Snowflake and flowers sacred design
Come in the hours of daylights decline
Into the center
Coded mind
Level to the higher
Ascension climb

Images spring to mind
Mine or another's
Linked and synced
Sisters
Brothers
Passions
&
Lovers

I'm making some changes
Connection to nature and me
Less additives
More home grown
Organically

Real love leaves you in vulnerability
Cuts you to the bone
Shatters your existence
Crying on your own
It brings in a wound
A deep hollow weeping wide
A place you have to look into
A place you can no longer hide
Inner love your eternal bride
Hope it gets better next time

I thought about killing myself many times
Once when he told me the pills took weren't enough
A time when the oncoming cars felt enough
The bringing myself to the not good I'm not tough
The worst is the pain when feel not or never really loved
Your heart breaks you take what you should
It's a shame we deserve all we feel we could

Try to talk to them
It makes you feel so alone
They just don't understand
But we try

Awake in the dark again
listening to the groaning wind
  but it's actually light outside
Sometimes your eyes just need to adjust
The wind is relaxing from this current place

Whoever you intimately give and receive
You share your energetic connection with
That's why I'm saving myself

For me and for you

You've been haunting me
ever since my vision
Is it just a phantom
My spirit hopes not

I  could see your crescent shape
                        on the bottom of my coffee cup                      
    Then there you were in that night's sky

It's been hours and the tears still flow
Deep inside it hurts I know
It's all coming up and out
I lie down with this pain
It's been so long calling my name
Repeating all life's suffering to feel all over again
Feel like I've been punched in the gut
The throat is choked
Tense and afraid
Though spirit says you are ok
It's not a weakness to cry
It brings the emotions to light
See what's needed to be alright
Working out this life
Until it fades

I'm not even sure they know the pain they caused
Resentment built up inside
Was it ego shame pity or pride
Then set up a meeting to look through their eyes
Witness to the life cycle they live and try to hide
To see from another side opened up a box of compassion to wipe up the releasing tears that cried
Clearer understanding
of the why

I think so much
It drives me sane

She needed to feel vulnerable
So each time it happened
She felt secure

Hold up the mirror
See it staring back
What is it you have
What is it you feel you lack
Life is a reflected pool
The lessons in your hand
Sending ripples through the water
The viewing from across the land

A broken heart bares no scars to the eyes
You have to feel it
Then try again to open up
Closed little flower bud

I met him at a bar
An older man with old soul charm
Talking and he could see I liked to dance
He held out hand to palm
We whirled around as ballroom stars and time was all erased

Feeling you
Without sound
Without touch of physical hand
Silent kisses from your
loving mouth

Lungs bellow
Air feeds the skin
Push out breathe in
Push in breath out
Tension lessening
Thoughts passing
Tuning to space
within

Crown opening
Fibres tingling
Light flowing
Connection growing
Network sowing
Source threading
Weaving to it's roots
Nutrition returning through the shoots
Origin and earth to birth seeds core truth

Stretching out
Stretching wide
Stretching up
Reaching from inside
Posing in child to realign
Sending love to the heart body soul and mind

A lot of wounds coming up to be healed
The subconscious unsettling to bring up what you feel
The insecurities isolation loneliness and faults
Held under the microscope to be looked at at great odds
Suppression holds the ache for longer
Viewing makes
the
eye sight
stronger

Never felt a part of family
Only apart of

False smiles everywhere
Real tears rarely
seen

So often harsh on ourselves
Then take it out
on another

Small steps bit by bit
Just when think standing still
Look back to times the thought action being made to feel ill
A wasp hopped onto my held out finger as I let it out to feel the breeze

Sticky gooey muddy emotions bubble up to stir the ***
Fed by the spoon of the mixture filling with all you've got
Taste bittersweet more than enough to eat
So much to swallow
Take it in
Aftertaste sickly
Though helps you to grow
Pass me a drink and let it all settle before you let it go

As I lay in night
Your light guided me deep
You threw your almighty arms around me
Holding strong as the dark did creep
My eyes viewed the strangest things
My heart felt each beat
We flew together in dreams
This my soul
will
keep

Always looking to myself as worthless
Struggle to feel deserving
Couldn't look to the good
I was swerving
Weakness became my strength
Shrinking from the light
Hidden comfort in the dark
Feeding on fearful appetite
Worried to not get it right
Now I fail all the time
I try at least to fight
for the step into peace
and the calm in my mind

