I've never been so out of my mind
craving, twisting, clawing my way up
it feels like theres no air left in my lungs
screaming for some oxygen
they're numbing slowly so painfully
searing the edges of my sanity
elevating and escalating endlessly through
the emptiness of us

momma doesn't understand
daddy doesn't ask
why she stopped taking
her little white pills
"they'll save you"
everybody says as if
they know what
saving feels like.
how could she possibly explain
she wants her highest highs
even when they
make her want
to die

i wish that i still loved you,
that i had made a mistake
and only just realized
that it made me jealous
to see those pictures of other girls
that your smile
made me want you again
made me remember
how perfect we were.
i want to be in love with you,
you're the only one
that knows about
how i like to be kissed on the shoulder
how i can't ever sleep till its morning
how i lose track of things.
you're the only one that knows
how the fall weather scares me
and its getting cold out again
and i really
really wish
that i still loved you.