It was so very long ago.
The world was full of hats.
In the spring the hat maker came.
She pinned her felts and silk
to my mother’s head.
Added feathers and flowers.
My mother would be beautiful
for the Easter parade.
I tried them on when she was out.
Until my head became too big.
One hat in each box
Representing one more Easter.
Then when the chemo took her hair
We sat outside of her bedroom
The hat lady came for the last time.
She left solemn and quiet
Her eyes cast to the floor.
We all went in to see her last creation
On her head a beautiful
hat with flowers
and ostrich feathers.
Her head perfectly covered
Not a sign of her lost hair.
And that was the last time
I saw her smile

My tiny flat is  old and dark.
All I the furniture I got in the split
looks out of place here.
She took most everything.
I do not care she can have it all.
The only thing I wanted from her
was her love and my daughter.
She has taken both of these things
to another man’s house now.

She drops my teenage daughter off .
for my weekend.
My daughter looks reluctant,
giving me her disinterested look.
But realizes she will have to stay.

My wife looks well and very beautiful
I close my eyes for a moment.
Remembering her long hair
falling on my bare chest
in our bed as we made love.
She turns and leaves
I notice her shapely legs so ****.
I want to say honey please don’t go.
But I bite my lip instead.

My daughter has a new
tattoo on her shoulder.
And wears Goth like makeup.
My God! What’s happening?
I am cringing
at the miserable time ahead.
Teenagers don't care about anything.
I don’t think we have anything
left in common anymore.
She ate nothing at supper

I go to bed early.
She hears me weeping softly
in the dark.
She comes into my room.
Saying nothing.
She cradled my head
to her small breast.
And kissed my forehead gently.
Then softly she whispered
"Its ok dad,
you are going to be just fine
You have me.
and I will always love you"
That was the moment when
my heart stopped breaking

We laughed all day
at a silly song.
You threw my homework
In the pond.

We laughed so much
I peed my pants
In a pool upon the floor.

Our childhood passed
so fast, so fast.
I wished it would never end.
We were more than best of friends.

After finals you threw your *******
from the window of the car.
And then I threw out mine.
We got a ticket from the policeman
And laughed as we paid the fine.

Then we both got wedding rings
Our bellies grew and grew.
How fast the time did fly
You laughed and laughed
And said at last
We finally learned how to multiply

In business you laughed
your way to the top
Who would have guessed
You were to be the big success

Then on 9/11 the planes came down.
And the towers turned to ash
You died and my world
is now a sadder place
Oh God!
How I miss your laugh.

A  Rainbow over New York
Come September


September 11 2001

As a little girl in grade two
he sat next to me at school.
I always liked him.
no much more than that.
Later in high school
we walked home together.
He would carry my books.
At graduation he was my date.
We even went to college together.
That was when we broke the chains
of friendship and he became my lover.
My first and only love.

We married young
it was no surprise
to our parents
they were expecting it.
Before I knew it
we had three kids.
Two girls and a boy.
Our son looks just like him.

It was just like any other day
He came home from work
Cooked burgers on the barbeque.
We got the kids to bed
drank a glass of wine
went to bed at ten.

He wanted to make love
but I was exhausted
the kids had been terrors all day.
The next day he kissed me goodbye
With a see you later honey.

I got a call from my friend
She said put on the TV
I saw the towers fall
Turning to ashes
Like my life did that moment.
All I could think was
I wish I had made love
to him last night.

September 11 2015

The children are all grown up now
He would be so proud of them.
I look at my strong handsome son.
He looks like him exactly
We stand at ground zero
and say a prayer.

I whisper it was always you honey
Only you.
As if by magic he answered me
A giant beautiful rainbow
Circled over New York
And I know for sure
it was for me.*

The big story everyone knows
it's the tiny dramas that stay
forever.
Jude

Ma'am
A Story
By
Jude Kyrie


Ma’am

I remember the first time I met her
At the orphanage.
I was a lifer.
Who adopts fourteen
year old boys?
Apparently no one.

She was beautiful
and had the most angelic face.
Oh! her smile,
it was like sunshine.
Unsure of how to address a Nun
I always  called her Ma’am.
She did not seem to mind

I think that was when I realized
she was the only friend I had.
What I did not know was
I was falling in love with her.
That confusing rite of passage
from Boyhood to Manhood.

I have never seen
as much kindness
before or since.
It flowed from her.

She stopped me
from running away again,
and taught me
how to read books
great books
by important authors.

To learn poetry
and to talk about
its meaning.
At this point I knew I loved her.
She took me to the mission where
the homeless lived and we served
in the free kitchen.
I would have followed her anywhere.

She was relocated
after a couple of years.
To a mission in Africa.
I was desolate
Begging to go with her.
I even asked her to marry me.
She smiled and  said
if she was free
she would marry me
in a heartbeat.

