OOH SHE GONNA TOUCH ME
A WHITE WOMAN I DONT KNOW
OHK WE CAN DOT HIS JST BREATH
DONT FORGET, AIR IN AIR OUT AND REPEAT
SHE TOUCHING ME
RUN !
THE VOICE SAYS NO, SHE IS A DOCTOR
SHE HAS TO TOUCH TO INVESTIGATE
THIS TO MUCH FOR ME, I FORGOT TO BREATH
ITS ONLY A MASSAGE, NO BIG DEAL

FINALLY! SHE IS DONE
UNTIL NEXT WEEK
WHEN I FREAK OUT AND FORGET TO BREATH, AGAIN

my heart bleed, my soul cries
someone walking the path i walked but mush worst need help
my cous reaches to his Bro ,but he to held on the past
the weaker one has fallen
oh god help please help
how can you turn your back on a mentally sick person
" i am struggling"
mental illness is a struggling, broke is a breeze
i know, i have seen the monster
we best buddies now, living together, cuddling and stuff
showing him back to the one that is braking him, destroying piece by piece
she doesn't care for him, if she did she would get him help
why am i the only one that sees
the self destruction coming
oh god! protect us
he screams muffled creams for help, no one cares, no one hears

money is not everything
mental health is

i wandered for a long time
among thorns, disease and death
no glimmer to see
feel the walls, feel the cave,it leads you out
i found many Christian doors
locked with big heavy chains
you preach "come Ye weary"
to locked door?!
Christian followers preach beautiful
words divinely chosen for impact
no temperature ever checked
walk among bibles, oil and cloths
dance in praise
blow the battle horn
But But But
who sees those wandering in the dark standing before closed doors for help

closed doors mean" banishment to the Barron out field
red sin covered land
mercy irrelevant
demanding cruel deity
pleased with nothing
pushes self destruction
cries are stamp on
more pain more glory
damage soul the goal
your pleadings are laughed and spit upon
the glorious hellish Barron outfield

do you allow this dear reader?
do you have closed doors?
i lived in the outfields now i'm home thank God
my Guardian through prayer opened a door for me
now i know, now i know
follow the true Christ

upon marriage your blood signs a covenant
with a firm i do
before god and the community
upon my 1st breath a covenant was signed
you want praise for a physical abuse free home
how dare you
marriage described as playing with the mouse
your plaything taken by god
he gave you, he took away
you didn't keep your covenant
you broke and destroyed a young woman
she died in a gilded Gage
no-one knows the truth, you think
i was there
i saw, i remember, small but present
emotional abuse rang the bell
i begged for divorce from you
many a time
you married "your" mother,
she married" her" father,
one contract different expectations
a broken covenant
children are a gift from god,
my sisters both died, i lived
i was/am nothing in your eyes
the covenant

the covenant
a precious reminder of gods enduring love
never wavering always the same
each generation
constant and faithful
written in in ancient language of the stars
upheld by blood
not black on white
birth is the seal
the contract cannot be void
even in death
responsibility , accountability follows
a shadow watching, recording every mistake, every achievement
humans cannot keep there word, god always keep
punishment is sure
only saved by repentance
heavenly beings lost touch with the true source
became earthly citizens

to page a book
pages covered with words in black
my inner  most translated into words
touching the paper formed by a pen point
awakens my soul
a fire always lit stokes by seeing how far
how far i have come to this
words are my life
my existence, cannot be without
drinking warm milk to sleep
with my teddy like a youth relived
alas this how i need to cope with tomorrow
my inner most private thoughts on paper
just for me to read
daily practise to become greatness
determined by my journey
the only hope i have left is my words

maturity admired exaggerated by far
assumed mutual care
me, stepped on Satans tail
ignoring elder warnings
believing Satans whispers
building, dreaming forging forever happiness on a whisper, sweat whisper
i enjoyed the dripping yellow whisper
smooth clear honey, flowed
my deity please remember me think me
i Begg for my soul, please mercy
please release my soul
ties that bind, please destroy
by faith alone, a righteous prayer
my redeemer lives
standing on faiths shoulder, my enemies crumble and fall
father please forgive an ignorant youth no more
old spit out toy, emotionless
the road is hard, please carry me
by faith alone, by faith alone