Flashbacks in the mind
Brain wave of reviews
Thinking back to times high and lows that I've been through
Remember back to the years
One day when two women beat me down
Changed me outside in
I tread on softer ground
Things I've learnt
Tried and tested
Mistakes I've made
Lessons and blessings
Even if life throws the lemons you know the sour taste can turn to sweet drink in essence

Long blade of grass blowing in the wind
Just standing there
It took so much growth and strength to get to where you are
You are a part of something
You bear the seasons
But what do you do now
Change has to come

Some days I just want some understanding some gentleness
Why does everything have to be so harsh heavy or explosive
You get accustomed to falling and getting yourself back up
The tears fall shorter the longer the pain appears

I try.. and I try... and I try....
But I am so ******* tired
And I don't even know if you even care about me
At All!
About anything I do or how I feel
I try to show care but it gets thrown back at my ugly face
I try to make the effort but I'm just left feeling and seething
What's the point!

Sitting in the bar alone at a table I gaze around taking in the atmosphere
the sights the sounds
I wonder to myself who here has true beauty within
Who radiates warmth and maybe is not seen
The glamour queens paraded the floor putting on a show
taking the empty chairs from my table without a polite word
People sit with drinks concerning with only exterior view
I notice at the bar across from me
A lady wiry black hair with grey streaks
Black sundress yellow flowers
Maybe not seen to most
But to me she blooms
She looks to me and smiles
I smiled back
No words were exchanged
It didn't matter

...Flowing through...

                                        s               l                        .
                                  g   ­                     i              e
                              n                                ­   F
                           i                                           r
                       r                                                  o
                    p                                           ­            m
In nature s                                                   
                                                                 ­               l
                                                              ­             i
                                                                ­               f
                                                                ­           e
                                                                ­ s
                                                          p
   ­                                                r
                                          i
                                n
                                       g
                                               s
                                                
               ­                         n         .
                            ­ a                         e
                                t                    r
                                           u

Light touch can do so much
When we are gentle with ourselves
Slow fingers brush parts of intimate love
Pleasure flow through and out as honey trickles from flowers sweet petals of nectar

Healing never comes easy
You have to remove parts of yourself
You have to feel
To endure the hurt and pain
You have to hold it up to the light to study all over again

When you went hungry I bought you food
You didn't want!
When you were down I tried consoling you
You didn't want!
When you went ill I wanted to sit and be there for you
You didn't want!  
When I wanted you to come enjoy life with me
You turned it away /

When you didn't want

I left it be


Exchanged parts of self
for
thee

Somehow got that wrong


                                                          You just didn't want
                                                    

                                                                                                                     me

How was the rose going to bloom when all you saw was the thorns so you cut off the heads and left the spike
Any colour would be torn out
The flower and the spine desire to be together for true order and beauty to show
The ruby red was always the cut from the rose
That's all you've ever known
So you hold on to what's left and wonder why you bleed

You hate humankind
You hate human
You hate kind
What makes you more than human
You and hate side by side
Hate should be cut out
You with kind

No manipulation
No emotional exploitation
But you will turn the wheel to favour your view
Mow them down to get to that secluded spot
Is it pretty there
I think not
Lonely and barren

Take a look in the mirror and see
Take the time to look
Too busy blinding others with the glare
They turn away
And you wonder why

You want to be seen
Want to be loved
So see others
Love them too
No one wants sharp edges to cut
Neither do you

Wrap me up in love so strong it makes the hurricane seem like a comforting kiss

Your suffering kills me
I lie awake and weep for you
Scared one day to not hear you speak or read newly typed words

Thoughts run into feeling
Feeling runs into tears
I can taste the salt

Go to bed wide awake and restless
Wake up tired and lifeless

Tired of taking each one's pain and injecting it as my own
If I don't it gets injected for me
Feels like there is no cure but to keep numb from the sharp infliction

With such words my sadness
twirls
to tears of beauty
expressed by grace
of
purest symphony

Let go of all you know
The beliefs that hold us back
The illusions that take control and projected onto who they think you show
We are all born spiritual that is enough to me to let go of fighting hard to tell it as so
After that line of course
I don't require your acceptance
Just truth of the now

Close my eyes from the energies around my bed
Only for fear to come into my dreams
Songs and prayers were sung
Doors were latched
Devious schemes had been cunningly hatched
I needed to run but knew all attempts would be futile
Not knowing who to trust
Only hope was with the Lord
Kept with those who knew the way
Singing the songs reciting the prayers to keep evil at bay
Open my eyes to not know what hell could await
Just the dark and its hazy dotted screen
Back to sleep
I'll try for a more peaceful lightened dream
Although the sense of fear still remains
in close space proximity
to me