But explained gently
to my young heart
that she was already
married to her faith.
Showing me her gold ring.

She died a few years later
her letters stopped coming
It was a bout of malaria.

Now when I feel alone or sad.
I open an old shoe box.
the only thing I took
from the orphanage.
And read her stacks of letters.
one by one.
Always in the order
that she sent them to me.
And as usual
I feel warm and safe again

>Letter From a *******

Mom Its me your son
don’t turn away
stay for a minute please.
Try to understand me.
You see me now
looking like the daughter
you never had.
Sometimes as the daughter
you never wanted.
But it is still me here Mom
I love you so much.
I know you think I am ridiculous
in womens clothes
but it is who I am.
I love Men
Just like a woman does.
I have a partner who loves me
more than gold.
It is a world of gender neutrality
but still I need to have a place
in your heart Mom.
I am knocking on your door mom
Please let me in
Give me a chance to love you
Don’t turn away
Don’t Go
I need you
Love
Your Son Joe

In my heart there’s a room where you linger
Soft shoulders where I go to cry
The a crack in a dark shuttered window
And a tree where the nightingales die.

A sliver of fading moonlight
falls soft on a valley of green.
My heart wants to drown
in your pure light
In a place where true loves never been

I want to light up your faded parlors
If you look you will find me there
I will be wearing a coat of forever
A rose growing wild in my hair.

But you fade in a darkened barroom.
Where men go to die of the blues.
All I bring you are two dozen teardrops
To pour on your soul to bloom.

I know now
what it all means.
Why did no one ever tell me?
When I was just a little girl.
That boys with china blue eyes
and long dark eyelashes.
That smell of cigarettes.
And taste like summer rain.
And whisper sweet words
like the roll of spilt quicksilver.
Are the reasons
why
my pillow is so wet.
and my poems
have tears.

The morning light cascades
into my dreamy sleep.
he lies next to me
I am enfolded in his arms
like angels wings.
his eyes as blue
as the wild Montana sky.
I still love him.
and despite the frightening
complications of love.
I will stay with him
my body now an altar
for him to worship.
I am no longer a permission
but a sacred right.
as I will worship
those eyes
that smile
and his angels wings.

You are so quiet and gentle
never loud and brash.
I feel so comfortable with you.
so safe.
she said
some men have auras
like searchlights
a blinding bright beacon
that lights up the sky.
Yours are like tiny lights on
a Christmas tree thousands
of them welcoming the season.
And I have always loved
Christmas trees
she whispered.

He was always chatty after making love
He said to her in his expansive voice..
I want to skydive from a plane.
I want to paraglide from a cliff top.
I want to climb the sheer rock face
of the Himalaya's
I want to take a diving Bell
to the deepest part of the ocean.
I want to all this before I am thirty.
She held him close to her
Her softness exquisite and lovely
he melted into her.
She said to him
If you want to do something
that terrifies you to the core.
Why don’t you just marry me.

The Stargazer

She saw me looking at the beautiful night sky.
You seem fascinated by the stars she mused.
They are more fascinated by me I said.
We understand each other
The stars and I.
They see me as the one who makes wishes
I see them as the stars who fail to grant them.
People think stars are made of fire and power.
But they are only made of lost dreams
and unanswered prayers.
Which one is made of your wishes?
she mused..
I show her the brightest star in the heavens.
The starlight pouring from it
like a waterfall.
It is that one it is on fire
with my wishes.
They are all about you
Doesn’t that make you a star

The train from London to little Ashbury
stopped at the same signal every day.
I always got in the last carriage
it gave me a few extra minutes
to drink the  three cans
of Gin and tonic I had in my purse..
The only other passenger
was a young man
Who was blind
so he could not see me drinking.
We seldom spoke other than
nice day or good morning.
I was feeling guilty because I was
I was thinking how convenient
it was he could not see me drinking.
And now after the divorce two years ago
I had gained weight and looked awful.
I was glad he couldn’t see me anyway.
Not like this.
I had not eaten all day just
Wandered about the city
Drank in Hyde Park by the serpentine
and meandered through the bookstores.
I had lost my job six months previously
after coming back late and drunk
from a three hour lunch.
But I still kept going to the city
on the same train every day.
As though it would like
I was still useful for something
other than drinking.
I was tipsy I know it
I fell from the train at the station
and cut my knee.
The Blind man found my arm
he lifted me up
and said Are you all right?
I lied and said yes I will be fine.
But he insisted on getting me a cab
and taking me home.
I let him in my small flat and he bandaged
my knee and sat with me.
He chatted about everything
he was really interesting.
He was blinded as a child
looking at the eclipse.
through binoculars.
He was so sweet and gentle.
He softly asked me why I drank so much.
I glowed red how did you know I asked.?
He said he could hear and smell the *****.
I told him everything
the divorce my drinking my job.
He held me as I sobbed on his shoulder.
You are too beautiful to be so sad he said.
How can you tell what I look like I sobbed.
I can feel your beauty inside you
Its stunning he said.
He stayed with me overnight.
I did not drink.
And the next morning
I felt clear and sober
For the first time in forever.
He fixed breakfast.
He came back the next night
and I let him in.

