Today​ ​the​ ​sky​ ​is​ ​too​ ​blue
perhaps​ ​even​ ​the​ ​trees
have​ ​a​ ​sad​ ​heart.
Their​ ​leaves​ ​catching
moisture​ ​from​ ​the​ ​humid​ ​air.
and​ ​dripping​ ​it​ ​like​ ​tears
onto​ ​a​ ​cracked
​ ​parched​ ​earth​ ​below.
perhaps​ ​I​ ​am​ ​too​ ​blue
​ ​like​ ​the​ ​sky.
or​ ​maybe​ ​it​ ​is​ ​just  
something​ ​about ​the​ ​wind,

There's a shine in her blue eyes
I lose my heart in a million sighs
Love me back my poor heart cries
I look at her with my sad eyes
aching with regret.
She's the one I can never have
The one i can never forget
My beautiful sweet Annette.
She smiles that smile.
Are you OK honey
Your eyes are red and wet
I whispered
yes Im fine dear Annette
Its just the smoke
from my forgoten cigarette .

Heaven wrote me a poem
In summers sun glow
The earth recited the words
In the sunlight below

The shout of the thunder
The kiss of sweet rain
The soft breeze in  my hair
To ease all of life's pain

The birds chirping  rhythm
The winds soft lament
The sounds of forrest
The songs of a life well spent.

The lake is a mirror
a shimmering  gleam
The trees stirring softly
In salad tray green

A breeze taste of violets
That paint the warm air
A trout breaks the silence
And curves in the air

My heart fills with nature
My soul fills with love
For I know this is no accident
It is from him above

Thank you honey.

You are the one
with the sweet words.
I am your wife, muse,
mother of your children
and I almost forgot, lover.
I am breaking my rules
and writing a poem
just for you my love.

it is called

Thank you honey.

Thank you for all
the sweet poems
you have written for me.
I keep them locked in my souvenir box
tied in blue ribbons.
thank you for being fun
when I feel so low.
you always know
how to make me laugh.
Thank you for being there
when sadness comes to us for a visit.
Thank you for fixing me
whenever I am broken.
Thank you for being the home I always searched for.
Thank you for the family we have built together over all these years.
And thank you for our beautiful children
they are the diamonds in my crown.
And thank you for being
my poet my love.
But most of all
thank you for the music
you brought into my once silent life.
Its no wonder I love you honey.
I don't know if this is a poem
but I think it should be.

always you
only you
love Val

Remembering is hard to do.
Treading back though lost highways.
Like the old shanty clambar
By the dunes
in the summer so long ago.
The peeling paint and
smoke stained ceiling.
The little square of the dance floor.
.From the Wurlitzer.
Elvis wailing Love me Tender.
You in my arms so lovely
So young so sweet.
You could buy a huge bowl
Of steamers back then
for a couple of dollars.
God I miss you honey.
Why did have to go and die
on me.?
I pull the car into the parking lot
The clambar is a chicken shack now.
Hey it's gloomy as ever in here.
The Wurlitzer is still there.
I dump a quarter into it
Pressing B15
Elvis croons Love me tender
I see two ghost dancing close
On the dance floor.
But they tmight just be us.

You write poetry ?
she almost cackles in disdain.
Followed by an incredulous eyeroll
Who the **** reads poetry anymore.

She continued that's pointless
And unattractive
How do hope to get a girl.
As though getting bedded
Was the reason I write.

She introduced me to her sister
I wrote poems for her
That spilled my soul onto the paper.
She read them and
saved them in a collection.

a few weeks later
She invited me to her bed.
A place where I still
read her my poetry.
So many many years later.

She always dressed in black.
Like the cocktail party
Was about to happen.
I remember she changed her name
to Constance
because it sounded ******.
Her hands were cold as ice
She said it was her circulation
As her heart was in jar
inside the refrigerator.
I never saw her without
Steaming coffee or a glass
of blood red wine
in her manicured hand.
She called men
her entertainment
And me her latest toy.
Her hand was covered in rings
Ornate and bejewelled.
She said they were tributes
from her many past admirers.
She always wore heels
She said leggs are
a woman's secret weapon.
In her bedroom
She had a collection of whips
On the wall.
She never said
what they were for.