As eyes wake
The day soon as want to shake
Feeling low just want to hibernate or meditate
Not finding the pleasure in the things I use to

I love you as he drove away

I don't see a future with you to stay

No words as actions tore apart

Lines of lies flying out of mouth only filling up with insecurity and doubt

I'll see you soon

Your thoughts share the same air
It all stems
from
there

In detachment phase watched the world spill away
Saw objects just as they were
Love didn't hold it fell apart
Was lighter with heavy load empty heart
It was all matter but nothing did
Though hollow in a shell
Couldn't call out or yell
No point to that
Spent days alone shut others away
Knowing can never make anyone stay
I gave my self to the day
I felt no more than a speck on the floor
Thought it was all gone
Dried out
Kept going even with the doubt
Then the fear in my mind
Then the looking back to what was left behind
Hope and faith saving grace even when faith felt lost
I know everything can go but I know love can come back strong

I saw him
We were together on a beach
Me him and our kids
Then I opened my eyelids
And he appeared

Nothing is constant
in this life
except for change
and
everything is
impermanent
the only moment is now
but even as you read these lines
the moment has
                                        passed

Why are we so afraid to fall
Perhaps we fear
there being no one there
to catch you
What if it was different
  this
  time

Telepathy
It's all
in
my
head
He said

Keep walking with the sleep in your eyes
Down the stairs to where the projected screens reside
Speaking words from backwashed mind
Those ment to protect send you to lie in bed
Questions riddling your head
Forget it all

Today's a new day

Years have seen these tears grieve
For a little reprieve
Love came to me and parts of all that's seen
Washing myself clean pouring fresh opportunity
Cleansing away negativity in flowing streams
Arms curl to hold comfortably
Kiss the skin on bended knee
Resting in my arms

Messages to the dream
Signs of what they mean
Woman and man soon to be wed hand in hand
Mistrust towards man
Cannot comprehend trusting nature of woman
Chances are won't go to plan
That is all I see
Don't understand why he's doting so willingly
While she looks to him so openly

She feels so much
Deep in her gut
Some days feels like her hearts been stamped on and punched
Then thrown away
But when she smiles
Eyes wild
Excited child
The world comes alive
She thrives and dives into the cosmic flow of inspiration and amazement
What a glorious creation
Time to play and have some fun
Sharing the glow with every one
Touched by her ecstatic buzz

Together on the sands
Looking out
to the
sea
Present in company
Future became our reality

I've seen his eyes before
The shirt that he wore
The heart upon the sleeve
The deep kind soul
With an aching to grieve
He is a beautiful man so caring and mostly calm
Come on we are only human
As one pains the other soothes
An ointment for the compressed groove
Your love is strong

My hope
For
good

It's all in your head
The imagining
The thoughts you dread
The scripts you've repeatedly read
The what if
The could be
The we will see
Some times I reach for release
And follow my heart
Going in deep

Taken to bed
Melancholy fed
Numbness compatible friend
No thoughts all left
Then a glimmer
A spriteful spark as stars would dance in palace of dark
Faintly see fluttering be
Can make out wings now
Dainty intricate pair or pairs
Circular movement draws the air
Petite figures
Ethereal hair
Not an insect that can see
Fairies come visit me
Wasn't sure I did believe before
Now I know there's more
Hidden in plain sight
For sure

Got to keep on          
      pushing
          through
                  Or a
                        step
                           ahead
                                    and
                                           I'll
                                                 be
                                                   s
                                                   c
                                                   r
                                                   e
          ­                                         w
                      ­                             e
                                  ­                 d

Words they hold me
Grip and bruise
Times they have scold me
Times felt abused
It's all in your head
You're messed up
They are well respected you're mistaken confused
Voices to torment
All down to you
We know them so well
What you trying to prove
A dear friend to us
It wouldn't
It could of been you

How many times did you **** yourself
How many times did you let yourself die  
Did you bury it all deep just trying to get by

Tired now
Feel like I'm floating on a cloud
Bobbing up and down
Energy pulsating between flesh and bones
I could sleep more but I won't
Just lie here a little while longer as I write and watch the light and shadows of the skies drifting allure