I say
No
Quite often to you.
No, you can't say things like that and expect it to not hurt.
No, you have to think before you act.
No, you don't do those things.
No, because I love you.
I love your voice.
The way you look right when you wake up and just as you fall asleep.
The things you say and the way you're important enough that it can cut me to ribbons.
Your skin.
I don't know.
Its not a ****** thing. I just need you, I love you and want to hold you
I can't explain.
So I say no.
No
I can't tell you that
Its not important
Why those scars look so new
Or that one word makes me start to sob
Or how my face is so bad at listening to my mind.
I love you.
So I'll say it again.
No.

Once upon a time
The sky turned darker than black
And I was lost
But then
There were two lights
Brighter than hope
And you stepped forward
With eyes like shiny pinwheels
And pulled me into the daylight
So
I love you.

I hate sleep.
I hate dreaming.
I hate wanting things I shouldn't and I hate the word hate.

I hate sleeping and missing so much that goes on.
I hate dreaming and waking up in the same situation.
I hate wanting to sew my mouth shut and never speak again.

I hate hot summers and I hate damp springs.
I hate being nervous and I hate being unsure.
I hate the color yellow and I hate not crying when I need to.

I hate making decisions.
I hate white walls you can't paint.
I hate being alone and I hate having people know.

I hate that people don't know how great they are.
I hate that I miss my mom, even when she hates me.
I hate walking in the dark and I hate using an umbrella.

I hate hearing people sleep and I hate cold fries.
I hate falling asleep holding a pillow, wishing it was a person.
I hate the sound of chewing and the smell of melted ice-cream.

I hate the color my skin gets when I tan.
I hate not being able to help anyone, ever, at all.
I hate having to act like I know what I'm talking about.

I hate when there are people on my early morning walks.
I hate that my best friend is so much better than me and I don't want her to realize.
I hate how quiet the room gets when I walk in, because, what do you say to that weird kid?

I hate not writing stories and I hate not sharing them.
I hate that I hate so **** much and I hate that I write poetry.
I hate when my head itches and I hate when it doesn't rain for a long time.

I hate losing people.
I hate being left behind.
I hate that I deserve it, all the time.

I hate my inconsistent style and I hate rhyming.
I hate getting my nails painted and I hate wearing makeup.
I hate not being enough for anyone other than me and feeling like I owe them.

I hate being lost in a boring town.
I hate not having internet.
I hate me.

Red is like rain.
Okay, wait, hear me out.
Red is the color of heat
Anger
Love
Blood.
Love is like change.
Like, spring or something, right?
This new, exciting landscape of ideas and principles
And freedoms.
Rain is like change.
Rain rinses away the ***** parts of the cities
Like love for our hearts
So red is the color of love
Anger
Blood
Change
And, surprisingly,
Rain.

I dreamed last night
About having my mouth sewn shut
And living like that.
It was a surprisingly
Warm
Dream.

I miss you sometimes.
When I look in your eyes and see nothing there.
And know that I'm just clinging to my memories.
And know that dreams should fall apart
When proved untrue.
I love you occasionally.
Like how the sky and wind and sun want to play with your hair.
And the moon can only wish to be as perfect as you.
And your smile is like the ocean.
And your eyes are like the sunset over top of it.
I think about you daily.
About our shared pasts.
Our possible futures.
Our little lies.
The truths
We can't dare reveal to anyone else.
I lie to you, I guess.
Saying I'm okay all the time.
Admitting defeat where there is none.
All the 'Never-mind's.
And "We're cool"s.
That really mean nothing.
I wonder nowadays.
Do you miss me?
How did you really feel?
Why do we bother?
Will you love me back?
I miss you, sometimes.

I can't look back
And see the shattered glass of the past
Any longer
It seems so fair now to say
I was wrong.