The water may be clear but the glass may not
Sweaty fingers smearing the outside container
Muddying up our view of the clean flow  
Tipping away the contents
unless we taste its smooth
cool afterglow
Unclear glasses piled up
in the sink

Sweep up your troubles
Let the worries drift to the dust
Out from your home
Out on through
the gap
Up
unto the air
Floating away
on a butterflies back

The Grand Father clock tells the time of existence
Hands tick to the beat of our heart
Facing outward
Inside pendulum swings
tuned
to
the
rhythm
of the sing
Each moment now
On to the
next
Age chimes character
Beauty in antiquity
Admired by many
Fading... gracefully
Unto it's absolute  

Still striking as clock
stopped.  
Time goes on..

Just not to the same
universal
beat

I can't move
I'm frozen in fear
Paralyzed
Tangled
Caught in your ropes
Hands bound
Can't cry out
Can only see
Be witness
Vision in the dark
Cry
Out!
Over now
Til again my fear breaks
free

Exquisite in the light
Bask in deep clarity
Crystalline ball
What do you seek
Layers to explore
from
oceanic
sedimentary floor
Awash to the breeze
babies breath Lions Roar
Earth's silky pure
shore

These words that line the page
I've breathed bled and felt
Cut myself open on the edges
Spilled
Poured  
Knelt
Built up with the highs
Come
down
with
the
lows
Set words from chapters of spirit that only truly knows
Shelled out from the hollows
Pulled out from the veins
Dredged
deep
from
pits and gallows
Sprinkled
down
from
soft summer
rain
Meaning has come from places I wouldn't want to rewrite again
The poetry more than just a verse it's the healing to live
with this pen

I dreamt I was in a horror house
Each room a different torture fear and dread
The stairs a spiral it all came back to you there was no way out only to venture through
The creepy whispers began the ride
Stepping on from each curtain call
A man old and tall a vibe didn't much like or trust
I kept him close but up in front
Strange in manner and speech something sinister lurking dark underneath
He gave me some scissors can't recall why
He gave me the chills and kept asking for them back it felt off
Only once taken to the next level did I hand them back as I closed and held the door shut
A corridor rooms trimming the path
In one copulating couples frantic with lust as men lay chilling in  ice filled bath
A man with a blunt instrument and a heavy wielding axe
I need not know anymore organs wanted for guts and gore
Apparently victims decision to give it a go
Perhaps wrong choice of words as I left after hearing that
With side vision of bludgeon head whack attack
Not sure you could come back from that
Landing a lost women blind eyes dripping with blood I held her hand asked if anything to do if I could
Leading back to her room a grimace and laugh across her face she was able to see it was all a hoax but the ghost of true fate did awake and to that she met her match
Black mass taken as her deathly catch
Shifting shape to serpent came to me after that
I closed the door to her hiss
In I stood with a woman kinder now something lost some sorrow
felt somehow
Adolescence son they hadn't met in some time
Bound to the room with a presence that spoke but an object refusing to let go
We all spoke we made a plan to get out we all knew it's what we must do
Then I woke up to the sun

Inhale it in
Exhale it out
The air the breath from the universal sky
Without your pulse
Surely
I could
die
  
  I've felt choked for quite some time
Choking on my own
decline

Love is the fuel
that times
the rhyme

Light free and breezy
Warming in the midday sun
Vibrant roses spring to dance
with the world's pirouetting spun
Grass left wild and pretty growing to the sky
Touching clouds of white fields in open peaceful quiet
Rows of wildflower
as seas of
gold
Flowing to the notion of secrets and whispers that they hold
It was always
Divinely
Summer in her soul

Join
the dots
Draw the lines
Constellations
in
my
mind
Celestial imagery mapping a place among the stars
Inner workings
highlighting
where
you
are
Where
you
 roam
A
beacon
of
light
guiding
you
home

Music plays and hits internally
Chiming to the resonance of growing sound
The tone reverberates into the vastness of the sea
The waves dark and choppy
Plummeting deeper into the darker depths
Down down down past the ice cold layers into the absence a void
A black hole births to a blue ocean of crystal clear and tranquillity
In open air birds eyes fly to witness the waters clarity and whales underwater flight
Shadows and light flow
Polarity and connection
Body forming the bridge to spirit
Feelings come and go
Sharp pains to aches to numb and hollow
Wreck laying below on earth's bed
Restoration in the break
Cut out eye to replace with shimmering lake stone
A glass eye to reflect the world
A mirror
of
the soul

Apparition
In
which world
do
you
belong?

