Our love had no bite,
But it was...
...all...
...tongue.*

© 2014 J.S.P.

My heart pounds like the Leonids.
I fail to find the voice to console her.
I do not wish to be the reclining Moon,
Nor the twilight that reminds her of the little things.
She has the eyes of a heavenly body,
I love her blindly.
And as the slow lightyear of a tear
Shoots down to her lips, I wonder
How the stars really taste like.
And so we kiss,

     But it did not change the universe.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

Regardless of the pain
And the manner that I could let it show,
Or those crowded buses,
That could have passed to cause delay,
     A heart still leans away.
It has to be taken far
From it's last scene,
     Forever.
     Your heart should lean away.

I take it madly here within me.
I would hold your escaping hand,
Though its phantom would mock me,
     **** me with its slow release.
Our first promises wander now,
And are to be found in new lovers like
Pups, like cygnets, like old nets
     Drowning in their love.

In this suffering, love, of then
And our future, faith and memory,
Your silence will come, storming
Into me. I will be riddled
     Past your shadowy goodbye.

And I will move,
A tired flame leaning into the shores,
     Glowing like embers all over the land.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

My poems attest
That I lived
     As I
          For them.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

You are feathered butterfly
Armed with mimosas,
Perfumed to perfection,
Dressed delicately, purely, with only
The most diaphanous of colours,
Of your simplistic silhouettes
And your ever-glow, the peppery yellow,
And gold, and emerald and silver.
You govern my little empire.

I come like a deer bowed before you
In integrity,
For you are royalty,
A gift of nature.
You wear the therapeutic tiara,
The morning of mornings, my rest,
My hope, my sweet.
You are the princess and the panacea,
The kiss I long longed for,
And I'm your squire,
Your only,
Only dreaming.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

And so I write of love
Thinking it’s the sane thing to do,
     Of over-thinking
Which overpowers the other,
Your love (your past love)
     Or mine.

Everyday seemed like a day after the other,
Only, that they move backwards,
Only, that they grow much painful
As days go by, as nights
     Are even worse.

Nothing hurts
Like a definite goodbye,
Unless it was an indefinite one.
I know for sure
     That I could have you back.

I love you so much that I miss you
And how I struggle
To make you understand
That I only miss you
     Because I love you.

And so my pen tilts from here,
Not knowing what to say,
     Only knowing what to feel.

     And we’re apart...

          We’re once were.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

Life is short, and to think of you,
Long and mad, is to long the longing
     Of long bond papers, stretched,
Untouched and unmolested,
An ice rink awaiting
     Its solitary soul.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

Time was a pure drop of infinity
From her eye. Time.
When it moved, everything else did.
Music reached me. My soul—
Resurfaced. Come the flesh.
Come the shadow.
Her smile was light.
I was blood pouring over.
I was noticeably inlove.

Time. The Grandfather's Clock.
The pendulum of my heart. Time.
What a cruel alarm!
What vast silence! Time.
I stopped living before, for once,
I know, because—
Because pain stopped chasing me. I
Know, because I'm existing now,
For it has finally caught me.
My heart—hanging
Like an old dreamcatcher.
And one can only whistle hard
Just to stop the crying.

Here's a night like no other:
The cool fire of the Universe
Made its way into me, a certain
Cold I haved likened my soul into.
I miss her more than I remember her,
Like they are two opposite things.
The stars would weep stars.
The moon shapeshifts. The cicadas—
Courting one another.
And I miss her.

Oh, if darkness could only blur
The things that I know
And will never know!

I would give everything to the Sun,
If only it could give back the orbits
The revolutions of the World, hoping
Against all hopes, just to be with her.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

It's not a scar.
This is love overflowing.
I cannot give it anymore.
You are gone.

This is my life's work,
My genius showing,
My own Black Square, a poem
That won't explain.

This is the eye within my eye,
Or should I say, soul
Breaking through its windows,
This viewer of my heart.

This is the night falling,
The weight of the weightless suns,
The length of my journey,
Pain's pinnacle.

