There's an awakening in my heart and...
   it feels so good,
      so right,
         so comfortable.

It's like it has always been there...
   festering,
      surfacing,
         growing.

Why now am I scared shitless...
   to let it overcome me?
      to let it consume me?
         to let it feed me?

Could it be because...
   it's too soon?
      it's too raw?
         it's too demanding?

Answers, please!

I want to make you feel
How I feel when I think of you,
What it takes to be in control,
And not die under the weight of the love
I carry for you,
That every cell in my being craves you more than oxygen,
That you are the earth to my moon,
The sun to my darkness,
So oblivious of your own beauty,
Blind to my suffering.

The cloud that is my love for you,
Burst for I could contain it no more,
A lightness creeps into my gloom,
As your season comes to pass from my heart,
I look back at the times I thundered and roared,
You faced me like sea of calm,
Accepting all my anger and distress,
Making them into paper boats to float away,
The rainbows that shine are testament,
Of the magnificence that spawned this undying love.

Tides turn, come and go,
Seasons pass, things keep moving,
Life keep moving forward,
But some things never change.
I hoped that some day I'll get over you,
I feared I was becoming obsessed,
It seems so simple, that I had to just let go.
But no.. Its been 4 years since we met,
Three and a half of which I have spent being in love with you,
I'm glad I told you from the start,
You've been my saving grace.
That you never loved me hurt often,
More so when you said you'll never be able love me back,
I always knew, it still hurt. And I accept it all now.
Despite knowing, here I am today, still finding myself thinking of you every spare moment,
Hanging to your every word,
All the little things you have that define you,
Wondering how your day goes, if you're alright,
The longer I spend away from you,
I steadily wither inside,
Knowing you belong to some one else,
It doesn't seem to change my feelings,
In fact your happiness is my main concern.
Through this mess I can only recall the times we've spent together,
Those moments where you allowed me into your world,
I think you are worried of hurting me,
But those times, in the club at night,
Sitting in at home and getting drunk,
Laying on the same hammock hoping we don't fall,
Staying up all night to see the rising sun,
Those moments where we were just.. We were.
It wasn't much to you, but in those moments,
I soared, I healed, I was inspired,
Proving that you're good for me.
And again I'll remember you're not mine,
That you don't want me and never will,
And this rant is all a waste,
I still don't understand why I can't get over you,
Why even after 4 years of not having you,
I love you so much