A year later

I have not drank in a year
I feel it would be
cheating on my husband.
we got married a month ago
I lost 35 pounds
and I look like I used to.
The weight will be coming back though
Our new baby is due in seven months
and her Daddy needs me clean and sober
to describe her every passing achievement.
I love him so much
he says I am his eyes
I say he is my heart.

When she threw me out
it was my fault I know.
The drinking had started again.
I slept in the car for days.
Locked out at night.
Yet still I drank.
My job was lost.
But not as lost as me.
I remember waking
in the drunk tank.
I was ***** unshaven.
And my eyes were hollow.
She paid my bail.
I saw her through the bars
of the cell.
She was so beautiful.
And so clean and pure
Just like I remembered her.
She whispered quietly
"I always loved you."
"I still do."
I felt so ***** and ashamed
I needed a shower and shave.
But living rough is hard.
I quietly said thank you
I love you too.
She touched my cheek
softly with her finger tips
like she used
to touch my skin
when we made love
in our clean bed.
She had tears in her eyes
As she saw what I had become.
She said softly
You know
I lost our son as well.
I turned away
so she could not see
the tears in my eyes.
And I stumbled away
to that signpost
for the town of oblivion.

I can't remember exactly
when i fell in love with you.
it was back in middle school
that awkward time
between boy and man.
i never told you of course.
i was too quiet and yes shy.
time has passed by so quickly
i am grown and finished with school
and college as are you.
i am still in love with you
i think i always will be
but if i try to tell you
the fluttering starts
in my heart
like a butterflies wings
or a feeding humming bird
the words stick in my throat
and the years of speech therapy
i endured waste away to nothing.
and my stuttering returns
just like it was at middle school.
And i know I will never ever
be able to tell you
how much I love you.

Life through a puppy's eyes


*Her new sofa does not smell of me.
I could *** on that.
Shes gone out
and left her computer
bag in the hall.
I could *** on that.
Her new boyfriend is sat
on my spot on the sofa.
I could *** on him.
Now she's got me on her lap
rubbing my tummy to make up
for everything.
I could *** on everything
I said above.

You are the sun
lighting  my days
with your
warm sweet light.
I am the moon
brightening
the night for you
with my soft
blooms of stardust.

She thought love was a firestorm
in an otherwise calm day.
Then the boy with the golden hair
flashed his eyes of ice blue
followed by a smile
that took her breath away.
Then all the words of love
she had kept inside her heart
poured like champagne
with clarity and effervescence.
And her doubts and fears
burned to ash
and scattered
far into the night sky.

Have you ever
been house hunting.?
looking at place after place
ready to give it all up.
Then opening the door
of the last one
and getting that
warm fuzzy feeling.
I love it
this is me
I could live here forever.
Well that's how I felt
when I walked
into your heart.

The Star Collector

a poem

by

Jude Kyrie

I am writing poems
to the ghost once more.
The ones that wail in the space
where my heart once lived.
Where sadness dwells in oceans
and longing drowned in their depths.
Let the ink spill in blue words
like veins onto the paper.
Once you collected all the stars
From the galaxy.
You pressed them into my eager hands.
To guide you through
All the darkness of life you said.
How could I ever stop the gods
from taking you away?
The one who could collect stars.
When you left I folded my heart
into a love letter.
And slipped it quietly into your soul.
To take with you to eternity.
I promised myself to stop
writing to the ghost.
But they are all the
comfort that remains,
So I write to them one more time.
As the dying embers of your stars
fade in my hands one by one

Seasons of love
Winters Child

by

Jude Kyrie

The cool winds of the Rockies
sent a chilling snow covered winter.
For me the pristine Canadian snowfall.
Was a season of joy and love.
In our small cabin my love and I.
Filled our needs in each other.
Me fat with hope and joy
and you my sweet baby girl.
With the late spring of the mountains
everything was sown for summer.
But you were here with the new lambs.
We celebrated life’s renewals together.
The animals and me.
It fills me with amazement the newness
of the earth in the cool spring days.
I shall cover myself in warm blankets
In another far off winter.
Another season of love.
And I shall sow once again

In Safe Places
A Valentines Poem
by
Jude Kyrie

Tonight I will roam
around the chambers
of your sweet heart.
It is the safest place I know.
Full of  memories
and photographs of us.
Here is your first glance.
Do you remember my love?
So fateful and inviting.
was that a smile you wore?
I never remembered that before.
Just the yet  unfulfilled promise
and invitation it held.
In your arms
I now live in my safe place
The home that fate saved for me.
You hold the only key
I do not need one since
I will never leave this place.

