I am here when you are not,
I was born through the pain that was brought
Upon a child who always sought.
The truth that never came,
Staring at faces all the same,
Lost in a wave, that was about to cave.
No one could hear you, but I could.
Always telling you things as you listened
I knew you always would.
Our growth was divine,
Strengthening with time.
You never knew I was there,
Until we were homeless,
Sleeping in that chair.
I whispered to you
"I'll always get you though"
In that moment your faith grew.

Your death
Is transforming my life.
My health is down the drain
My body is in pain
And my mind is in a far worse state
I'm depressed and a wreck
I don't sleep or eat
At least not the way I used to.
These bloodshot eyes are tired of leaking
My chest wishes to rest
And the only time I'm not shaking
Is when my lips
Are curled around a cigarette
And smoke abundant in my lungs.
Some may call it a mental breakdown
I call it grieving.

Not a word has been spoken since that night.
The night where words ran wild, and no one saw the light.


                                         My heart is breaking from the people who leave.
                                             My heart was stolen by night's terrible thieve.


                          The secrets and lies that people deny.
                          The heart and pain that is dying in time.


The blood that is streaking across the skin.
The razor can't stop digging in.
                    
                                           ­             Words of hate leave ink on your bones.
                                                        Wa­nting no more to pick up the stones.


                   I wait for death to take me home.

Go run away

to your dreams my love,

I'll be the nightmare waiting for you

when you wake up..

I don't feel the need to be entertained.
I just enjoy your proximity.

And even with your unmeaning insulting,
I just feel the need to impress.

No pressure.

I don't feel the need to be adored.
I just like when you talk to me.

And even with your condescending intelligence,
I just feel the need to impress.

No pressure.

I don't feel the need to always touch, taste, kiss, and hold you...

No pressure.

I'm afraid to stand out
And be different.
What if I look odd?
What if I'm judged?

I'm afraid of using big words,
Even though they sound beautiful.
What if I use it wrongly?
I'll be thought of as a fool.

Most of all,
I'm afraid
Of telling you
That I love you
Everyday.

It's meant to be a cute,
Sweet gesture.
A way of
Reminding you
You're the best thing
In my life.

But what if
It slowly becomes a mere routine for me?

Worse still,
What if
One day
Your reply is,
"I don't, anymore."?