The best part about waking up with a hangover

Is that I feel like so much ****

That six hours later

After the headache has passed

And solids stay where I want them to

And you suckerpunch me in the throat again

I find comfort knowing

At least

six hours earlier

I felt worse

Her confession for lack of a better word
Was confusing
Like that one time we lived in that house made of paper
And chain smoked
Till the draft came in
Just in case you didn’t know
You have to love someone
Before you don’t love them anymore
And you have to put the hell inside of me
Before you scare it out
It was almost as bad as that one time I was gunned down
On the corner of
Bad luck
And lonely
Maybe love has its casualties
But you can’t be a martyr for it
You can’t say you stuck around
Despite my anything
The door has always been right there
And I have always been right here
Perfectly human

So don’t **** the dawn
For rising the sun
Or expect the earth to stop spinning
Don’t tell me you don’t want me to love you
I’ll do it in secret
Like that one time
I sent you flowers
Signed
That other guy

The current love of your life
Perfect because of whatever
I couldn’t care less

Just
let’s go back a few years in time
So I can write you this note
“Check if you like me
Check if you don’t
Check if you’ll **** me
Check if you won’t”

No?
Too bad
I am two tall cans into this poem already
Least now
You’ve managed to put the hell in me
And as for martyrs
What do they do again?
Really
I just don’t wanna die lonely

Rhyme in my poetry is the kid in me

Having fun with the things

I’m supposed to take seriously

Since when was anything sacred anyway

I’ll let you watch me bathe

If that is the kind of naked game you wanna play

Like *** is sacred

I mean your body is no chapel

I’ll pick your shrapnel with my teeth

And yodel in the caverns of your canyon

Till your hips jive-talk my mouth a mountain

I mean you’ve got the youth-iest fountain

Woman

This is ***** talk

Why you laughin’?

No I don’t remember last time

I slipped myself the roofie

Didn’t think this’d happen unless I was loopy

Not that I’m a catch

Or that me getting you’s a stretch

Or that thing I asked you to do

Is really all that far-fetched

Just don’t ask me to take you seriously

Because like this ***** rhyme

And what we do on any given night’s a crime

And because when these clothes come off

You meet the kid in me

Who can’t take you

Or anything else all that seriously

Probably

I shouldn't have drank so much

At that gay bar last night

Because the hicky on my neck

Is a little too big

A little too purple

And she was so ******* gorgeous

She was

I think

At least I have comfort knowing

We are all beauful on the inside

These are the stages of worship

I pray for sleep
So that it might be tomorrow again
As long as there is a tomorrow
I can have a second chance at not ******* up so badly

Time machines are for those who
Don’t fully understand the paradox of change
I don’t want things to change
I just want a chance to make myself better

There is a vertical scar in the center of my chest
From bad biology
And an awkward urge to live
With just enough texture
That it could be the butterfly key
To a wind-up toy
Its slow revolution
Counts down my heartache till it stops

I accept
That we are inherently selfish
It is okay to be selfish
If we weren’t
we wouldn’t be here

I accept
That we are characterized by an innate
Ability to be inconsistent

I accept you
Perfectly

But I don’t want forgiveness
I know I drink too much
But when I drink I can feel
Without having to think

I know
You might not forgive me
For everything

Don’t

Just trust that my heart
And the heart of whoever made me
Is off somewhere where the right place might be
Wishing good intentions
Until my heart bursts

I know I am not perfect
I don’t want to be
But I know that somewhere along the line
At least
I was meant to be

I am an earthquake

In the desert

Working the rough sand to settle

In my belly

So that the ache in the pit of my gut

Might lose its shape

These shoulder blades feel like wings sometimes

Too bad these hands are prehensile

Not feathered or webbed

Just full of chemo-quake

And tremble

Unless I can hold your hand

Hold my hand

I’ll reverberate your ***** soul to settle

Till we’ve shaken the dust a firmament

Big enough to stand on

I need redemption enough

That stuck in the filter of my cleansing

Is enough dirt to build a hill to stand on

Forget heaven

When I can stand on the land of my past mistakes

And revel in the beauty I left behind

Don’t get left behind

And don’t go to heaven

Just stay with me in the middle

Where I have managed to compact this broken to solid

Like a ghost in a landfill

Haunt these hollow halls of filth with me

Until ***** is all that’s left

***** is all that is left

I understand that you might want to bathe sometimes

Not everyone can live like I do

Not everyone shares my infatuation

With broken things like I do

Let me get you just a little *****

Let me break you too

Let me recycle our fuckery

Till the filaments fit

I am a “found” artist

Making the broken beautiful

What everyone keeps forgetting

Is that even we are recyclable

And there isn’t anything that cannot be rebuilt

So let me make a new heaven

So that I can be like a ghost

Haunting a landfill

I want to go back
To when I was a child
And I didn’t know what it meant
To be self conscious

When beautiful was synonymous
To how nice a person was to you

When I used to fit in the smallest of places
Like in the cupboard under the kitchen sink

I never imagined it was anything other than
Underneath the kitchen sink

But I felt safe there
During bouts of my father’s fury

Like a mouse in a jar
When the dog’s tongue could still lick its cheek
Close enough to understand
The severity of teeth

In my living room
there is a hole in the floor
From a house fire
Just big enough for me to fit into
If I took the shape of a ball

I know I could never fill the hole in your chest

But my heart
Is a bomb shelter
Big enough for the both of us

And if beauty really can be synonymous with nice
Then call me gorgeous
‘Cause it’s all I got

No

Call me, Gorgeous
Why don’t you
You should have me on speed dial by now

I mean
I can bullet proof vest your lonely
And if you tell me I am handsome
I’ll probably fall in love with you

I mean
I am too awkward and lunky to fit anywhere nowadays
Other than a hole in a floor
When cigarette ash crop circled my fears back to life
And I realized that being a man means

Really

You have no place to hide

Unless

It’s in a bomb shelter
I built in the back of my heart

Probably

We could be safe there