An intimate moment
By
Jude Kyrie

He looked up into the night sky.
Reflections of moon and stars
filled his beautiful eyes like mirrors..
For just a brief moment
a clouded expression
took over his strong features.
Perhaps he is worried she thought.
Or maybe he did not love her
quiet as she loved him.
She placed her wine glass
onto the porch railing.
And whispered
Are you alright my love.?
Can I help.?
He sighed slightly
she almost heard
his breath leave his body.
Yes I am fine he answered.
Hiding his pain from her
As he always did.
She ached to hold him
close to her breast.
Where the softness
And the steady beat
of her heart would
comfort him.
She stood next to him
Wishing to taste the
comfort if his lips.
She slipped her hand
about his waist.
Just for a moment
they saw the moon and stars.
In each others eyes.
And he twisted a strand
Of her hair about a finger.
She tilted her head back
Offering him everything.
He kissed her softly
And as he always did
he took her to her bed.
And she made love to him.
As usual
He took her
Without saying I love you.
But the moon and stars
Blocked her vision.
He's so caring
He gives himself
to me all the time
She thought.

I entered a domain where
Motherless daughters exist.
A place where her echoes lie.
The greyness of rain soaked
clouds fill the lungs with tears.
I try to weep to release the loss.
But she stops me with her strength.
The power she ingrained
into her daughter.
I feel her entering me.
My back stiffens and cheeks hollow.
She speaks though my tongue.
I am her and she is me.
I hear her mantra from the sickness.
When a mother is planted
So a daughter will bloom.

Dreaming in Black

Tonight I am am dreaming
But it's not a dream it's real.
I am black in America.

I drink wine in dark places
I kiss a black woman.
******* her lips
I want to get it on with her.
Even though she looks like
Every woman I have ever had.

I don't have time to spare.
I am black in America.
Death hides behind every door.
The color gunmetal blue
Explodes like fire.

This minute may be my last.
I know I am hunted
Black and hunted.
In the inner city schoolroom.
Baby black faces
look into my eyes.
They ask about
rough hewn slave boats.
Of peaceful villages
by the sea in the African sun.
Of freedom and equal rights.
Of black heroes.

I try to keep them alive
To pass on in future folklaw.
But I know they are unsure
If they exist in this moment.

I drink wine in dark places
I kiss a black woman
******* her lips
I just want to get it on with her.

My blood is in rage
It's hot and boiling.
Their bloodhounds can smell me.
I inow
I will be safe
If I do what they want.
If I don't slip up.
Make a mistake and
then the gunmetal will shine.
In seedy bar lights.
And it's flash will
have the sharp kiss
of oblivion.

I awaken from the dream.
In a panic.
But it's changed me.
It will not go away.
In my heart
I am still
Black in America

.

*Your body is your vessel.
To sail the seven seas
of the planet.
To follow
any of the four winds
And explore
it's devastating beauty.

Your body cannot be given
as a prize in a contest.
Or
a sun in small universe.
Or
a trembling bird
In a prisoners cage.

We will learn of our bodies
As we lie together
Polishing the diamonds
That are our souls..

Refusing to seek approval
From challenging eyes.
Our bodies are
the tips of the
soaring eagles wings.
Equidistant from
its strong free
beating heart.

September 10th 2001

*I am sat in a small cafe
across the street stands
the timeless twin towers.
Man's living towers of Babel.
Perhaps waiting for
an angry Gods wrath.

It is still late summer.
The evening is sultry
Almost as if it understands.
The loss of the two vertical cities.
That the new morning will bring.
death and bloodshed
to my beloved New York.

A moment of silence falls
broken by the solitary cry
of a foraging
seagul above me.
The air becomes
oppressively saturated.
The foreteller of a big storm.

The invisible pale rider
passes by on a pale horse.
The street is crowded
with almost visible
black angels.
They wait with folded
black wings in their hoards.
Patiently waiting for their charges.

My soul shouts for them to leave.
To go back to their paradise.
But their throng
is now in the thousands.
A huge black cloud
that is only visible
through closed eyes.