This is my curfew.
I need
     To go home.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

Her whisper drew spirals in my mind,
On my pelvis.
She was a cunning...
...hurricane.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

Ask what fate is to dandelions,
For I am clumsy, loving you,
Peeking when was asked to dream,
Glad seeing you.

I am no cloud, no air, no wind,
And balloons have long fled from my wrist
Touching the convoluted power lines somewhere
In the rural south of my country.
But I hold your hand with my hand, so light,
Like the line of a kite, too high to make a run for,
That I cannot state with words, with poems
What's so heavenly about it
Or without it that is about you, except
As such, this mutual touch.

I chased a single drop
Not knowing what will hit me.
I'm drenched, soaked all over.
Rain poured down, heavily.
I gain what's unexpected,
And love...is undeserved.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

The side of her neck...
Her *****...
The ribs...
...below.

O stars,
Godspeed to me.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

If hearts can fly
     To find the wind of longing,
Then wings, why grow from her back?
Why not embrace her, for me,
Warm her and wipe those tears away?
     Why not seal love?
Why close the distance still,
And toil, tire and shed
Just to encircle us both?
     Why not seal love, light
          And forget me?

               Why defeat the darkness?*

© 2015 J.S.P.

I am a crimson crescent
     Encircling you, embracing you,
Not quite fully, as though me
Understanding you, no,
     There is a space enough for you
To open up to the world, and cover
Yourself for me as a mystical wonder
     Or beauty, my flower, my lovely,
My hollander tulip, a heat, a tidal wave,
     A gift, a butterfly.*

© 2016 J.S.P.

I can imagine staircases already
From her legs up,
The sassy strut divine
     Of deities descending,

Her curvatures, delight,
Carefully cascading, lather me
As hands on her hands, as fingers,
     Or *****, my spirit.

I am nowhere near my mind
Within her mind,
The clauses of her mind, this flower.
     O her oblivious flower, opened, bare and all.

I can hear it all already, all,
Her steps deceptive,
The pleasant cries and onomatopoeias,
     A princess or a pheasant somewhere,
     Surrendering, the grin
          Of suffering.

I can sense it, feel it, peal it from our canvasses,
Which were carcasses for so long, taste it,
O sweet molasses,
     Which intimacies were hers,
          Were mine.

We're mine alone.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

A river of emotion-- wandering
Always. Always going back.
The blue whip of the seas
To the Spratlys.
The blind sting of salt
That felt like fire.
Moments of impact.
A sailing journey.
The big dam of everything
That is not you. A night
In the belly
Of a bluer whale.
Pains that are necessary.
Pains that fortify the past,
The tides and the lesser heart.

This is not like those.
My aching bears no weight;
It is the inner weight itself--
An old anchor, the great shipwreck,
Our first kiss I remind myself of.
Ever hopeful. Ever silent.
Ever love.

Here, I wait for you.
Here.
Still is the pain...
...that love moves.*

© 2014 J.S.P.

I travel in your fair thoughts
As though to travel in your world.
Sometimes, I try to understand
Why your eyes cannot reach me.
Sometimes, I do not know you but--
But still I want to linger
Like I truly know you.                  

Shyly, I intend to blanket you with my palms
As if I can cocoon a butterfly back
Into its gentle sleep.
I am absorbed at it and I cannot disengage.

You bring hope and needed refuge to a wandering soul.
Cluelessly, your blue warmth caresses,
And it opens for me
Like an afternoon:
My rest from tough day's work.
Because of you I can somehow get by
With this life.

Love,
You're my north star,
And another,
And a few hundreds more.
I intend to walk and follow
My disregard for my longing heart.
But still, at night, you form for me
A constellation, a guiding invitation
Just to love again.

And how I need to lean on you,
Like a book leaning to another.
But at times, when I can see you reaching out,
It is my hand that readily un-fists and steadies,
Worried for which its not accountable of.

Because of you I can only imagine--
How immense would re-birthing
Drowned islands be inside your heart,
As I wonder at a far-off shore
How to get there, how to know you.

