire from time to time, focus, focus, focus.....

Me, I love money $$$$ and God. He does does provide for me and I will say I like big things, houses, cars, vacations, to be able to buy what I want and when I want it....

Equal time equal pay.......

Less time less pay.....

Dreams do come true and I have filled many of mine!!!!!!!!

I once had a future,
that was lost it in time....

From the times of my past,
where my roll defines me...

From once having everything,
to losing it all....

The things we chase.....
The things we lose....

Are a glimpse in time,
where things were abused...

The things we give....
The things we no longer take....

Are things we desire,
to no longer be fake...

Feelings change,
as time passes us by...

As our mind grows,
our outlook on life changes...

Has you life changed you,
or have you changed your life..

Excuse my writings today

I've been filled with love, hurt and pain

                              Sorry

a lot of people forget about the simple things in life
a quite walk alone
a good conversation
a caring feeling for others

a lot of people take things for granted
a place to live
a good friend
a job

a lot of people forget simple words
a good morning
a hello
a how are you

a lot of people think that their problem is the worst
a bill collector calling
a thought of illness
a love gone bad

a lot of people get upset at objects
when something won't start
when something gets in their way
when something hurts them

a lot of people take out their frustrations on objects
a door
a wall
a piece of furniture

a lot of people like to pass blame
you were suppose to do it
you never told me
you never listen

a lot of people create their own problems
bill collectors calling
the electricity about to be shut off
saying the wrong thing

when is it time to change
what does it take
what has to happen

a lot of these thoughts are imbedded in you
some people have to learn the hard way

where does one start
can one actually change
and will it cost something

yes, it cost time

it's about you being second
it's about reading
it's about a relationship

it's about one person
he's kind
he's forgiving
he's loving

and he has always been there

why do we never trust the right person
why do we deal with the wrong

do you want to change
do you want a different life

Every inch of her body
Is more beautiful then the next

I start with her hair
How it feels
How it looks how it smells

I'll first kiss her forhead
Look into her eye's
Touch her ear's
Brush her nose
And kiss her lips

I'll then smell and lick her neck
Rub my hands down to the small of her back
I will only drip cold water on her breast as I blow on then.

I will then go to her toes and feet
Kissing and rubbing them lightly
I will stroke her legs one at a time, softly, gently, caring.

I will then caress her butocks, gently kissing them.

Flipping her over kissing her lips going down one inch at a time.

Taking an hour to get to her sweet spot.

When I think about love
I think about God

When I think about hate
I think about ISIS