Hold on they say
Do what's right
Even in the blackest of night
Be the mother
The lover
The father to all
To care for hatred
To those who fall
Nurture your heart to give to mine
Healing the self can redefine
You grow your worth and ground if others
do cross the line
You are a lion
A lioness
An eagle in full flight
A bat sensing the cave without eyes sight
A tiger
Tigress
A dragon of fire
Breathing hard and full with will to fly higher
Though you feel the dirt beneath your feet
You sympathise to the troubled
Struggling merchant
Beggar on the street
You know your strength and where you stumble weak
You are tender to touch
but
your bold folds
Deep

Starting to feel so uncomfortable in my own skin
I could rip it off
But I won't
Guess I'll just have to learn to sit
           uncomfortably

In the place between sleeping and awake
Over the years I've seen many a picture
form
a face
Though looking back
I've never seen my own image staring back at me
Until now

It's my battle and I'll fight it
I'll hold the pen and I'll write it
I'll feel the surge and I'll rewire it
My mind to become a blanket of comfort
To know the fear and see I don't want it
The panic in my chest I'll rise and breathe above it
Watch the thoughts as the peak to the summit
Feel the warm glow on my skin
Take the scenery in
Place the war in both hands
Hold it to my heart  
and
love it

Those that feel and think too much
Just need the right person to talk to
Sometimes that starts with you

Pretty pools tranquil and still
Form peaceful and clear
But how did it get here
Built from the seas spill violent and free
Wild in face of adversity
Storms rage
Water sprays
Thrown to the rocks on unsettled days
Waves and waves marching with the current
Flowing over but true to form
Splashing over climates
Weathered and torn
In all its uproar
Pretty pools
were
born

I think about suicide
But I don't want to have to do this
all again

My memory is like

Wish I could speak of
Everything I've felt
Everything I've seen
The night
The light
The inbetween
The trials
Tribulations
Revelations
Paths plight
The journey
Going
deeper
Secrets
Dark soul fight
Dreams
Passions
Lessons of life
Symbolism
Synchronicity
Love
Illusions
Heartbreak
Isolation
Strife
Visions
Energies
Insights
Inter-connection
Outer world - inner mind
Our Lord Christ
Duality
Paradox
Destruction
Creator
Source of high
Health
Mental lows
Cosmic wonders
Cause and effect
As above
so below
Meditation
Attachment
Letting go..
Joy
Bliss
Happy state
Seeking
Searching
So much more
to know...
More
to
face

Dreams turn to nightmares
Feeling strong hold
The need to escape
Fighting to wake
Lifted to veil
Bed covered sail
Movement in the air
Horizon
fading
        away
Drifting to another
stay

Conversations numbed
Words
left out
Parts hidden away
Not through shame
Sometimes diminished misunderstanding
with less to say

Twisting vipers
**** your poison dry
Unhealthy fragments turn to ashes
Charming spirit of the sky
Feel the music
Sweet sentient lullaby
Heartfelt soothing
Cherished love
beyond
drawn lines
Gifted to remind
Inside
your presence
Deep with
mine

Back and forth
To and fro
Coming back to lift the heavy load
Box by box
Bit by bit
Drawing in more space to feel lit

The space to fly


To rise
above
it

Clinging crawling to the walls
Spreading as it's shadow veils this view
from next
Grieving muffled harrow
Blinding growing sight
Trying to shield the light
The light is seen
through
this
heavy machine
My eyes don't seem to see them crawling around
Raising look out over
heady
silhouette

Want me to love you??
Love yourself!

I'm naive
Who?
me??

I'm
selfish
So

Your love will fill me like an oil well
Slick and thickly
Ground
to
heavens
tell

Dark turns to light
Light faces dark

A light waiting to break
out
Placed behind these bars
This cell
Sometimes they peek
through
Some times they hide in the shadows

I've a thing with darkness
It holds me in its grasp
Reaching out to touch me deep
Cutting chippings from the rasp
Whittling to its root
Healthy stem is left to shoot
Raw edges growing into hedges
A border
Leading
to
the
dawn

You left
I wasn't ready
Were you ready to say..
goodbye
Now
separate in physical form
Connected
by
our
hearts

