Living in the pretence
Some part wants to climb the fence
Another just lay in bed

Fill me up with your love
I am open
X

Don't know where I go in meditation
Mind drifts far, far away....
Breath of ashes of the day

Swallowed the pills
Downed spirit from the bottle
Thrown myself in front of oncoming cars
Put self in destructive conditions
Self harmed
Self hated
Self loathed
Self scarred
Accepting whatever scraps were given making it my world
Hell became me
I had to face my demons just to be
I'm
still
breaking
free

Why can't we all be together
The people who want to love one another
Why can't we have a community of sharing caring connectivity
Can we live in harmony
You them & me
It's a place too far or a state that's altered
Different places at different times
The differences can be understood
If we just try
We may find we all could love

Sitting with this pain in my chest
It's taken up my day

For all those moments you die a little more inside

It teaches you to live

Does mental illness really exist?
Killing in the world
Do you want to be apart from this?
Cruelty to the animals
Do you want to belong to this?
Oppression to the masses
Do you hope that this passes?
Suppression of our senses
Would you rather not mention?
High prices and toxic slices on natures vegetation
Segregation in worlds population
Borders of control to soften the blow
Deprivation
Frustration
Do I fit into this placement?

Dissociation

I feel healthy now
Do you ever Wonder
Why?

Rejection
I keep meeting with it
One day it'll fly away
My love,
will be enough

Take away my innocence
My purity
If anything is left of me
Wash it away..

Spider insider
Crawling over me
I can show you worlds
You can't see

Always fear of the wasp kind
A pesky insect couldn't abide
Only stung once in life
But as child the memory was horrific
This year for months had to negotiate window open and closed
A hive of activity above the rows
Swarming about sometimes come in to check home out
Would hide by door
If close fall further back into retreat
Not fancy them applying stinging spree
The more eye saw the more to see
Not really interested in causing anarchy
Fly from floral pattern to swirls on the roof hoping for some plant to root
Started getting closer to open window wide could get out not stuck inside
Got to a point on handheld tissue they would hop to venture out without wounding plot
Then one day
Call out had been made for colony to be smoked away
Neighbours couldn't cope to have them creatures stay
I understand a pest to family
But wish nature and man could live in much more harmony
Now gone
Unstung melody
Though not a victory that taste so sweetly
To the wasps that lived above me

I dreamt I was in a horror house
Each room a different torture fear and dread
The stairs a spiral it all came back to you there was no way out only to venture through
The creepy whispers began the ride
Stepping on from each curtain call
A man old and tall a vibe didn't much like or trust
I kept him close but up in front
Strange in manner and speech something sinister lurking dark underneath
He gave me some scissors can't recall why
He gave me the chills and kept asking for them back it felt off
Only once taken to the next level did I hand them back as I closed and held the door shut
A corridor rooms trimming the path
In one copulating couples frantic with lust as men lay chilling in  ice filled bath
A man with a blunt instrument and a heavy wielding axe
I need not know anymore organs wanted for guts and gore
Apparently victims decision to give it a go
Perhaps wrong choice of words as I left after hearing that
With side vision of bludgeon head whack attack
Not sure you could come back from that
Landing a lost women blind eyes dripping with blood I held her hand asked if anything to do if I could
Leading back to her room a grimace and laugh across her face she was able to see it was all a hoax but the ghost of true fate did awake and to that she met her match
Black mass taken as her deathly catch
Shifting shape to serpent came to me after that
I closed the door to her hiss
In I stood with a woman kinder now something lost some sorrow
felt somehow
Adolescence son they hadn't met in some time
Bound to the room with a presence that spoke but an object refusing to let go
We all spoke we made a plan to get out we all knew it's what we must do
Then I woke up to the sun

Set your thoughts adrift
Build them onto Viking ship
Let them float away....
As fire burns to ash
Sink into depths of sea
Water cleanse with purity
Fall heavenly asleep
Rest among the deep
Tranquility and peace
Take my thoughtful place