I feel your arms
around me so safe
Never ever let go of me.
My heart is open
its locks undone.
It beckons you inside it
To live in my sunshine
To feel every beat
as my blood flows.
Reassuring safe and loving.
Let us live
inside each others hearts
forever my love.
Forever In our safe places.

Happy Valentines Day
My Angel
Love
Jude

Between the heatwave and the storm.
Is the sultry humid air drenched in water,
unable to hold its moisture
for a second longer.
It's heat now unbearable.

A moment of silence beyond stillness.
In the distance night
the thunder is grumbling
like a faraway avalanche.
drumrolls are miles from here
but coming now.
The darkness shining
with the rain bouncing high
from the pavement.

Electrical discharges
crackle as the air explodes.
Looking out of the window
at a cataract of waterfall torrents.
The buildings of the city distorted
like reflections in a hall of mirrors.

Inside the air conditioner creaking
And groaning at its impossible task.
The thunder is now overhead
Filling the room with odor of ozone
In the streets water flows
in rivers to the
overloaded storm drains.

The coolness after the humid air
is drained feels so wonderful.
The air now pure and purged
like a soul in a state of grace.
I think if I ever have to die
I want it to be in a storm like this.
Naked in the rain
as it washes away my sins.
And my maker
roars his forgiveness.

The jungle was speaking to me
in its ceaseless
chattering of the night.
The predators here
are not animals
they are humans
they have guns and weapons
to which there is no defense.
Only survival is to attack first.
Is that the real
law of the jungle?
I think of my father.
what would he do?
He always knows
klwhat to do.
It occurs to me
how much a boy
needs his father
in such bad places.
The rain of gunfire
chatters like fireworks,
tracer bullets leave
a glow in the dark night.
almost pretty to watch.
I should not be here
I am eighteen, why me?
I never won a lottery
but my draft card
came up lucky.
for someone else.
I stand up as the offensive
increases in its intensity.
The bullets rip
across my chest.
I am falling
no pain just silence
beautiful silence.
The last breath I take
is gifted to the woman
that bore me.
I whisper
I love you Mom

Remember my love
I asked you for the dance
so many years ago now.
More years than leaves
blowing in the fall wind.
I was fascinated

You saw the glow in my eyes
all that my poor heart
could not conceal.
You could see I know
I was just fascinated
you were so lovely.
All that I ever wanted
All I ever needed.

Your hair had the
fragrance of moonlight.
Your head rested
upon my shoulder.
Your eyes closed
my lips kissed your hair.
we waltzed to Nat King Cole
His velvet voice crooned softly.
It became our song my love
Fascination
Always Fascination.

i can close my eyes
even now my darling.
Come dance with me once more.
On our kitchen dance floor.
I will sing fascination
for you my angel.
Softly in Nats whisper
And let me tell you again
How my fascination
turned to love

I sing it low and sweetly
For my forever love.

*It was fascination
I know
Seeing you alone
With the moonlight above
Then I touch your hand
And next moment
I kiss you
Fascination turned to love

At the summit of the
windswept hill.
She stood facing
the fading sunlight.
beautiful and serene.
the wind blowing
through her lovely hair.
She told me
she was a fallen angel.
That her wings
had been taken
away by heaven.
She said she would get
them back one day.
Then teach me how to fly.
Way above the mountain
high above the moon.
It was a sad
yet beautiful untruth.
She held out her arms
and enfolded me in them
like her lost wings.
The beautiful fallen angel
with the sunlit hair
and eyes as blue
as a summer sky.
the only one
who can make
my lonely heart sing

The book of love is singing
all of loves sweet songs
it's pages turn so sweetly
the stories old and long

I watch you by the firelight
reading that book again
lighting up the dark night
reading to me loves flame.

I love it when you read to me
of loves of long ago
with words that fall as softly
as the gentle falling snow.

the music in the book
sings songs of loves refrain
I hear your sweet voice singing
oh sing to me again

never lose that book of love
your stories never grow old
I love it when you read to me
more than riches wealth or gold

The Girl who spent heartbeats

Her currency was heartbeats
She only shopped with time.
She paid for things with seconds
As she waited in a line.

You cannot put heartbeats in a money box.
To save for a rainy day.
You either use them or you lose them
Heartbeat’s are made that way

She would spend heartbeats on strangers
As they shared their troubles and woes
Because kind hearts are worth more than riches
And go much further than money goes.

She would spend a heap of heartbeats on moments
Visiting old and precious friends.
Who wondered how she was so happy
With so little money to spend.

