you really make me swoon for you
weak in the knees for the idea
that you would choose to be mine

my eyes sting with tears of
love, kissing my cheeks and embracing
my face in a cover of water

the tears streak down my face, dripping
off of my jawline and falling onto the
peanut floor, flaking off into oblivion

the floor leads to the door, wide open as
the possibility of returning to him
completes itself, and goes out with him

speechless in the fact he could be mine
but could he be with another?
doubtless that he would be able to get with
another. if he isn’t, do i have a chance?

secure in the will of god to keep me on
the straightest path, but what if he’s on the path?

there will come a time, my friend
where you’ll look back on that
road full of bumps and potholes
whole, being able to look in the mirror
and see yourself, not shame, not despair
just you wait

hit me while you look
at me with those doe eyes
strike me on my mouth
where i spew lies saying i don’t like you
cease my heresy and burn me
for speaking against the truth

my hands burn with the sting of nettle
my mouth, dry and tasting of metal
his lips, scented with chapstick and chocolate
overpower it, taking authority over my
mouth, his eyes establish an orbit
around me, and my life

scared shitless of the idea that
in a month i’ll probably never see
him again

a constant in my life ever since year 7
someone who awoke something in me
allowing me to see who he is
what am i
without him anchoring me
like a drifting ship to shore