Head on the pillow
Ready to rest
Awake in the dark
Open eyes
Lad perched sitting on my bed
Cap on his head
Casual dress
I shout
Shock!
Put covers over head
Scared to look back out
Though I know not be seen right away again
Torch on
As I'm writing this

Serpents desire
To rise
Slithering through the illusions and the lies
Opening eyes to which you feel despise
Cutting it up
Cauterize
Venomous bite
Only with the fear
Nature divine
Once love is near

Rip my heart open and let me melt within your flame
I burn for me only
I'm still
on
fire

A country cottage little cliche winding path
Roses planted in the garden as flowering buds border the home
A place where garden and house combine to grow alongside each other
To be feeling fresh air in both lungs, outside and in
A place to call my own where the wildlife roams willingly and I finally feel free
Maybe adding a little view by the sea :)

These Mirrors
Hold too many visions
It's shine can be blinding and illuminating
The shadows can be contouring and devouring
It just depends on how we see
Highlights to walk
the
halls way

Door ways
all
around

Endings before beginnings
All is changing
Rearranging
Moving around the furniture
Let's hope the armchair is placed in a comfortable position
And the bed is filled with peace and love
The windows open to the sun
Nature is in bloom
Harmony flows through every room
...

She feels so much
Deep in her gut
Some days feels like her hearts been stamped on and punched
Then thrown away
But when she smiles
Eyes wild
Excited child
The world comes alive
She thrives and dives into the cosmic flow of inspiration and amazement
What a glorious creation
Time to play and have some fun
Sharing the glow with every one
Touched by her ecstatic buzz

You keep Pushing and Pushing and Pushing
And I just want to Push you away

Just because you feel sad, alone, and unhappy
Doesn't make you any less worthy
It's just the way you feel right now

It's all in your head
The imagining
The thoughts you dread
The scripts you've repeatedly read
The what if
The could be
The we will see
Some times I reach for release
And follow my heart
Going in deep

Take me into your hands
Rub me gentle and slow
Massage tenderly
Perky will grow
Breast care is
valuable to know
Do it alone or a close friend
someone willing to grace with
a healthy healing glow

Full of thorns
One ***** will make you bleed
All around dies in ash lined ground
Blood trickles
Seeps
into
the
roots
of decay
Soaking in
Growing Grief Sin Misery
Flourishing in Rosy Grey

Beyond the haze of life
There's a place where I roam
A place to the otherside
A space of spirit home
Colours vivid and bright
Animals wild and free
Tribes dancing chanting rituals rites
Healing takes it's throne
Deep into the unknown
I wonder completely
Visions shown

Dream it
as if
it's already
here

Feeling like a failure never came easy
I have decided this to be truth of me
As my life is a hash of what I wanted it to be

The middle ground knows it's hard to see
But between it all lives the beauty
The gratitude of what is and the delicate simplicity
The acceptance of the now


The higher self knows all
It glides far over the wall
It sees the deeds the seeds the rise the fall
Does it beg for more
Or guide the call

Where am I now

I fell in love with that music today
It made love to me in every way
Chest pounding
Toes curling
Stomach dropping
Elevated bliss
The music flowed through waves and penetrated at the core
Emotions flew
Tears rolled down face
Angel wings at foot of bed
Took to Angelic resting place
Passion now reinstate
That's how love should feel and taste
Who could ask for more

Conversations numbed
Words
left out
Parts hidden away
Not through shame
Sometimes diminished misunderstanding
with less to say

The dark was calling one way
The light the other
Turned to face the light
Although was in dark room under cover
Wish the battle would end
Can't we just rest in peace and not toss and turn at wits end
Try the very best to be good
But don't be misunderstood
Possess a dark side
Haunting presence cloaked black hood
Sinistrous beasts burden the night
Serpents living in blood
Can give a deadliest fright
However we may fear something ominous which could be of the light
Shift in hindsight
Just trust and keep the faith to stay right