They are silent.
giving no clue to their gathering.
But I know it is a harbinger
of destruction.
And that in hours
The world will change forever.

Theres a beautiful angel
Tha lives in my heart.
Shes always trying
to get me
to let her out
so everyone can see her.

But I keep her locked inside
She would spoil the me
I show the world.
The tough no nonsense me.
The my way or the highway me.
The never give a sucker
an even break me.

But then someimes
in the evening shadows
lay next to you in bed.
I let her out
just for only you to see her.
She makes my voice softer
and turns my man heart gentle.

She makes me
say dumb things
that tough old me
would never say.

Like I love you
so much honey
or
You mean everything
to me my love.
And
You are the most
beautiful thing in my life.

Its just some
Angel trick I guess.
But she turns me
into marshmallow soft.
And I melt with the love of you.

But then as the morning light
trickles through our window.
I put her back into her prison
inside my heart.

And I get ready to meet
the rough tough world
one more time
As tough hard old me
Walks out into the sunlight.

I feel like I am walking in a shower of love.
The tapping of rain playing my heartbeat.
The light of the moon a  beacon
lighting all my senses.
Pulling me close to you
she said

We walked along the tree lined pathways
together in the park arm in arm.
In the shining wetness of the night rain.
Where our love glows in the dark

Its rhythm is playing on the strings of my heart
Making me feel love songs all for you.
Only for you.
I am so in love with you
So in love
she sighed

We walked slowly in the rain
I turned to look at her
so beautiful
She is radiant in the moons light
So much what I needed.

I feel your fingers inside my heart
Tapping your heartbeat on mine.
Allowing me to breath to feel to live.
Keeping my heart safe and loved
she said

*And there in the park
in the night rain.
I walked into her heart
through the door
She left open for olny me
and I entered my home
where I would never leave

Thank You For The Music*
A story of chance and circumstance
and perhaps fortunate Serendipity


I was born in the waves of music.
So long ago now.
When the music was faint,
barely audible, almost silent.
I was an accident but a beautiful one.
But still an accident.
She was a concert pianist
very young and beautiful
I forgot to mention talented.
He was a guitar player in a rock band.
They should have hated each other
but then that's where I came in
they didn't.
Her father was a control freak
all he could see was her career.
After my parents met
it was something at first sight.
They slept together
on a bench on a new York rooftop.
I guess you could say
that's where I really came in.
Her father took her away
to her recital in California.
she did not even know his name.
I found out later
she never married
nor did he.
When Mom found she was pregnant
her father said it must be adopted.
I became it instead of the baby
or my grandson or even the boy.
Mom had an accident
after the news she was
to put me up for adoption.
She ran into the street
and a bike courier hit her hard.
I was born
but her father
I still cannot call him grandfather.
forged her name on adoption papers.
when she woke up in the hospital
he said the baby was lost.and
that I did not make it.
I was put into the orphanage.
I never got adopted
I guess I was bit weird.
No, I really know I was different.
I listened to music everywhere
in the grass the streets inside the wind.
and I knew somehow
She was out there.
I could feel it.
A couple came to adopt me
but I said no thanks
I already have a Mom.
She will find me I am sure.
I became a musical prodigy at seven.
I could write new music without lessons.
I had been taught by nature"s friends
The beat of the street and the whisper of the wind
the rustle of the long free meadow grass.
I could play any instrument
you threw at me.
the nuns at the orphanage
sent me to Julliard.
I was their youngest student at nine.
Then her father confessed
what he had done on his deathbed.
Mom searched and searched
until she released the adoption papers
with the forged signature.
she saw my photo for the first time.
she said that's him.
at Julliard, I wrote a symphony.
it was put forward to play
in central park for best new young composers.
The moon played
its music loud that night.
The park was full
and she was playing
the concert piano.
when my music played
it awakened in her heart.
I could see her feeling it
she felt me.
She felt my music.
She felt her son.
The concert finished
they called me to the stage
to take a bow.
but she came to me
in her beautiful gown.
she was so pretty.
she held me in her arms
I felt for the first time
the softness of my mother.
her eye makeup
was running down
her beautiful face.
is it..is it you? she asked.
I kissed her cheek
and whispered yes Mom.
It's me.
Thank you for the music.

