I sit with the fear
Sense how it feels
Digging in it's heels
I let it speak but soothe it deep
Knowing the souls spirit is real deal

Magpies hopping and flitting from branch to branch
Pigeon sits still silent in awareness

Balancing
when
winds
blow
in

A broken heart bares no scars to the eyes
You have to feel it
Then try again to open up
Closed little flower bud

There's magic in our house
A fairy who visits by
Swishing round the living room
Making spirits fly
Round and round the home she goes placing things just right
Into the kitchen she travels in morning noon or night
Not a jot or *** of washing up to clean in sight
What a little trooper a little hero to wash and put the plates and cups away
Hope housemate appreciates
Maybe she'll need my marigolds one day
It's magic!!
Ta Darrr!!!

The striving man
Reaching for everything
Wanting for nothing

How can what I see be real
How can the I be the only truth
My awareness is a reflection of me and my mood
It changes as it
                         moves

The sky and dreamscape show the signs the symbols of the way
The shapes images and patterns alert mine eyes
To lead to clearer day

You can feel the sadness behind the eyes
you try so desperately to hide
Tomorrow your eyes will light up
another day

Being human is hard
So many layers to break through
Sometimes we too need a break
Take it easy on ourselves ❤

Ego   says
I want love
Spirit says
You are
love

Wrap your arms around my golden glow
Beg for mercy in your solemn vow
On your knees I'll take you now
Never think I can't

Just when I think all is left where's it's been
There you are again in a dream
You come to me
Grab me kiss me so strongly so passionately
Then in another dream
I see you with her
and your future
family

Forensics checking house across the way from me
Police busy on the beat
Can't help but look to see
But I know I'll have to let it go
Just to be

I'm so tired of crying

Got to keep on          
      pushing
          through
                  Or a
                        step
                           ahead
                                    and
                                           I'll
                                                 be
                                                   s
                                                   c
                                                   r
                                                   e
          ­                                         w
                      ­                             e
                                  ­                 d

Dancing with my reflections
I'd rather not see
Though I need to open my eyes

In silent slumber the body rests
The mind adrift to shores unmet
Naked as a babe appearing as she laid
Watching its prey from the shadows
Casting its spell to freeze its victim from wake or shake
A body to overtake
To feed on the soul
A shell to leave empty scooped out hollow
This victim has met before with this kind
Shaking off when black magic enters the mind
Feel the body was about to slow
Energies force to tangle and pull
Scrabbling out of demons hell
The pit of darkness where the stricken and tormented dwell
Feeling freer now
Open eyes to prying light
A transparency in the air
Glitching twitching watching there
Eyes just stare
And I feel them looking back

Was it the sinner or the saviour
I'm sure they'll be back

I worry about you
I wish I could make things right
I wish I could hold you tight and cuddle the night away

You grew from the life left over from death
You drew from the sun but your head knew where you were grown from

Urged to go to this place something drew towards this direction
You took to the stage your voice and song reminding me of favoured plays
I see you
You see me
Though upon your gaze I have to face away
I can't let you see through this cool charade
You might warm me with a look to melt
I feel a weakness wash over me
So giddy
You see

House cold
No heat it's faltered
No hot running water
It's snow outside
Taking it away from me
Take it away from me
******* Take it all away from me

Synchronicity in plain sight
In number plate state might
Next car behind
Two letters together say be
Not sure what that could mean
to you or me

Grieving over and over again
This time feels like death
Dying seemed easier before
This one has severed me from the core
Sometimes I long to take my final breath
To rest

Up the hill to climb
Rocks to step underfoot
Stumble then to rise
Only way to go
Place your weary feet
into my mould
My footprints
shall
guide you
home

There's a fire that burns deep from roots of the earth
It will not be extinguished it was grown from birth
From a small seed planted it grew inside
To battle against raging winds and perils to thrive
Burning brighter in adversity
Glowing in the breeze
Flame reaching brighter
To fire with all that it can be
Passion and spark ignite in flame trees
You will not be blown out
Bough before effulgent leaves

You can stare menacingly at my third eye
But I can see you too
I feel you
I'm not scared of you
I'M NOT SCARED OF you
NOW
fall
away ..
I want my peace

In the brilliance of your absence
Heart of stone crushed and spliced
The soft scent haunted in the fragrant darkness of the night
The cold wind blew in with a steady might
The leaves spun and
fell right by my side
The cold
The
darkness
The
love
Warmth
The
light
Just a part of wholeness
of this very
life

May trick be played upon your mind
Magik in your atmosphere

Rocket balloon flying far so soon
Reaching highs that scare eyeline  
In the way of incoming plane
Near miss fatality
Then aircraft more clearly
too a hot air fare
Someone trashing up a car playing to the high
Not seeing beneath skies rise
So busy looking on the ground seeing the broken surrounds
Perhaps can view the two keeping one eye on the ground while flying soaring more
Knowing the level between it all
Releasing staying small