Even as a child I thought life was a dream
It never felt like my dream though

Think I just accepted
and stopped
dreaming

Head tingles
when Divine calls
Hairs antenna
as etheric ariel
befalls

Magic
blends
with those
who
believe

Melancholy filled mums
From all those times you touched your empty tums
No babe to love
Grieving as your children were never born

Some days I feel I've seen too much and feel I've felt enough
But I also love

I've taken so much more than I can bare
I let you into my life again
I gave you a chance to do it all differently
I gave you compassion and understanding for your difficult time
I made you laugh
I made meditations to help clear your mind and heal your heart
But you didn't want to know
Bit by bit truth came to unravel
The lying eyes you've been hiding behind
Playing with my heart my love my health my life for a second time
I've been feeling like I'm on a merry go round
A rollercoaster ride
And I feel sick now
I've watched as you vented your anger towards another and still tried to see your side
And now you show me all your actions been a lie
You wanted her
The one you went to after you broke my heart the first time
The years I spent healing myself
And when I'm just getting better you think it's ok to come in and just say hi
And pick me up when I made peace with the goodbye
Now everyone is bad in your eyes
When I was struggling need a supportive line
You told me you still want her
Am I just a play thing with no shine
Not to me I'm not
Worth so much more than you will ever know

Live
Forgive
Love

Can't close my eyes to sleep
Though rest beckons
In dreams the pain fades
Spirit is in a higher state knowing fate
Each morning wake
Paint on brave face
Create a smile

I saw an apple one day with a band of O
I saw a rainbow the other covering church and home
I'm seeing numbers 4's and 5's constantly thrive
I read a message then it's content comes to life
Images flash before my mind
Dreams spill as I open my eyes
People become the mirrors of time
Time becomes the frequency in line
Lines are waves speaking hello or goodbye
Distant are the memories memories were our thoughts find
Voices join together words align
Growth gains pleasure some pleasures get left behind
Opposites come to meet too similar a pain may greet
The light shines in the dark
The dark attracts to the light
Energies bring us down or up high
Though sometimes as we hang our feet dance in the sky
As we buried in the dirt our roots begin to blurt
Resistance beckons the hurt
Flowing is lighter
Holding is tighter
Passions burn brighter
Desire is a fighter
Ego falls again
Then we birth from fallen women and men
Feeling the love in everything
Wanting for nothing
Then love again

Taken to bed
Melancholy fed
Numbness compatible friend
No thoughts all left
Then a glimmer
A spriteful spark as stars would dance in palace of dark
Faintly see fluttering be
Can make out wings now
Dainty intricate pair or pairs
Circular movement draws the air
Petite figures
Ethereal hair
Not an insect that can see
Fairies come visit me
Wasn't sure I did believe before
Now I know there's more
Hidden in plain sight
For sure

Thoughts coming up to be questioned
Can anything be answered clearly

Whispers of change
Blowing in again
The sun lights the way
Brothers Sisters love to all of them
The children want to play have their moment in the sun
Warmth encircle
each and
every
one

Follow outline of hourglass body
Make the moment count
Bathe as stream trickles
between
breasted ravine
Dipping down to hip
As droplets collect to meet
Waters edge to thighs
Open mouth as
pleasures greet
In
and out

Words
drip
          onto skin
Soothing
with
sensitive touch
Smoothing
over
                    curves
and
lines
Feeling
        light
pressure
sink
gently
with
each
stroke
Body flows
to
release
and
comfort
Easing
into
rest..

From where we came
From order
From the ground
Taking each stair
Into the doorways of opportunity
The grand entrance
The arch ways
The community of faith
The dark far reaching caves into the now future and past
The warriors of war
Those who assist
The knights of templar
The humans of good will
The opening
At the mercy of the sea
Waves flowing lashing back over to me

Slipping away
from
the
words

Drifting
away
from
the
sound

Feeling
away
from
the
body

Fluid
with
life