The waves bashed against the rocks
Pebbles Jagged
sunk
to
the
bottom
Ripples surrounded
Over
time
The stones were smooth

My love is your love
but is it
ever enough

You are the centre of your own universe
But can you
lie
between
dark and light

Why do we rely so much on paper to determine our worth
but we do

We are complex creatures wrapped in layers of tissue
Our blood stained heart paints our world
Does it bring us life or pain
Do we flood in water or dance in rain
Does the sunshine highlight our refrain or does it let us blossom to the spirits of our gain
Our eyes capture the beauty or misery of the developing film being played
We can choose to sit back and regain our composition or be brought into the drama again and again
With time not mechanical
We will learn
The love The turning inside our hearts
We are everything and yet nothing
From subconscious the conscious
parts

Don't just bury the pain
Mask it with pills
The trauma will still be there until you face the ills

The panic attacks are back
They want their power back
No control on the lowly soul
*******
You had your chance
Now the floor is mine
Let's
Dance

The house I live in I am grateful for
It has a room a place to put a bed
Warmth from roof to floor
Years gone by in this old home
A place to share have meals and have some space to roam
The problem is the damp and mould it grows and grows
It has been seen to but not fixed
A clean home would be lovely to breathe in fresh air
A garden for dog to run around without a care
Trying to push past comfort zones to have a healthy happy comfy home
It's difficult but we try
Know I am lucky in someone else's eye

My life is not the 'norm' I live with my dog and ex boyfriend
I've been asked questions numerous times on this subject. Usually well do you not want to get back together? We would be if we wanted to. How does that work? With patience and growth. Have you tried dating? Yes we have. Usually followed by a kind of understanding when others see life isn't conventional, or the I'm not sure I could be understanding of that situation. The latter makes me feel strange like I'm a bizarre  odyssey never to be understood or accepted by a future love. Then I come back to me feel the love I am and realise they are just not where I am, why would they understand? It all comes from your own perception and life experiences.  All I understand is two people loving unconditionally in good and hard times being there for the dog we both equally love. Trying to live our unconventional lives as best we can. That I can understand :)

Warriors of light
We are strong
We live
We learn
We love
We have learnt to see our imperfections as beauty
We have hang ups pains dark corners we don't always want to see
Into these corners we bravely peek and find the answers we may seek to find the strength to embrace each part from inner being to feeling heart
My body belongs only to me no matter what you choose to see
Even if I show all I have
That does not mean it belongs to you
Only intimately shared to a love that's true
As we learn
It all starts and ends with you

Each day a lesson new
Growth through low or high
Ears listen to the question
Thoughts answer journey a ride
Polarity comes together
Feeling both and one side
Breathing deeply on nows time
Conscious of elevators flight
Subconscious absorbing perceptions mind
Energies burning left and right
A balancing act to walk the line
Life of dreaming
Nightmares undermine
Take what's yours
I'll have what's mine
Oh no thanks, can I leave that behind
Let go to this it's holding too tight
Dance to this record
Rock in the night
Live with the light
Whats wrong?
This right?
Who can tell
Slipping on a magic spell
Heavens call
Hell Yells
Sometimes I take it in
Sometimes with peace
Sometimes it's too much
Choking to breathe ,
Release
Eyes see
Heart beats in love or waves with fear
I break sometimes
When I do
It's only weak you'll hear

Checklist
Remember to be polite
Remember to talk nice
Remember to smile
Remember to treat with respect
Remember to accept
Remember to learn
Remember to reach others in defeat
Remember don't cheat
Keep it clean and neat
But I'm not just a line
you see

Sipping on solitude fills up mind
Reaching out to another no compatibility to find
Want to be the self
Not falling behind
Hiding
Giving out only snippets to minimize the doubt
Eyes glaze
Mouth stout
Understand each path walks its legs
Understand not all can see from same view
Understand love for each other
Care for me and you
Glances come from different angles a window some times narrow or too wide
Home lives central inside
Let each have their place the knowing resides
Sometimes I just want to play from a mountain high
in the sky

In        

   the    

Breeze
          
Candles

Dancing

I used to live for acceptance and approval
I can't do that anymore
I'd still be waiting

There's a hole in my aura a scar I must heal
There's a burning in the solar an effigy to feel
There's a sorrow in my heart from the winters summer has concealed
My mind can plague or amaze
Thoughts can progress or drag sober or lag
Spirit flies above lack
Love calls me back