'Cause maybe
Just like me,
You are finding someone new.

© 2010 J.S.P.

I'm speechless.
I am poetry
     When I look at you.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

I unzip your back and expected,
Anticipated
No goose, nor bump.
No loose passion, no pause,
Nor hesitation.
No wings. No angel.
But I look into you,
Your flesh, your curves
And respected your tired soul.
I shall move, slow, and consider
The new moon.
I'll only kiss, kiss, kiss,
Breathe and pressure the old weight
And the tension away.
I bare you and I unravel the illusion,
The galleries, the ateliers
Of mysteries
Or the path to a naked star.
I embrace you
Just as an answer
To a query.
We shall be together, a reverie,
Entwined.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

I shared my love, blindly,
     Only to be covered from her eyes,
Her hand motioned as though
To salute improperly, a shade,
     A visor of indifference.

Lonely as a firebird, I must rise from death
     And bring my ashes to her
Because I know no other way
     To reach her flame.

And with each night, fading,
Greyed out of her dark dreams,
I find it hard to go much further.
     Even the brightest flame
          Will falter.

So we turned into these isles,
     That will never share their tides.
But it would be, only, on this sorry shores
     That she will read this:

"Will she ever love me?
     Will she ever love me back?"*

© 2015 J.S.P.

Her vivid thighs, hips,
Her lissome buns.
     O Aphrodite!
          Aphrodite!*

© 2015 J.S.P.

Show me the soles of your heart,
And we will run,
Together, to the acres
Of matrimony,
Where we are souls
In our very first forever.

We will nod the nod of love,
As one, as yes
As we could ever be.
We will know how flowers
Keep memories.
We will know why I love you.

You will show me how to dream,
Your true self.
You would be nearer than what I thought
You could ever be. You will dizzy me
With curious stars.

Now this is our far, far away,
Amusing, existing:
A hand on your hand,
Two pairs of lip, perfected,
Entwined.

© 2010 J.S.P.

I would draw a curve like those
Of a fishing boat, its bottom,
Or the body of the moon sometimes
     In its perfect time
          And begin to dream.

And google things like,
"a small depression in the flesh,
Either one that exists permanently
Or one that forms in the cheeks
When one smiles",
     And then write poetry,
          Subpar to the actual thing.

You don't know the magic that you are.

Through your smile,
I learned to cheat all death, all life,
All me, all being, all being,
     All what-ifs and trying-to-be-s.
Through your smile, I knew,
     That God is good, has been
          And always will be.

Through you, I knew,
     I have always been happy.*

© 2017 J.S.P.

...into roots...
...of our love.

© 2014 J.S.P.

It was her first frolic,
Raw, non-prolific, she has eyes
On the ceiling, staring at her, her feet,
     Bare, tiptoe with the wind outside, yet
Her brittle body aches, as though
     To embrace the hardest pillow,
A realization, a brand, a scar, a grand
     Turbulence, somewhere
On the inside, the fury
Of a soft rose, it's first opening,
     Too early for the spring, bitter,

          At the applause of one.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

Poetry's for all,
So may it come, too,
     From all.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

Smile, hold that ever-smile.
Tonight, you will witness a brave star
     Unstitch the shadows off his feet.
He will high dive and unload
The weight off his chest
     Then burn himself gladly
     Towards the law of gravity,
Just to break the icy walls
Of the heart you once thought
Impenetrable, and you will smile,
     Sweetly, the smile of smiles.

     But someday I will circle you,
          One in six, seven on seventh,
     Forevermore, and you'll hear me
          Say I love you, then you will fall.*

© 2017 J.S.P.

Love itself is immortality,
Panacea, the key
     To true death.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

I bottle dandelions, silly-saving them up,
Fearing they will never reach your shores,
The blue island, the rose
Of your lost hope, as I see to it
That you know, understand,
With the subtlest implications,
That the bouquet of my love, your love,
Misses you back.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

...Love...
...from your collar bone.