But money only buys possessions
While heartbeats buy much more.
They buy  you friends and love and laughter
And a warm  smile at every door.

It a fact you can’t buy heartbeats
When you have used them they are gone
So spend your heartbeats wisely
For one day you will have none

The last of the moonlight


The blush of moonlight is in full bloom.
It has arrived in joy and celebration
of your magnificent life Mom.
All your trials and worries are fading away.
Like shadows in the glow of morningtide.

Hold my hand Mom feel my love and gratitude.
Let it be the last farewell for us my mother.
Even the trees fade quietly in the autumn
Letting their leaves fall in silence
So gently as they float in the winds.

The cycle revolves
about the wise old moon
I fold up my heart into a letter of
Love and gratitude
and place it into your soul Mom
to read again and again
in infinities timeless space.

I feel the softness of you
In my fingers as you slip away.
But I shall not shed tears
As you fly to the heaven you deserve.
They would only be shed for me
for the short lifespan that I have left
without your smile.

Instead  I kiss the lips that
Kissed me in comfort and love
Since I was a child.
And whisper for the last time.
I love you so much Mom.

No I shall not cry.
For tears are not the way
for us to say goodbye

Rest Well My Beautiful Lady
Jude

4am Thoughts

*Tonight the light of a tender moon
Blooms like stardust in my bedroom.
I think of happy people
not people like me.
They are lay under silk sheets
In a sleeping embrace.
Her softness comforts him
Even in his dreams he feels her.
The soft breathing of their sleeping children
makes the night even more tender.
In the waking morning
Their children will go to school
She will kiss her husband
As he leaves for work.
With a have a good day honey.
And the world is all
as it should be.
The dream fades
It 4am again.
And I am lay here sleepless.
Alone In my bed.
Thinking about
a beautiful woman.
That I should have stopped loving
a very long time ago

He was lonely he knew this
Even though he had the five children.
she had gone
her sickness  had won.
She tried so hard
to keep it from him.
But he knew……
.....he knew.
He had resigned homes himself
that no one else would ever
take her place.
Not the space
in his heart that she held.
That was timeless just for her
only her.
But he was lonely.
It had been three years.
A man was not designed
to live alone.
The lady next door
had just moved in.
She had three children
and he saw no husband.
She was very attractive.
he sighed
but who wants a man with
with five kds.
Apparently no one
his last on line date
stopped in her tracks
when he mentioned his five kids.
She made an excuse
to visit the ladies room
and never returned to the table.

He was sat in his hot tub
the kids asleep at last.
She appeared in front of him
holding a bottle of wine.
Mind if I join you she asked.
He looked into her beautiful eyes.
Not at all
but I am naked he blushed.
I was not expecting company
he explained.
She slipped her robe off
and she was naked too.
She stepped into the hot tub.
Naked as he was.
Don't get the wrong idea
she warned.
I wont he sighed.
fate had dealt him him a losing
hand with the ladies.
Well what do think she said
courting a complement.
He whispered softly
almost blushing.
You have beautiful breast.
She smiled
and said
do you ever get lonely?
He answered
only when
my five kids go to bed.
May as well lay
the naked truth out now
five kids.
Are you lonely now?
she asked.
blushing he nodded yes.
very lonely.

A year later

They were having
a backyard barbeque
two of their nine kids
had a birthday on the same day.
The ninth was a tiny baby girl.
Thier new addition
to the tribe.
she watched him.
He held her like gold
in his arms.
It was obvious
he loved her so much.
She said I love you honey
so much.
He looked up into her blue eyes
noticed the grey specks in them
that took his breath away
almost every night.
And said
Not as much as I love you darling.

Amillion miles away
in another universe
.That knows no
darkness or pain
his wife smiled
and blew him a kiss.
whispering
thanks for looking after
my babies my love.

The Starchild

She was sat on the lawn.
The inner city park an oasis
from the August heat steaming
from the searing concrete buildings
of the old city.

I opened my brown bag.
And ate my sandwich watching her.
From the surrounding woodlands
the wild animals
had congregated
at her feet.

Almost like a class
of kindergarten children.
She was talking softly to them.
From the distance I could see
they held no fear of her.
And soon neither did I.
how could I?

Curious I sat down on the grass
in my business suit.
With the rabbits and squirrels.
She said to them the sky
was the roof of our world
as we know it.
But also the floor of eternity.
That she was a starchild from out there.
And her spirit plays in the sunlight.
Far above
in the land of starchildren.

She said at night she watched
them play through her open window
far into the starlight above.
Where the light was pure and timeless.

The sunlight caught her hair like a halo
For a moment I thought she was an angel.
She said she will return there one day.
And her being would drift
from star to star
exploring everything.
Seeing wonders that did not exist here.
She would visit
every single one.
Since she would have
an eternity to do it.

