I have a million scars
They all tell a different story
Some are small futile attempts at relief
Almost unnoticeable
but there all the same
They speak of desperate anxiety and release

Others are wide, gleaming red
Undeniably severe
Calling attention
To a mind once unwound
An attempt to destroy myself

Every scar is intimate
But up for honest inquiry
Of a genuine nature
An innocent curiosity
I will tell you about the scars
If you know how to ask

Thrown into action by a steady hand
I dance on flat surfaces
And defy sense of gravity
Catch the eye of lookers eye
Steady on, steady onward
I can't see a thing
The world is a blur
And I begin to wobble
Big clumsy strides
Try in vain to save balance
Three more desperate tries
Before I topple
Time tells imperfection
Momentum lost
Shows over
Spin me again, with a steady hand

I want to burn indignant
with flames of the pain I harbor.
Let them lick the faces of those who have cared to glance.
Singe their ****** hair
and inspire a sense of awe.
Because what I carry,
I don't think they comprehend
So fitting then,
In flames it ends.

Why not take a step towards recovery now?
I can step a away next, if I want to.  
A step might be my only way to find footing
in a space that wants to swallow me whole.
That wants my whole life for nothing.
For appearances and comfort in skin.

What is my purpose here?
The entertain?
To save the masses?
To connect through a bleeding heart
to all my fellow man?
Am I here to make a work of art,
or save lives of unspoken souls?
Is there any chance I can do all those things?
Or is this my inevitable fall?

I just can't out run this feeling
That comes at the end of my days
The creeping sums of my failures
Grip me hard and fast by the throat
Pills can offer numbness for now
So I take them liberally
But they're not a sort of answer
Just an artificial night's sleep

I was born too early
so I lived in artificial warmth
with no touch
and I have a feeling it left me
very prone to being alone
even in the presence of love and support
I stiffen like I did when I was a baby
and some one was trying to hold me
I was born to be alone