Almost everyday there is a time when
I quietly place my hands on my face
And let them slowly drip down my skin

as I think

"Oh God, what does my Dad think of me?"

Take me for what lies beyond these shining eyes of mine, she said
Beyond the properly placed smile, get in my heart and in my head
And see the casualties in life and how much I pray you won't be one
The beginners have ended too soon, I'm beyond just looking for fun

And she told me that the tears she'd cried were much more real than past-times laughing
Men seem to think she walks on water when really she is drowning. gasping
Pray for a silver knight who isn't actually a beast within
Hoping for a branch of hope amidst a forest of broken promises

And I told all that I could say, to her I could not tell a lie
Hoping my words didn't spark a moment where she'd break down and cry
And I whispered truths into her ear with honesty that was understood
Telling her I no a perfect man, but I'd love her like no one else could

I look upon these stained-glass windows
Hearing the words that've been echoing inside my head
As I walk down the aisle

Curtains flow down in a lovely indigo
Hearing the sounds of this church as if raised from the dead
As I walk and I smile

Barren sanctuary with cathedral ceilings
Fermenting in the silence of empty wooden seats
As I dwell in it all

Stone upon wood warms me with a feeling
I can hear the tile as it meets affectionately with my feet
As they rise and they fall

Call me again, Father, to the alter
Let me not stray as I whisper the Lord my plea
As I fall in the midst

Let me be as the Rock of Gibraltar
Under this roof, let me stand firm on my knees
A lighthouse in the mist

Her heart stopped for a little while and I swore I heard her smile
As I spoke to her thousands of miles away
She told me of her smiles and frowns, brought me through her ups and downs
Bringing me right to here and up to date
Sitting, pondering such things as cheese *****, waterfalls, and angel wings
And I laid there in the dark, just listening
Hearing people pass her by, I watched her laugh and heard her cry
With truths and lies, like tears on her cheek, glistening
For her fibs lied in her saying that love was fluff, a made up thing
And she would not, could not see her in that light
But I knew more than she let on, the girl who knew those words were wrong
A romantic hiding in the dead of night

A spaceman among all the stars, a long way from a blue sky
With lullabies inside recordings that are from long ago
Seeing reds of gas clouds through the window as they pass me by
The hum of the engines as they pass by many a moon's glow

And my eyes have seen all the wonders over and under multiple suns
As I travel each corner faster than the wink of an eye
Watching a dazzling ballet perform every day for a crowd of one
Shedding firework tears and sending me off with untold goodbyes

Fret not, I've yet to forget the grassy knoll that I once knew
In the days before the rocket's roar in the days long past
Within dreams I do dwell in the metal shell past the skies of blue
And the view of that blue marble someday just might be my last

You are really good at this.

I know you're right.

I belong in your arms if even for a moment.

Your body making demands of my smaller, but capable frame.

Don't pressure me.

I am better at this game.

I will just sit here on my computer.
Clicking and typing and trying
to be clever.

I will just sit here on my bed
Breathing and blinking and trying
to go to sleep

I will just sit here in this life
Trying and living and wondering
what is to be

I will just be here in this moment
Living and breathing and loving
every second of existence.

She walked in
with a group of other girls
and some older women
I can only assume
played the parental role
They were either
seniors in high school,
checking out the campus for next year
or college kids,
ready to move back home for the summer
Their voices, and their dispositions pleaded the former
but there was one among them
and Hot ****, she was looking good
A dark blue and black plaid flannel cardigan
covered loose fitting yellow top
and from a little above her waist
fell a teal skirt
made from some gossamer material
which had a split down one side
so that when she walked
porcelain flashes of leg lit up the room,
and lemme tell you about this walk in's hair
the color were brown and red meet
braided in the back,
the thick snake of hair
cascading down her left shoulder,
it was killing me,
So I watched,
and drank coffee,
and had my breakfast
and watched some more
knowing she was just a walk in
and nothing more
I sat my *** down
and went ahead and wrote her a poem

He met a girl called Mary Jane
she made his fears become
either ghostly apparitions
or waking nightmares
he didn't prefer one over the other
he knew that there was no difference
He met this girl
the summer before ninth grade
and she showed him a life
full of unseen wonders
the beauty of apathy and laziness
He didn't need anybody else
only that beautiful girl
she made him good,
made him better,
made him calm,
made him him
Dancing beneath a flickering street light
he soaked in the peace of the world
until it rose above him
a shaking mass of bleak nothing
which at least hid the world
of even bleaker negativity
Mary Jane was a good girl
but he had outgrown her sway
he would miss her
but truthfully,
he also
would not

There's a rag tag bunch
who live on the bus bench
outside of my apartment window
some of them know me by
"Hey you White boy,
lemme get one of those beers"
or,
"Hey you White boy,
lemme get one of those smokes"
a lovely bunch
they drink all day
and all night
and never get on the bus
they talk
and yell
and fight
and speak of women
the beautiful fairer ***
they pass around *** wine
hidden from the cops
in brown paper bags
or black plastic
they know the end of the line approaches
and they don't
particularly care