She does not come
to the park since
the fall arrived.
and the golden leaves
blew into the cool winds.
the park now seems
an empty sad place.
And in my heart
I miss her.

I lie here alone in my bed
it's 3am and I will not sleep
again this night.
I feel a poem starting
it's a single thought.
a moment of remembrance.
a tear of loss.
a color of sadest blue.
But it begins.
A hum a thought a need
far beyond tiredness.
Beyond sleep.
Beyond loss.
it comes in the night
quietly.
Yet demanding.
tonight a poem
will be born.

Today is the day of rest.
The Sunday repose.
But we shall be busy
my lover and I.
We shall cook together
a gourmet meal
of music and romance.
lie outside in the
shade of a linden tree
spread out on blankets
drinking the heady nectar's
ot the summer wine.
We shall eat too much
drink thirstily of the wine.
to fulfill our spirits
need for rebirth and tranquility.
The songs we will sing
to natures soft anthems
will be sweet and gentle.
When we return
Renewed and new
to our home.
The evening shadows
will fold over our
nestled entangled bodies
as we are centered and fulfilled
once more.

The Alchemist
A Poem
By
Jude Kyrie


*The morning is cool for midsummer
it’s too early for the warming rays of the
Golden sunlight to reach the surface
of spaceship earth.
Yet over the lake in the horizon
a kiss of a breeze on my cheek
promises a glorious day ahead.
Then the giant globe of the suns orb
Lifts itself over the rippling pristine waters
of the Canadian lake.
It sends the very first rays of light
in streams lighting
Dewdrops nestling on the leaves
of the shoreline trees like teardrops.
It lights thgem first a yellow glow
then as it rises a little they can resist no longer
and turn into a pure sparkling gold.
I am seeing alchemy from nature itself
turning water droplets into glimmering gold.
My old heart rises with the vision.
Even the tears from a thousand of life’s
past wounds
light up for the moment
how could they not.
they too are part of this alchemist wonder
they turn from salty water
To shining brilliant gold.
And for the moment
all is tranquil and perfect.

Portal To Infinity
for Yuri Gargarin
respectfully
by
Jude Kyrie


The explosion erupted like an inferno below him.
Not a naturally religious man he prayed to his maker.
Then the rush as he lifted off from the sweet earth
At the edge of the atmosphere an invisible barrier
Eons old untouched by mankind but not this day.

As he moved into orbit he saw the wonder of Mother Earth below.
The first words uttered by our species in the vacuum of space
"I see Earth! It is so beautiful!"
He witnessed the Earth for a single orbit

Over Africa the ground control shut of his engines
And he re-entered the earth’s atmosphere
With no power to slow down the craft.
He ejected above earth and parachuted to fame
As The first man in space the pioneer of space travel

When the American astronauts landed on the moon
In July 1969 the crew left a commemorative medal bearing his name
Warmth of mutual occupation and respect melted the ice of the cold war

From Russia came this special man
Thank you Yuri Gagarin



Author Notes

On 27 March 1968, while on a routine training flight from Chkalovsky Air Base, he and flight instructor Vladimir Seryogin died in a MiG-15UTI crash near the town of Kirzhach. The bodies of Gagarin and Seryogin were cremated and the ashes were buried in the walls of the Kremlin on Red Square.
Gagarin was survived by his wife Valentina, and daughters Elena and
Galina. Elena Gagarina, Yuri's elder daughter, is an art historian who
has worked as a director-general of the Moscow Kremlin Museums since 2001.[25] His younger daughter, Galina, is department chair at Plekhanov Russian Economic University in Moscow

This night was when it changed
without warning or fanfare.
Never before had such things happened
The love fell from the sky like moonbeams
Lighting up the darkest places
Warming even the saddest hearts.
The golden rain fell everywhere
No one was spared from its light
Enemy loved enemy
Strangers became friends
|The light changed the hues of skin
We all became golden.
War was finished
Only peace remained.
In the heavens beyond the moon.
Angels sang in beauty
With such joy
Even the masters eyes
filled with tears.
Evil descended
to avoid the bright light.
The pastures were peaceful
Tranquility abounded
and for the first time ever.
The beautiful earth
sang in space
an aria of joy

16mm Celluloid

Echoes of you reverberate
In the silent house.
Minutes crawl like hours
since I lost you to forever.
Your beloved pipe and book
still sit by your chair.
I cannot move
the last remnants of you.
not yet
not just yet.
Our old wedding album
Is in front of me.
It was so long ago...so very long ago.
Yet the years ran by like a deer
I hold your old sweater to my breast
Reaching for you as I always did
breathing the familiar smell of you.
I thread the old wedding film
onto the aincient projector
It flickers and whirs
and by its magic lantern
you are resurrected
in your wedding tux.
I am standing next to you
Your young bride  in white.
You say I do.
I whisper softly
so many years later.
I do too honey.

