Always feeling never enough
And everything you do, will not be good
Its a hard battle and difficult prison to break out of

There are secrets, stories no one knows
We can be brave or happy on the face of things but beneath it all lie the fragments of learnt behaviours, enforced patterns, guilts, pains
Deeper feelings with meaning that tear at the soul
A want on the surface to be whole
Bleeding sorrows scratch
.....All along...
....the undertow.....

I feel it a pressure on my leg
Seems like the dog
But I know he's lying in his bed
Leg goes numb
Not again!
Trying to take hold
So I can't move or speak
I see myself turning over and call out but it's not how it is
I'm stuck still as I am
All will to liberate
Lucky this time caught it early
Grip loosens slowly
Nightmare in someone else's palm
Release for now
Present keep calm

The fog rolls in it covers the light
Darkness descends
Shrouded smoky night
Dark and cold
Chilly
Distant
Unfeeling it all
Til a voice inside says shine
Listen to the call
From heart spark
Lit flame
Grows brighter with each glowing frame
Expanding out to form and air
Hitting the fog filled lair
Glimpse of sun gaping through cloud
Dawn will break
Dissipate
Smoky
grey
shroud

She was stunning and beautiful
A pleasure to be graced by her company
So much care for others
Humble in her ways with a strength that complimented
I don't know how she managed to dance on that pedestal without falling off
Perhaps it was her grace and how she never took she gave
So much shook around her but she never need look down
A penchant for perfection
blessing all around

Painful heart
Worthless soul
If any love
God make me whole x

Nature struggles under soil
The ground is broken
Cracked and hollow
Seems little hope for tomorrow
However in the dying all can be transformed
Just need to nurture what little buds lay in hollowed ground
What once was lost can be found
A garden is made for growth
And all will bloom when time and condition
is set and right for both

He likes to tease and please
Faced away down on knees
Legs prised apart
Wrists and ******* pressed and pinned to wall
Fingers glide up inner thigh
Kiss lick and bite to neck as grip tightens in tousled tresses
Tongue to meet with mine
Shaking with desire as fingers tantalize
Connecting so deep inside
****** and throb combine
Sensations overload
Eyes behind blindfold
Well some things should be censored
Bound
to
withhold

Fears hold hostage
Confined *******

Lay me
down
Take
me
In your arms
I'm
yours

Sapphire skies
There's a little a blue behind those eyes
But there is more to you than that
Solid exterior on the out
Darkened hue
Though bright and vivid
The light shines through
You are of fine quality
A gem
To me
No mask
I see
you
Clearly

Look at me
with those crisp blue eyes
Kiss me
from
lip
throat
to
thighs
Work your way from bottom up
Smother me in kisses til I
Oooohhhh...
Shut
up!

Wish there had been peace on the beach
Rather than storming them in battle under siege
Military force
Deadly hour
Costing life
****** shower
All in all for land pride and power

Geometric shapes the mind
Aligning with the light
Divine

Doesn't matter who you are
Underneath the bruises and scars
We all want to feel
Good
You can pretend even at your bitter end
That you really don't care but deep down you know hurt brought you there
If we could live more lovingly
Would we
Feel accepted by others and self
See our beauty shine from within
In our hearts we can always begin
See our worth wrapped in delicate skin
The pain and wounds just make us human
We all make mistakes
That's how we grow
No need to deny
We are fallible
You are beautiful
Filled with love and light
Sometimes we just let the dark night take hold
Hope you find the strength
Great delight
Faith
To let deep hurts and anguish
go..

It's getting colder now
but all things change
We'll just have to keep warm
by the fire

He pulls her in close
Both stood in front of the mirror
He turns her around to see
He whispers softly in her ear
" I see it in you"
She replies "What?"
He replies
"Me!"

So much going on below the surface
The deep blue sea alive with activity
Constant to and fro
Life moving by
Darkness far reaching beneath deep blue sky
Illumination under murky depths
Some things yet to be discovered
It's no wonder when we are deep we can feel blue
Carried along with the waves
Will we meet clearer calmer waters
Right now
Float in this moment
Learn to go with the flow..

Must we travel
so far
to feel a love
so
near

Those years of head spinning were a maze to get through
Each day a struggle to do the basics you're so use to
Couldn't stand without falling to the ground
Sick so tired
Earth whirling shook me now
Even to rest was so sickening
If you were to sleep, when you were to open your eyes it would all begin
I found my medication in the words I read
Although that was such dizzying dread
Start small
Diet
Ginger to aid the ill
Tai chi to move the body balance bring to still
Yoga poses stretched the outlook
Exercise eyes following direction to all angles
Meditation and sounds to heal
Sometimes you feel you're not doing so well
But then you look back
And feel grateful more alive
to just be well

Song of a prison
Sings in every cell
Song of a prison
Knows far to well

To break these chains must crawl through
chambers
hell

Song
of a prison
Fits far
too
well
Shackles melt
with
the
heat

Bon voyage
Je vous recontrerai
dans mon coeur
A bientot
X

Reading about feet washing and at the meaning of Jesus and humility - wondered from the last piece poetry
Car outside parks up playing Angels " When I'm feeling weak And my pain walks down a one way street I look above and I know I'll always be blessed with love And as the feeling grows She breathes flesh to my bones And when love is dead I'm loving angels instead And through it all she offers me protection A lot of love and affection Whether I'm right or wrong And down the waterfall Wherever it may take me I know that life won't break me When I come to call she won't forsake me I'm loving Angels instead
That's the lyrics that were met
Maybe there's a message in that
or could be in my head

Meditation was deep
Hand came out of water feet washed on beach
Carried by the ocean dragged panicking into the deep
Pulled underground where hell is met
Down the dark caverns of pain and torment
Scrabbled back up
Gripped by an eagle
Dropped to the sea where open mouth of shark awaits feed
Into the mouth
Swallowed up
Somehow shot out
Back with the eagle flew to ledge to peer about...

