You are going to be okay. I know it hurts now.. the burning in your chest will recede; your hands will stop shaking; your stomach will settle. A million times you've felt this, I know. It's not fair. It's not fair to give everyone your all in hopes that God will bless you for trying to be a better person; a better friend; daughter; sister. The world is harsh. It's going to knock you on your back a thousand times over. It's not your fault that you were born the way you were; short temper, quick to trust, quick to love. It's not your fault that you've been left in every way, shape, and form. Maybe they don't see you as who you are trying to be, only for who you were. I know it seems hard right now, everything is going like a roller coaster, so many ups and so many downs. But I wanted to tell you that one day this will all go away. Whether by your own means, or anothers. It doesn't really matter... but someday you'll heal. You are conflicted, and you will be for a long time. There are hard decisions throughout your whole life, you just have to learn to battle through. I know you are hurting, but please, try to stand tall. You will gain other friends, other loves. One person shouldn't cost you the whole world.

Chin up, my friend.

I am starting to live a life filled with razor blades again.
They are everywhere,
on the window sill,
on the night stand,
on top of the drawers.

My room constantly oozes red blood;
it would be so easy.
It hardly hurts anymore,
one flick of the wrist and it would be over.

No more dark days,
pain filled nights,
broken heart.

I could just

rest.

I wouldn't have to take sleeping pills anymore,
or ask God not to think of you.
I wouldn't have to feel as if I were drowning;

razor blades;

*I could just rest.