The circular Stairway

When you left me after forever.
The stars became your friends.
The night became mine.
People told me give it time
They said
take tiny steps
one day after another
Its just like learning to walk again
after a broken leg.
But I have taken all the steps
Day after day and night after night
Sometimes I lose my footing
And fall down the long stairway
that I have climbed so high
I can touch the stars that know you.
I can speak to the moon.
But after the terrible journey
A sadness falls over me
And grief mocks my fight.
Acceptance calls me
Like the whispering breeze
In the swaying willows
I now look down
on a desolate world.
I now know what is wrong.
Your friend the stars told me.
Once more I stand on the first step.
and I understand you have gone.

He Was Not My Type
In the pouring rain.
He waited to see me.
Outside my small flat
day after day.
Just to catch a glimpse of me

I told him he was not my type.
That I was not interested.
But he stayed.
I finally gave in
and he charmed me.
it’s amazing
he was so ordinary
yet he got to me.

He knew all my moods
Happy sad or often broken.
He always knew just what to say
to send the sadness away.
How did he always
make me feel so beautiful?.

I don’t know why
I married him.
Perhaps because
he was so gentle
and I knew
he would never
try to control me.

I have lost him now.
and my world is
not as bright.

There have been other imposters.
I danced the choreographed
movements of love with them.
But when the evening
light faded to darkness.
It was you honey
always you.
only you
knew how to fix me

The Death Of A Romantic Lady

*She has dedicated her life to love
affection craved and never withheld.
Living in a dreamlike state of untruths
that to her were as honest as the day.
In dreams she lies in green meadows
the wind curving the golden barley.
Her heart is as permanent as the stones
her love unlimited and free.
She knew men that she called lovers.
They drained their needs and desires
Into her and she loved them.
She bore their children and gave them all
When they left her she lost a small piece
of her heart.
Sometimes they took a big piece
After many years she had none left to give.
But still she gave herself to them|
When she died she lay rested
Below the swaying branches
Of the weeping willow
And the flowers turned to her grave
To feel her warmth even in death

All through the night the moon
shines its silver beacon.
I sit below in my room playing piano
It is dark in the room.
no lights but the moons candle.
I play the beautiful soulful
moonlight sonata.
It was her favorite piece.
My fingertips touch the keys
as softly as the moonlight
caressed her skin
The vision is in my mind.
it is locked in old memory
in a place I always open on
nights such as this.
when old feelings will not sleep.
Outside my window the world
Is covered in pools
of silver moonlight.
All I can do is think and feel
of you
only of you.
You are far from me now
In another world
that I shall never know.
A world of light and gaiety.
As my heart falls
in tune with the soft melody
I close my eyes
and see you dancing
with me in the moonlight.
In the fantasy of my dreams.
You smile and say
“Be sure not to drown in pools
of moonlight My Love”
As if it could stop me from
Drowning in my sorrow

The Glass Menagerie

*She was ethereal in her beauty.
I always loved her of course.
But only from a respectful distance.
She collected glass animal's.
I always gave her one for birthdays.
She would kiss my cheek in thanks.
Not the kiss I craved but a kiss.
Her perfect French braids
Framing her lovely face.
I fantasized unfastening them
Slowly so her hair flowed
Like the soft spring rain
washing my bare skin.
She would show me the
intricate color mix
in her glass menagerie.
But I only saw the colors
of her hair her eyes her lips.
When the sickness came.
Her skin became
taught and translucent like glass.
The weight loss showing her frame
She looked more and more
Like one of her beloved
glass collection.
Then when we lost her
She left her collection to me.
But the one
I wanted and treasured
Was on a high shelf
Beyond the clouds
Far beyond my reach.

Ma’am

I remember the first time I met her
At the orphanage.
I was a lifer.
Who adopts fourteen
year old boys?
Apparently no one.

She was beautiful
and had the most angelic face.
Oh! her smile,
it was like sunshine.
Unsure of how to address a Nun
I always  called her Ma’am.
She did not seem to mind

I think that was when I realized
she was the only friend I had.
What I did not know was
I was falling in love with her.
That confusing rite of passage
from Boyhood to Manhood.

I have never seen
as much kindness
before or since.
It flowed from her.

She stopped me
from running away again,
and taught me
how to read books
great books
by important authors.

To learn poetry
and to talk about
its meaning.
At this point I knew I loved her.
She took me to the mission where
the homeless lived and we served
in the free kitchen.
I would have followed her anywhere.

She was relocated
after a couple of years.
To a mission in Africa.
I was desolate
Begging to go with her.
I even asked her to marry me.
She smiled and  said
if she was free
she would marry me
in a heartbeat.

