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Jey Blu Mar 2018
The fire drill goes off
Students pour into the hallway
You don't see a fire
A single gunshot rings out
Another
Another
People are falling all around you
Students
Teachers
Friends
Screams echo
Tears run
Radio static
Shotgun
What kind of monster would do this?
You see your best friend crash to the floor
You run towards her but you are ushered away
GET OUT
GET AWAY
GET HELP
GET THE OFFICER
Running out the door as police file in
Watching through the window
Surrounding the shooter
Weapons drawn
Guns up
Click back
Pull trigger
Shooter falls dead to the floor
Silence
Medics rush in and run to the fallen
You can't find your brother
Please call your mother
Tears streaming down your face
Trying to go another place
Momma pulls up
She pulls you in a hug
A stretcher comes through the door where you escaped
Your brother's on the bed
There's a bullet in his head
Please please don't be dead
Sprinting over you scream
Bawling til there are no tears left
Rushing to the hospital
Following the ambulance
10 minutes later he's pronounced dead
Your stomach fills up with a sense of dread
Burying your brother isn't something you should have to do in high school
You see your best friend in the next room
Stuck in a coma and a bullet in her womb
Hours later
News on
14 injured
17 dead
All because of a kid that killed them when they were trying to save their lives.
Not great but I felt like writing something about it
Kind of based on Florida, mixed with other shootings
Jey Blu Mar 2018
I dream of you each night
As you keep sleep from coming

I woke up to your loving kiss
And I opened my eyes and saw nothing

You follow me to every place
But I am still alone

A gentle heartbeat in my soul
And a budding headache in my skull

I see you in every face I see
But I've no idea what you look like

Your fingertips race across my skin
Whisps of smoke only in my mind

I'm meant to spend my life with you
I wonder when I'll find you.
Jey Blu Mar 2018
Im just another pest
Im no different from the rest
Putting words together
So Im better
Im not convincing anybody
So maybe when they find my body
They'll see the pain etched on my skin
They'll see the pain that I've been living in
I hate this but I live for pain
Im not sure why, nothing to gain
Except more scars and more stares and more suicide scares
Test if anyone cares
Put a bullet to my head
Hold a blade up to my wrist
See if anyone moves
That would be a ******* twist
I'll drink some bleach
Set some fires
Who are the loudest criers
Not a tear shed for me
Except for one or two
Her and him and maybe you
I guess we soon will surely see
But which method shall it be?
Jey Blu Mar 2018
Thoughts racing
Hands shaking
Fingers itching
For that next pain
That next cut
But you promised
**** promises
They don't need me
Who needs this
**** life this
****** mind this
Foster system *****
Eyes closed
Silent screaming
Drawing pretty red pictures
Where it hurts
Say it hurts you
Its meant to hurt me
So don't pry
With your judging eyes
And I'll keep the secret
Its meant to be
Attempting to start writing raps or at least poems with sort of a rap-esque quality to them
Jey Blu Mar 2018
She finds you a few steps from the deck
A necklace of death is bound tight round your neck

A gasp and a scream are heard aloud
Around her mind forms a dark cloud

Your eyes are open, they look so dead
There's a purplish hue to your head

The rivers of blood didn't make you feel better
And now you couldn't be any deader

It seemed you were certain of what to do
And now your sister longs for you

She guesses you had to much to feel
And she's sorry she couldn't help you heal

She thinks back on every word she said
Saying, "that might be why you're dead."

You were her light, her truest friend
But your life has come to an end

She can't live this life without you
So she decides to be dead too

She scrambles up the stairs with hope
"Maybe there's another rope."

Her hand feels the frayed string
Finally she's found the thing

Tears run quicker down her face
And her heart begins to race

She sets back up the stool you kicked
Ready to feel the rope constrict

She take a breath and steps on up
The cuts on your arm weren't cleaned up

She reaches up behind her head
And touches the blade with a sense of dread

She draws the last cut she will ever make
Deep and without caution, feeling the ache

Blood dripping, she grabs the noose
She tries to stop herself, its no use

She moves the noose around her neck
She knows her life was just a wreck

She kicks the little stool away
Wishing you had chosen to stay

She struggles to take her final breath
But finding comfort in oncoming death

Her heart rate is beginning to slow
Your dead eyes are the last thing she'll know

Her final breath is a quiet sigh
This is her last and final goodbye

Her last heart beat is an empty thump
And her shoulders lightly slump

From you she could not be apart
So now you both have a still heart
Jey Blu Mar 2018
is there a place
is there a mindset

where i can sleep for ten thousand years
where i can run from all these demons

when i can close my eyes
when i can forget how good it is to hurt

is there a place
is there a mindset

where i can smile without pain behind my eyes
where i can stop picking at my nails to keep me from screaming

when i can breathe
when i can clear my mind and the tears from my eyes

is there a place
is there a mindset

where i see the good in people
where darkness doesn't leak into every crack in the light

when i can stand up straight and proud
when i don't have to hide every flaw

is there a place
is there a mindset

where i can be free

         .  .  .  .  
        
it's called home
  Mar 2018 Jey Blu
Her
My name is Erin
and i was *****
at the age of 7

it has taken me
14 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth

the only questions i come to now
is why
why lock me in that room
why take everything from me
my innocence
my purity
my childhood

in that room
where my family trusted you
where i trusted you
the night terrors i have to this day
still haunt my mind

like a never ending
drive in movie that plays
over
and
over
only the moon in the night sky
isnt made to be found here
there is no light in these terrors

i cant sleep this time of year
because every time i do
its you
in that room
locking the door
shutting the windows
******* me
yelling at me
every single night
i close my eyes

it has taken me 14 years
to accept the fact that i was taken by you
i have been numb ever since
left in the dust
rotting away at the core
thinking i was nothing
thinking i deserved nothing
because you took everything

but not anymore
i will recover from this
i am strong enough
i believe in myself
i believe in my own happiness
and i promsie
that when i have children one day
i will never ever let them rot at the core
i will find happiness
the darkness will not take over this time
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