Winter's icy fingers
freeze my world.
The door to spring
now in a time lock
like a bank vault

Sitting alone
by my window
warm breath melting
a portal to the street
in the crystalline
patterns of ice .

Outside cars are like extinct
dinosaurs abandoned
in the street.
Covered in pure white.
How elegantly the snow
delivers its silent discipline

Now the wind
wails like a grieving lover
causing the ice covered berries
to gently ******
like glass wind chimes

In the mist of falling snow
Ghostly skeletons of the trees,
leafless grey and frozen
patiently await the springtime.

Far into a distant time to come
apple blossoms glow in radiance
and a church bell chimes.

She did not cry.
perhaps that was the odd thing.
I saw the two soldiers at her front door.
one with a chaplains uniform.
Her son was on active duty
in the Marines.
I knew at once
what the bad news would be.

I remember It was late springtime
and all through the days that year
I could see her
working non stop in her garden.
Trimming,transplanting, weeding.
until the evening light dimmed
Into darkness.

I have never seen such
An abundance of beauty.
Flowers and shrubs a color scape
a complete mass of bloom.
The snipping of her pruning shears
never ceasing
like a cicada in August.

Lantern shaped blossoms
cascaded down in multitudes
from the flowering trees.
Like the tears
she could not cry.

Joe
You are my sunshine

The eldest of us all
He would pick me up after work
And sing to me I was his baby sister

You are my sunshine my only sunshine

I loved him so big and solid so good
I used to hug his neck as he lifted me
Like a feather in his arms
I love you Joe
I love you Sweetie

You make me happy when skies are grey

There was a war in far off  land
I do not understand wars
I just wanted my Joe

You never know dear how much I love you

He went away in a soldiers uniform
I waited at the gate for him every day
Come back Joe I miss you

Please don’t take my sunshine away

Two soldiers came today and talked to mom
She wept and held her head in her hands
At night in my sleep I see you Joe
You lift me up in your strong arms
So safe so loving so sweet
In the distance from a long way away
I hear your voice again Joe

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
when skies are grey

I feel safe again Joe
I know your alright.

I love you man
A Story From Nam

We were seventeen or eighteen in Nam
we became friends forever.
No more than friends.
Soldiers get closer than wives.
We went to sleep saying
I love you man.
We switched letters
For our girlfriends.
In case… well just in case.

The bullets rained
in the clearing that night.
I can still see the tracer lights.
Guys fell down all around me.
Crying everywhere.
Air power cleared them away.

I looked for Joe he was lay there.
I held him close
like a baby as he left us.
His last words
I love you man.
I whispered to him
Not as much
as I love you Man
.
I did not notice I had been hit.
After six months I returned home.
In West Virginia his beautiful girl
Opened the door of a small trailer.
She had a baby boy in her arms.
Her blue eyes welled with tears.
I passed the unopened letter to her.
I lied and said the blood
on it was mine.

She passed the baby
to me to hold
As she read the letter.
I kissed his tiny forehead.
And said see buddy
You’re not dead at all
I love you Man

It was springtime in the capital.
I visit here every year on this day.
Cherry blossoms are abundant
everywhere I look warm spring sunshine.
The wall is long and filled
with the names of the fallen.

I look for the name
of my boyhood friend Joseph Reilly
It is always hard to find.
So many names so much sadness.

We served together in Nam
I hear the explosion
the flash of the landmine.
He gave his life that I might live
a gift beyond any gratitude.

A shaft of sunlight falls
onto the gold filigree
of the names on the wall.
On my white shirt they reflect
like on a screen.
I see his name on me
as though he is reaching to me
to say I love you man.

A cloud passes the sun
and his name melts from my shirt
On the wall it stays

In the winter mornings first light.
I see griefs in the early
clouds of the day.
They are sad and always misty grey.
A thermal from a sun belonging
to happier times
drifts them into the distance
like passing clouds.
Always slowly so very slowly.
They visit me like lost doves
singing their sadness.
like a tune I have half forgotten.
I feel them on my shoulders
Cooing their tears
Like the hue of the
shades of fading memory.