Up with the snooze
Later slight delay
Listen to the words on video play
Speaking of rockets how journey climb to align
Then washing up the crockery
I look and see balloons released to the clouds
So many balloons
Blue and white
Same colours
as rockets
that were
in flights
Zoom

In work
Seen as weird and whacky
Get things wrong they come up to smack me
So..
I can only do my best

Learning all the time

Expression to word the page
Of feelings had to date
All past pleasures and pains
The want to fill up again
The void that has been left deep in the soul
Sensitive to touch
Within a gaping hole
I line my sentiment on paper
Will the piercings ever heal
Love poetic
Ever be felt for real

I'm full of lunacy and anxiety
Don't worry
It's only in my mind

Spilling from your body
The overflow to drain
Washing
to
the
wayside
Sediments of grain
Separation to feed again

Last night felt a sense of drifting being pulled into another place and time
Fear kicked in so I resisted
Not sure what was happening inside
But as I open my eyes as many times before as images I've seen behind closed doors
A shadow I catch sight but not like ones before
This one has more definition
Black hood can't see face feet not touching floor
I just observe it drift from left to right side of room
Second time in past week hooded figure has approached
I wonder what they want
I know I'm not just crazy and it's not sleep disorder
Too much sense to know things in life normal perception can't fathom
Last one had green face could be a Martian
Oh well I thought as it zoomed out of eyeline  
Into the shadows to disappear before first light
And I slept the rest of night

Body outer shell
The crust to our earth
Within us all
spirit
of
universe
There is no beginning or end..
..Infinitely
swimming
in
the
cosmos

I'm getting lessons in patience
I can't wait!!

I'm naive
Who?
me??

I've seen
Dragons
Fairies
Ghouls
Ghosts
Deities
Aliens
Phantoms
Mystic eyes
Shadowmen
But Politicians!
I don't believe in them!  
Telling tall tales
Fables and lies
Wrapped up in 'for the people' guise
At least with Pinocchio you could see who pulled the strings and his nose grew when he was lying
Now where was I!
I have an prior arrangement with a Dragon
We are going flying to galaxies on high
To unexplored realms and starry sky!!...

My demons are
Dark
Black
Shadows
Thin Tall and narrow
Alien
Grotesque looking
Lusting devil
Child size hollow
Freezing
Paralyzing
Clawing
Controlling
Manipulative
Fallen
Haven't seen some in a while
Though I feel them

******* the moon
Chanting alluring tune
'Oh come to me for I can see the world in all its glory
I know the land
The plan at hand
The tell of loves true story
Oh sing to me sweet melody
Of how we drifted as riders in tides of melancholy
How we surfed those bashing waves and held on to meet with shore
How we hold our hope so bold and cry out from core when we are washed to the deep once more
Knowing we will be swept the way we came before
Now I stand on moon so grand
And sing in reign so high
I feel the earth
How world will turn
And mighty power rests to mine side
So conjure up these spectacular skies to shower upon those held below
To lift from ache and past mistake
Rip the chains of grounds sorrow
Rise up!
Fill up!
Release the hollow..
For time is now to Unite!
Ignite!
Spark Up Bright!!
Connect with Divine Light as Sacred Offering
of
Recognition
to
Refined
Mastery
of
Tomorrow

Taste the bite
Fill the blood
See night vision
As you should
You may crawl
It's all good
Pinch me now
Let's
open         up

My life is not the 'norm' I live with my dog and ex boyfriend
I've been asked questions numerous times on this subject. Usually well do you not want to get back together? We would be if we wanted to. How does that work? With patience and growth. Have you tried dating? Yes we have. Usually followed by a kind of understanding when others see life isn't conventional, or the I'm not sure I could be understanding of that situation. The latter makes me feel strange like I'm a bizarre  odyssey never to be understood or accepted by a future love. Then I come back to me feel the love I am and realise they are just not where I am, why would they understand? It all comes from your own perception and life experiences.  All I understand is two people loving unconditionally in good and hard times being there for the dog we both equally love. Trying to live our unconventional lives as best we can. That I can understand :)

Close eyes to the world
Look within
Place your hands upon your heart then we can begin
Feel the pounding of your heart
Feel how it beats for you
Each pulse alive for you
It wants you to live
Show it your love and admiration
Fill it up with compassion
Allow the love you have so readily given away be with you
You deserve to feel your own heart
Give yourself comfort and care as you would a friend
Let any emotions come to light
No judgement attached
Be there for self
Give self time to love and mend
Open your eyes to the world ......
and smile :-D
You are doing your very best <3

Pointing at your targets like they are the ones to blame
Shooting them down in gargantuan shame
You do not like it when the finger points back to you and you are the one in a minefield of pain

Arms wrapped around
Gaze to one another
Walking away from the chaos that surrounds
Into the ferns of green promised lands
Nature as their compass
Spirit their homely bound
To the buttercups of truth and light
The waterfalls of bliss
Dwells of butterflies and bluebells kiss
Passion flowers from every scent
Purity of stars of wildflower white
Caverns of sanctuary
Pools of plenty
Walking each other home
To live with love
And rest to a good night