But explained gently
to my young heart
that she was already
married to her faith.
Showing me her gold ring.

She died a few years later
her letters stopped coming
It was a bout of malaria.

Now when I feel alone or sad.
I open an old shoe box.
And read her stacks of letters.

one by one.
Always in the order
that she sent them.
And as usual
I feel warm and safe again

Why are your Poems so Sad

They ask me
Why are your poems so sad?
I answer in a poem
Because the misty rains fall
on a spring morn.
And the moon sits above us
Sad and forlorn at all
it has seen.
the stars sit in judgement
of all that has been.

Blue darkness comes
after each sunny day.
The lonely hours come
its always that way.

I think what you meant to ask is

am I always so sad?
I whisper

Ask of the stars
What they have seen
Ask of the moon
What it has witnessed.

When My time has gone
look into the clear night sky.
Find a star that has no name
and give it mine.

Then you will know
I am still here
never forsaking you.
You all were the brightness
of my life shining from
childhood to adults
seeking my hand
to guide you through
the rapids of life.

When I am gone
look each night at my star
I will shine down on you
Twinkling like the life
in my eyes.

Until you join me
once again
in the great forever

Day Lillies
in my garden
by
Jude Kyrie

I have a garden of lilies
A collection so it seems.
Like some people collect stamps.
I planted one
In memory for each lost
part of me,
One for Dad
One for Mom
Two for my handsome brothers
One for my sweet sister.

Unlike those they remember
They ask nothing of me.
No emergencies or
wake up calls in the night.
Hardy against the
harsh winter.
Resistant to the sun
of midsummer.

They proliferate
and never fail
to grow and flower
in yearly abundance.

Asking only for a little water
In the very dry spells
Even then in their thirst
barely ruffling a leaf
to catch my attention.

Sometimes
in the early morning
the morning dew
collects as beads
on the new blooms
and the morning sunshine
glints in them.
like the tears that
well in my eyes
when I think
of who they were
planted for.

The news that you wrote to me
has my heart singing with joy my love.
You will be home for the Christmas season
Love songs are playing
on the strings of my heart.
she wrote in her lovely handwriting
The notepaper perfumed with gardenia
her favorite.
little crosses signified her kisses.
He read the letter again and again
it was in in the pocket of his army fatigues
her perfume sweet full of memories
as he held it to his face
And breathed her with him.
in the arid terrain of the desert.

I cannot wait only a week
before you return my love
I feel your fingers touching my heart
telling it you will care for it love it
keep it safe
I am so in love with you
so in love
she wrote

The old lady opened her souvenir box
and picked up the folder of his letters
wrapped in a blue ribbon.
she read them as always
in the sequence
that he wrote them to her

somehow it felt as if
he was still on duty
far away like so long ago
His handwriting
so nice to see again
his words as sweet
as the day she first read them
He never did make it home
that Christmas.

In The Night Rain
by
jude kyrie

I feel like I am walking in shower of love
The tapping of rain playing my heartbeat
The light of the moon a beacon
lighting all my senses
Pulling me closer to you
She said

We walked along the tree lined streets
together in the park arm in arm
In the shining wetness of the night rain.
Where our love glows in the dark

Its rhythm is playing on the strings of my heart
Making me feel love songs all for you.
I am so in love with you
So in love
She sighed

We walked slowly in the rain
I turned to look at her
so beautiful radiant in the moons light
So much what I needed.

I feel your fingers inside my heart
Tapping your heartbeat on mine.
Allowing me to breath to feel to live.
Keeping my heart safe and loved
She whispered

And in the glowing  park
in the night rain
I walked into her heart
through the door
She had left open for me
and I found my home
where I would never leave

he Old Bijoux Cinema

*The old Bijoux closed today.
After all this time it closed its doors.
It is empty now overtaken by technology and time.
Its silver screens have graced the best of Hollywood
How often I have sat here with you my love.
Watching Bogart and Bacall share a kiss.
Later returning to our small flat

To make tea and love.
You were so beautiful my angel
All that I ever wanted or needed.
Remember how I stood outside your flat
In the pouring rain to catch a glimpse of you.
I was so in love with you
So much in love.
You have gone now of course
Such beauty is for the Gods
Not for ordinary men like me.
I shall miss this old place so much
Watching the old movies flickering on the screen.
I know I did not move on quiet as I should.
You see my heart was very broken and sadly still remains so even after all these years.

But sometimes in an old movie
that we have seen a hundred times.
Yes I know the endings are always the same.
But I feel your hand slip softly into mine
In the darkness.
And I can feel it there, and just for a brief moment
All is well in this world once more
I would not change a thing about us my love
Even knowing how broken I would be
And that my heart would be vacant for evermore
You see darling
For once in my life I tried to catch the wind
and for a fleeting moment
I held it in my hands