How we laughed.......


We laughed all day
at a silly song.
You threw my homework
In the pond.

We laughed so much
I peed my pants
In a pool upon the floor.

Our childhood passed
so fast, so fast.
I wished it would never end.
You and I
We were more than best of friends.

After finals you threw your *******
from the window of the car.
And then I threw out mine.
We got a ticket from the policeman
And laughed as we paid the fine.

Then we both got wedding rings
Our bellies grew and grew.
How fast the time did fly
You laughed and laughed
And said at last
We have learned how to multiply

In business you laughed
your way to the top.
Who would have guessed
You were to be the big success.

Then on 9/11 the planes came down.
And the towers turned to ash
You died and my world
is now a sadder place
Oh God!
How I miss your laugh.

Do you remember
Long ago when
we were children.
You tripped me up
In the schoolyard
and I grazed my knees.
You stole my
Halloween candy stash
From my locker.
You copied my math test
and got me an F
When we were in high school
You told my new
girlfriend I was gay.
I married you last year
If that's all you wanted
Why did you not
Just say so?

Bright stars in the heavens
Dancing in the sky tonight.
Universe is singing singing.
Planet earth glowing
in its flight

Sweetness is pouring pouring
Like heavens rain above
Bright eyes are dancing dancing.
Dancing on a sea of love

Danger Danger
Falling down the milky way.
Hearts are falling falling
Falling in love today

What do you think love is?
she said.
I answer.
I think love is a beautiful
fallen angel.
Her wings lost
and now earthbound.
With flaxen blond hair
that lifts in the soft breeze.
She stands forlorn
on the top of a hill.
With eyes as blue
as the summer sky.
And a gentle smile
that speaks tenderness.
She speaks softly
in beautiful untruths
Saying she will
teach me how fly
When her wings
are returned.
I say love is you
my fallen angel
The only one
who can make my
lonely heart sing.

Dance me forever

Dance me through love warm and tender
With glitter ball lights in your eyes
Dance me through all I’ll remember
in the glow of a million soft sighs

Dance  me through children and laughter
in  a place where true love never dies.
Dance me before and then after
as I drown in the pools of your eyes.

Dance with me every day of our lifetime.
Dance away all heartaches and pain.
When I am old and my eyes lose  their bright shine.
Dance me until they shine once again.

I am sorry
I fell in love with you.
You warned me upfront
not to fall in love with you.
I tried and really
tried hard not to.
But then you
Sang songs to me
from the book of love.
Spoke beautiful poetry
from the depths
of your heart.
Captivating me
with your words.
And even the butterfly’s
rested on my naked skin.

Going Back  Home
A Poem
By
Jude Kyrie

The ghosts are everywhere.
I see them under trees.
In gardens and ice cream parlors.
Going home after all the passing years
It is now a haunted place
Yet it will always  be home.

The small English town with
lichen covered stone everywhere.
Even the cobbled streets remain.
Shining wet in the ever present rain.

Between the faded
Old-fashioned shops
On either side.
A church clock strikes three.
As children jump from
The school steps
Like a soul returning to heaven.

I see a boy with his scruffy dog.
They are happier than billionaires.
The dog reminds me of my boyhood pet.
A scruffy mongrel running happily
with an even scruffier boy.
It is only another ghost.
But I think this one is me.

Her soft Italian accent
Still haunts my dreams.
I did not know she was love.
Love had never called on me before.
Suddenly all I ever needed or
dreamed of and wanted.
was here in my waking world.

She was soft and romantic.
In the half-light of sleeping
I would watch over her.
A vigil to my sweet gentle lover.
For her *******
was natural as breathing.
She held the promise
of all her femininity
In everything she did.

She bore my children.
And gave me romance
until the day she died.
I did not understand
love until she taught it to me
with her sweetness
and tenderness.

Even in her resting place
The flowers turn towards her
feeling her warmth
even in death.

I do not need for love
to call on me again.
For love has been
and still lives in my heart.