Every day feel your love
See your heart shaped tokens in air nature and earth
When your warmth enters body overflow with joy
Well up inside
Cascade of tears fall cheek side
Faith for love eternal
Hope grace will
flow
with
life

I like to be on the ground
But usually my heads in the clouds when loves lightning hits
I blame the imbalances
Bring me back down to earth where I can be more positively balanced
I'll take a chance but I want to see both sides of stormy romance
Feel the energy is charged for this
Hot rocket dance 
                      or a tempered strike
                                best
                left  
              to            
                bolt

It's amazing all the hurtful words
we have wrote to ourselves
Once you've read them
Know how they felt  
Heal and transmute
Scrunch up the paper
Slam dunk them in the bin
Bit by bit
Peace by piece we can win
Feel whole again

Grateful for everything
Including the dark nights and painful lessons
So thankful for blissful blessings

Waves descend wash out this grain of body
Take me with you on your journey
Among the tangled reeds there is life
An abundance of life in your sea
Oceans of depth and tranquility
Creatures dive deep
Unknown species not all can see
Crashing upon rocks you take away loose debris
Swallowing it in your mouth
Spitting it out to come clean
There is so much to sea

A vast current to flow
with time
and
tide

If I am to be peaceful and centred
I must be able to stand in it in the face of adversity

Was in a dream
I picked up some flowers they had been set down on the grass as a tribute, mark of respect was the to take as remembrance of your own
I placed the flowers bright pink and yellow onto soft grass
You then came by
We talked some small talk, not much
You lay down alongside me
You made a rollie
Smoked away
I drew, the pencil was drawing grand buildings I let the pencil construct and flow with the scene
You looked on
You were nervous so joked, made up another smoke
I knew you had so much more to say
I did too
We didn't need to
...
I can feel you
.

Visions dance
Romance
Take the floor
As soon as they've waltzed in
spin around
audience view in awe
they step out
leave for the door

Don't know where I go in meditation
Mind drifts far, far away....
Breath of ashes of the day

Close eyes to the world
Look within
Place your hands upon your heart then we can begin
Feel the pounding of your heart
Feel how it beats for you
Each pulse alive for you
It wants you to live
Show it your love and admiration
Fill it up with compassion
Allow the love you have so readily given away be with you
You deserve to feel your own heart
Give yourself comfort and care as you would a friend
Let any emotions come to light
No judgement attached
Be there for self
Give self time to love and mend
Open your eyes to the world ......
and smile :-D
You are doing your very best <3

Surrender to the skies
Body contact open thighs
Give self to warming touch
Bask in glories sun
Euphoric afterglow
Apricate
Space
For  love

The dark was calling one way
The light the other
Turned to face the light
Although was in dark room under cover
Wish the battle would end
Can't we just rest in peace and not toss and turn at wits end
Try the very best to be good
But don't be misunderstood
Possess a dark side
Haunting presence cloaked black hood
Sinistrous beasts burden the night
Serpents living in blood
Can give a deadliest fright
However we may fear something ominous which could be of the light
Shift in hindsight
Just trust and keep the faith to stay right

When you left world shattered
Broken pieces
on the ground
Scattered around so far and wide I struggled to collect
bring homeward- bound
It was in those lost moments of having to find the missing fragments that I found parts that had been buried
I
dug
deep
Layer by layer top soil the dirt
Use for all that heap
Nutrients for
growth underneath
From the muddy deeps and the broken sheafs
I acquired glass bones
Still a little fragile but very much lending
support to
strengthen backbone

I was thinking about anger management
But I just told it to
*******!!

Sempiternal silence it sits beneath the words

The actions of the day

The thoughts left unheard

Peace and quiet

Rest within

Writing verse in gap in sleep
Last one about love light and holy trinity
I forget the way it goes now it was to form a triangle and say something along the lines of staying with the truth and seeing love in the face of the light of the holy trinity
the triangle was to shape words and bring together in unity
Unfortunately not in time to capture those exact thoughtful lines
Some I find the time some disappear into subconscious mine of mind
Shame I felt they were quite a poignant rhyme
I guess there's a jumbled gist to vaguely remind

Every night before my wake departs
I say a pray for you
I pray for family and friends to be protected and safe and I pray for you and your family too
Even though with your departure I was torn in two
I still pray for you
May love light and protection be a guide
surrounding hue

If I have Gods love do I deserve another
Too much want to find my lover
Can anyone really love me as if I'm enough
I try not to reach but my heart longs for love
I can't go back to what or whom once was
Soulful heart no love above
Howling winds a part
from a peaceful dove

Free spirited woman don't you stop
Your dance inside makes body bop
Fire to fire you just can't stop
Live the life of wakeful stock