© 2014 J.S.P.

We are talking about years,
Endeavors, dreams, moments.
A day has enough problems on its own,
     And you are stronger than
          You will ever think you are.

These scars, these ceremonial
Scars you bear, imprints
Eternally embedded,
     Proudly present to you
          The true challenge of the heart.

2017, in the cold, calm winter, Germany,
January, prematurely, you will open
What you fought so hard for just to close
     In hope of letting some healing in
          And fiercely love again.

You will make space, bridges,
Towers, arrange your stars,
Set your cardboard, pick wild flowers,
Eat one cup of rice instead of two,
Do some sit-ups, and let yourself wait
     And wait and wait
          For her to get here.

Here, in the middle,
In the very scar you reopen.
     There.

Happy New Year.*

© 2017 J.S.P.

I am wind, sound.
I am echo.
I am...avalanche.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

There is nothing more painful
Than having said goodbye
With an I love you, that you must
     Walk on, live life
And pass by an old park bench,
     Alone.

There is no night that could sate you,
No banquet can. You can’t help
     But crave for it repeatedly,
Her flaws are far away,
Her milk lips, her cheeks, sugared,
The pastry of her neck reminds you
     Of her eyes, condescending,
Her sshh, the disregard she has for you,
     That yet you always fall for.

You will think of her beauty, divine,
That left from and returned to her ponytail.
Her straight hair can unravel
    The emptiness of a thin moon.
Your heart would have left with her fully,
Or lies with you empty, and still
     You are confused.

And then you will find out
That there is no such thing, nothing,
Was as clumsy as her smile,
     Making a mess of hearts,
          The hearts of men.

And so, you sit
At a bench for two, alone,
     Drunk, nauseated,

     Knowing…
          …that you have lost her.*

© 2017 J.S.P.

Poetry is my public apology, for loving
     And hurting you too much. I bleed
In adjectives. My scars appear
Randomly at the last pages
Of your old notebooks.
     I am revision. I am bare.
I do not know darkness which can
Shadow me, but this: that you
Can see, somehow, this cosmos,
     This timeless chaos,
The divine, the celestial, guiding you
     To count on, and count
     And count and count
          The stars again.*

© 2016 J.S.P.

Nothing will be wasted.
I shall lip everything back,
Lift my clumsy and the naughty,
The ones that never made it
To your heart-wall.

You cannot blame me for thinking
That the flowers are all the same,
Your lily, the opened rose, the petunias.
O this garden of a body you have.
You be-tremble me, Love, even now.

So now, tonight, ever,
We will save them up,
Oh I will kiss them back to your mouth,
This love thing,

To your tongue so tender,
From your neck,
Your legs so slender,
Your shoulders, your waist,
Those young *******,
Then to your soul.

And pretend,
I won't do it all,
All over again.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

She only tastes
When you taste
Her
Like melted...
...chocolates.*

© 2014 J.S.P.

As I draw your lips near,
Embracing all adversities,
Keeping true a premise,
Let us not set a feeling free.
Let us hold it tight perfected,
Together, like burning suns
Imploding, as final bursts
Of energies, a theory,
A star rid of infinities.*

© 2014 J.S.P.

You have made it.
You’ve just made your self invincible.
The fact that you own this heart of mine
Rendered me vulnerable:
     The freeze of your smile,
          The death in your goodbye,
               The craze I felt I almost wanted,

So here I am,
A soul stuck in a sleepless state,
Writing poems just to forget
     What they really were about,
For longing, yet again, is disallowed
Because you got your eyes fixed
     In the opposite direction
That I can hardly see your face, your stars,
     The blaze of stars.
  
Now let me wait, at least, stay,
So that I may be able
     To understand why...
Why of all
The constellations to choose from
I chose the farthest, the one
     Most difficult to reach,

Then slowly, just maybe,
I’ll forget the glow...
     ...that you possess.*

© 2010 J.S.P.

Don't raise those antlers, deer.*

© 2015 J.S.P.