I speak to her softly.
Each night in her native Italian
Addio, amore mi.
Farewell my love.

Blues In The Rain
By
Jude Kyrie

There’s a storm brewing Mama.
I cannot see through the driving rain.
Just human shapes walking about the town.
Like people in a hall of mirrors
I have the blues, Mama.
But worse than the blues
the blues turned dark grey.
I know she’s out there, Mama
Walking with people we don’t know.
I can hear her laughter
The clinking of her wine glass.
But I can’t see her anymore, Mama.
The rain it falls too hard.
I am too used
to her being there, Mama.
Warming the house the gardens.
I became accustomed to
the olive green forest
and snow capped mountains.
Happiness was a habit
of my heart, Mama.
But now the rain
This endless rain.

A Dusting of Snow
  
It seems so many Christmases ago now.
Almost looking back
through a white mist of snowflakes.
Like the ones I remember as a boy
In the Moorlands of England.
The world bright in festive color
A warm firelight in the old cottage.
From which I shall never move.
Her French accent
musical like tiny bells.
Such times are precious.
We should know this always.
Special and once lived memories.
It was so easy back then to accept
them as forever
Perhaps a right of passage.
The truth is the Gods
can give and take all they wish.
At times like this I can feel her
touching my cheek softly.
And if I close my eyes
She is there again.
Soft and sweet
Like a Christmas Angel.
White wings like the falling snow.
Now it is quiet in the old room.
The Christmas tree as beautiful
as any I remember back then.
On the gardens a light dusting
of snow reflecting starlight
on its purity of its whiteness.
I look at her photograph on the mantle
She was so astoundingly lovely.
I pick up the frame and place
my lips on her picture.
Feeling her lips
Beyond the cold glass.
Whispering softly
joyeux noël
ma petite fleur
(Happy Christmas
my little flower)

These are the gifts
I wish for you my love.
Soft feathered nights
that whisper gentle dreams
as you sleep.
Bright summer mornings
where the dewdrops
sparkle like diamonds
on a garden
of flowers.
A down soft heart
that opens its doors
for you to abide.
A sweet song of love
that plays gently
in your head all day
And to share all these gifts
with me forever.

For weeks she has dug deeply
into her soul seeking the fortitude
to tell him.
How do you break from him.
He had done nothing to deserve it.
Years of history
their history
to be expunged
by a few words.

He was writing a poem
when she told him
she was leaving.
He was silent
He continued to compose
his work.
his beautiful handwriting
almost calligraphy.
it looked exquisite.

She had not noticed
how beautiful his hands were
since the last time he reached
for her in their bed.
The deep concentration
on his work continued.
He did not speak.
But finished his composition
with a flourish of his pen.

She looked over his shoulder
and read the poem.
it was exquisite beautiful
a love poem to her.
Still silent he pushed away
his poetry.
And covered his face
with his hands
to hide his tears.

In an single moment
this defeat.
the acid rain
pours in victory.
No more sky of blue
or crimson
of autumn leaves.
Only bleak and
sorrowful greys.
Your warmth is missing.
I seek it in every
desolate silent room.
in every cold
crowded Street
you are missing
in the crowd.
All that is left  
for me is silent memories.
Only the somber rain falls.
For too long I have been
resonant with the
co!orful pastures
of Wheaties.
The white topped
mountain peaks
the freedom of
eagles over their nest.
The joy of flowers.
But now in an instant.
This defeat.
This endless rain.

Nightflight to Venus

I am told
Man is from Mars
And
Woman is from Venus.

So perhaps that is why
We are different you and I.
You with your plans and dreams
That fly through space
Like a blazing comet.

Me fastened to the earth
Perhaps too rooted
In its safe soil.
But my heart has fallen
In love with you

And so
I must follow it
on its journey
To your planet.
For without you
the color and light
fade from
my home here.

So tonight
My heart and I
Will catch the next
Space ship to Venus
And as I learn
To exist in its strange
atmosphere.
I will know
It was you
Who brought me there.

