a true African queen
bore and raised me
with mighty prayers and tears
worked her fingers to the bone
desperate to keep my needs satisfied and more
always fidgeting over me
me ignorant and selfish
misused a mothers love and affection
i sowed with her tears
bitter sad lonely water filled eyes
now i reap with grey clouds
honor they mother the commandments say
me laughed and mocked it
my days are no longer laughing
tears wet my cheeks, mamma
please, i beg you
please forgive my selfish ways
a godly mother always praying
thank god

yes it's right, i am an abomination
created to gods own image
i am a gorgeous African queen
black, with ***** hair
fearless words, not watered down by lies, i speak
freedom my journey, never a servant
no other copy of me created

you look down at me
speak rough and loud
treat me like a beggar
down play my ideas
ignore my 150% at work

all this to keep me in my place
i pity you
your eyes tell it all, i need a beating to be put right
snake ***** gets kinder eyes
see how nice uneducated barbarian writes

keep me in my place?
keep me in my place!
keep me in my place

i had the maturity to stand behind my words
no apologies, no excuses, no doubt
you chose your actions and words
my reprimand by another
you could not face me
apparently not your style
you wrote it ! your words and actions
they shiver with cold
guilt got you ring-fencing, a meeting
my public disgrace and punishment
all laid bare
was my secret, to protect me self esteem
a quick death, swift and silent
you took my power
you felt proud, i showed her, she knows her place
you lonely old man
surrounded by bought smiles
retirement a true test
i pity you
don't be a coward now
be the maturity you claim to present
stand behind your harsh words
razor sharp
that rip to the core
pointless butchering
cold death stare is born
you claim righteousness
be proud, stand behind, no ! claim your words and actions

freedom in art
freedom in heart
freedom in expression
freedom of soul
deep understanding of expression
nourishing the mind
ever challenging
forward, keep moving, forward
freedom lived
freedom experienced
no words needed
the body moves, demand visible power
painful endurance for tender moment
graceful beyond delicate
captured in time, echoes for ever
what time, what space, its an illusion
eyes surrounded by deep dimples
flowing hair, expressing mouth
ooh how elegant the wine has become, well aged
the body demand respect in movement
the heart resilient
the mind always moving, wanderer
oh how beautiful the art of freedom

My Journey
once young i believed of a world made of ice-cream and chocolates
i believed in air castles
i dreamed of the tooth fairy
friends was best friend forever for life
long hair was important, weight unimportant
dad and mum was super heroes
the world was at my feet waiting to be conquered
volcano's erupted
wars came and went
people died and were born
poverty came and went
governments changed
i grew up, the chocolate and ice cream melted
i woke up in a sticky mess

what happened
i forget the most important ingredient of all
god my father, my keeper, my salvation and joy
as it all came crashing down and storms whirled he held my hand
even when i questioned my creator and accused him of doing a bad job
his love and dedication never wavered
thank heaven for that mercy

i've searched my life time for unmovable inner peace and joy
though i was a bad made when i could not find it
now i know
money cant buy
only god the father can lead you to it
only the father can restore my air castles, my world of ice-cream, chocolates, cappuccino and balloons
i left he tooth fairy behind
i was blessed with new better friends
and my super hero's was re employed :)
i am truly living my dream without the crowd, competitiveness, chaos and speed of modern life

the future awaits
my captain is at the helm
what more can a girl ask for

photos old and new
remind me of you
special moments only i know of
brings anxiety and alienation
i crawl into my corner and just cry
burry my head in my knees and elbows
here i will be safe behind the door on the closet floor under the bed hiding
i fear the world
i watch the world continue
tried buying a ticket
wanted to make you proud
now your crying
i miss my old life
wish i had a undo button
i miss you soo much
words cant express
my sadness
the world just moved on no pause
i often wonder what you would say right now right here
would you be mad at me for my mistakes
would you scoul me
would you just embrace me
what would you do
i think you will just hold me and promise everything will be ok from now on
you will press me to your chest and just hold me
some day well look back and laugh/ smile
on how silly i was
i miss you mum

EACH SUNRISE IS A PROMISE OF NEW
A CHANGE TO CORRECT THE PAST ,A WRONG LIFE
OUR SOULS REJOICE AT A NEW DAY
THE SEARCH CONTINUES, WE NEVER REALIZE THE ANSWER IS INSIDE
WE SEARCH FOR OUR CREATOR IN EVERYTHING, EACH ON THE SAME JOURNEY, DIFFERENT ROADS
WE SEARCH, OUR MASTER
TAKE COURAGE AND ACKNOWLEDGED
THE GOD OF ALL
NO GREATER LOVE EVER EXISTED
HE IS EVER PRESENT, EVER FAITHFUL
OUR SOULS KNOW HIS VOICE
OUR MINDS RESIST, A GAME WE PLAY

I ASKED HIM TO PROOF HIS AFFECTION FOR ME
WITHOUT FAIL I RECEIVED LOVE AND WAS MADE WHOLE
THE IMPOSSIBLE REALIZED IN SECONDS
NO DOUBT EXIST IN ME
I AM LOVED BY MY BELOVED
MY SOUL TIED ONLY TO THEE