He was so very ordinary.
No movie star  looks about him.
Not my type at all really.
But he waited outside
My small flat in the
torrential Seattle rain
day after day.
Drenched to the skin
until I gave  in.
He just wore me down….

I have no idea why
I married him.
Perhaps because he
cried when Bambi's
mother died.
Or because
he was so gentle.
And I Knew he
would never try
to Control me.

He made me laugh.
Always knowing how
to turn around
my many dark moods
So often sad and broken.
How did he
always make me
feel so beautiful.?

Even when
the sickness came.
He tried to
hide it from me.
But I knew….I knew.

I have lost him now
And my world
is not such a happy place.

Over the passing years.
I have acted out the
Choreographed movements
Of love with other imposters.
But.
When the evening shadows
turned to darkness.
And I was alone
In my bed.
It was you.
Always you honey.
Only you.
Knew how
to fix me,

she was so angry
I have never seen her
this mad before.
She raised her voice
Almost shouting.
She said.
We have been dating
Over three years.
My clock is ticking
I want a home and a family.
Either marry me now.
Or you go your way
And I will go mine.
I took a deep breath
And gave it back to her.
Well if that's the way
you want it.
You go your way
And I will go your way too.

a story
By
Jude Kyrie

*I did not see it coming
The car hit me head on.
It took my breath away.
No more than that it
Took my legs away
17 and a paraplegic.
The object of pity.
She was married
She had just had a baby
It was crazyville
I watched her struggle
as her her husband
worked his *** off.
I fell in love with her too.
But only from my wheelchair.
She was thirty something
I did not ask.
I did not care.
I listened to her music.
She listened to mine.
I listened to everything
She shouted or whispered.
I did not know
What I could do if she
came to me naked.
I just wanted her that way.
Hormones don't have wheelchairs.
But paraplegics don't have girlfriends.

She came over to my den
I whispered it .
Too afraid to speak loudly.
I said I want you
I need you.
Indont know
if it was from pity.
She undressed
And she came to me
I felt myself respond
She did what women
Have done to men
that need them
Since time began.
She did What she could.

I missed her terribly
when she moved.
She said she was wrong.
But I did not listen.
I had lost my heart
and my legs.

Five years later

It was summer
The flowers were abundant.
Sally my wife
Brought the children
They were ready to leave
Their pushchairs
Even though
I would never
Leave mine.
She said
I love you so much honey
I kissed her beautiful face.
And said
Not as much as I love you.

On some quiet moments
I think of the lady next door.
She lit a candle in my manhood
And it set fire to my soul
It became an inferno.
And I became a full man.

I kept the shadows locked outside
They were from another time
But I brought those shadows home
They were hiding in your wine.

You saw my glass was empty
So you filled it to the brim
I drank the blood red contents
And it let the shadows in.

The night is only darkness
I don't mind its gloomy call
But shadows they can taunt you
Playing memories on the wall

I asked what am I drinking baby?
You smiled and poured your wine.
I drank down your last swallow
And let the shadows in my mind.

Now there's no more wine left
The bottles running dry.
But the shadows are still dancing
I can see them in your eye

I was almost five
when she left us
just a little boy.
I still remember
that long ago hot summer
when the heat
burned upon the earth
and also our passions.

she left with the handsome
man with the big car.
since then even after all
these years I have looked
and searched for a place
to lose my sadness.

sometimes in the stillness of sleep.
I would hear the songs she sang
as I fell asleep
in her comforting arms.
or feel her soft kiss
on my cheek.
I dreamt of her for years after.
Hearing  her  almost
forgotten footsteps
coming into my room..
I painted her beautiful face
In my mind.
Until time faded it to a blurr.

Now I am a man
no longer
a little boy
with torn jeans and.
***** tee shirt.

people say to me
dumb things like.
She is still out there
and thinks of you everyday
with a mothers love for you
in her heart.

I nod in concert with the thought
Even though I know
It is a beautiful untruth,
I whisper sure or maybe or perhaps.
But inside I know in her heart.
it's something
less than love.
yes for sure
something
much less than love.

Today the snow falls softly
Like the feathers
in what was our duvet.
Now it is only mine.

A morning sky grey
as grey as
your new headstone.
The house has found
a louder silence
One that is deafening.

I know you are at peace
Away from awful pain.
But you promised me
a thousand forevers.
a million eternities.

Now in the misty snowfall
of a sad grey winter.
I know your chair
will sit empty.
Your books unread
Your music unplayed
And my heart unfixable

The night wind
carries voices
it whispers them
into the darkness.
They are not clear
or distinct.
The skeleton trees
filter their clarity
in the winter air.
But I can hear them
I must walk in the wind
for your voice is in there.
I know I can feel it
inside this storm.
I must walk into the
petrified forest now ravaged
by the bitter winds of winter.
For in all this desolation
I can feel the warmth
of your whispers.
just a single note
of your voice
will rage. inside
my broken heart
like a furnace.
and I shall survive
another night
without you.

Sometimes the world
Is too hard to walk in.
The moon forgets to shine
and darkness follows me
like a haunting ghost.

sometimes the music
stops playing
the flowers forget to bloom
and the rain forgets to stop.

sometimes the silence
is deafening
and my breath can find no air.
The stars fade one by one.

sometimes I forget
you have gone.
and I look at the world's
beauty through the window
of springtime.

but then
I should not
think of springtime
for that would surely
break my heart
in two

Tossed in a Storm

I fell in love with you
It was a simple choice.
Because I did not have a choice.
We do not choose
Who our heart falls in love with.
I am struck by your lightning.
I am Drowned in your Rain.
I am deafened by your thunder.
You are the heart of a hurricane.
And I am tossed
in the eye of your storm.

Soft dreams my sweet dreamer
Dream of lifetimes that last
May our purest love guide you
From heartbreaks long past

May sweet music sooth you
In loves gentle sleep
For when you awaken
These dreams will repeat.

Darkened muse

In the dark night
where uncertainty exist.
Feel the power of the muse.
Let it fall upon your naked skin.
Like rain from the heavens.
Find the need that flows the words
that are living inside your heart.
Let them pour down your face
like tears too long hidden
let her touch the parts of you
that release all you are.
All you can be.
For you are a poet
A dreamer of feelings.
A writer of truths
She is a lover
let her free
to release you.
Die in her embrace
but write write write
until the blood
is drained from you.

The rain falls without promise of end.
I feel the sound of past lives in the deluge.
Their footsteps fall against the window pane.

Outside the olive greens
Daunt me the subdued colors
the hues of haunting places.
But the ghost are inside the rainfall.

I pray to the God that sent the rain
purify me with your waters.
Send the light from a million stars
to warm my heart.

But the tears fall like the rain
down my cheeks.
leaving water stains
Like on a damaged photograph.

Tea leaves

Saying goodbye is never painless.
But today closing up her old house.
Where I spent my childhood so long ago.
It is dragging me into the doldrums.
Each room full of her sweet life.
I find her books her souvenir box.
Locks of her children’s hair.
Christening medals.
I go into my boyhood bedroom
For the last time.
It still contains my magazines
and a book I read as a child.
The box in mom’s room is
full of her clothes.
Ready for the Goodwill.
Then I packed the last of the
old familiar dishes in the kichen.
Solid stoneware that carried
my sustenance for all my younger life.
In the back of the cupboard
Moms china cup and saucer
With English roses on it.
The one she used to  
drink her morning
tea in all of her life.
On the rim a single tea leaf remained.
That had once touched her lips.
That was when the grief hit me
Like never before.

Bye Mom
I love you
Jude

Nightglow A Summer Song
By
Jude Kyrie


*The perfume of summer
falls sweetly into the night air.
If I breathe softly
I catch the fragrance
of my lover’s hair.
And this nocturnal dampness
shall hold me here transfixed
throughout the last shadows
of nightfall.
If heaven were to fill my
glass with ambrosia.
And I were to drain it
in a single swallow.
This Nightglow would still see me
standing sober and mellow.
My eyes fixed upon the heady bloom
of the summer moon.
The wild clematis and honeysuckle
tangled in its gentle light.
Sleep shall remain far away.
As I swallow the last of the
honeyed sweetness
of this nightglow.