One finger is all it takes
To shoot a gun, loaded
With the tiniest bullet in the world.
The kind of ammunition that kills –
Slowly.
It latches onto your skin,
Seeping in, unseen and invisible
Spreading to your bones, your veins
Diffusing into your bloodstream,
Undetected until the blood pours out.

I’m staring directly into the barrel,
At the point where I see nothing
And though I can’t see inside,
I can see into the future.
Where I can see that a single finger –
Even the smallest one –
Is strong enough to pull the trigger.
The gun is cocked, ready to be shot
And the one thing that is holding it back
Is a mystery.

Help me
I’m trapped, falling into the abyss
All I can see is darkness
Voices whisper to me as I sink
And no one can hear them but me.

Save me
The walls are closing in
And my arms are getting squeezed too tight
Please, loosen the ropes around me
Catch me before I fall again.

Release me
I see the light through a hole in the cave
But the glimpse only lasts a second
And just as quickly as it arrived,
The light disappears.

          It is dark again.

A scared, sad little girl arose from her seat
At the dinner table, where thoughts went off beat.
Her plate empty, her stomach full,
And a brain filled with plans
To become a perfect little girl.

So she slowly sunk back to her room
Laid down on her bed, dark thoughts abloom.
Surrounded by the evil voices in her head,
And despite the howls and the screeching sounds,
Those terrible thoughts, she could not shred.

When she later arose with a tear-stained face,
She stalked to the sink, and gripped onto its base.
A glance in the mirror, a monster she saw,
With tiny seeds of self-love and self-hate
And out came that dinner, once and for all.

Eventually invisibility was all anyone could see
As she withered away, she was happy as could be.
Our beauty now lives with a broken mind, body, and soul,
But because of her secret no one shall know,
She forever has a heart full of sadness and holes.

The secrets you keep **** me inside
Every little word you spoke was a lie.
You took the most precious key that I had
And used it for nothing but grief and passion gone mad.
A robber, a murderer, a liar you are
Making me hate every last breath that you draw.
I hate how I love the feeling of your skin
But you’re a conniving cheater, man’s biggest sin.
You took a love given only once every life
Now filling my heart and my body with strife.
Deep feelings of anger and sorrow now abide
In the corners and crevices hidden in my mind.
What to do, what to think, even what to feel
Are wonders unknown to this broken down peel.

I look up into the beaming sun
With bright, shining blue eyes
And I can see through the arising grey curtain
That more thunder is forthcoming.

I stare at the movement around me
Yet I don’t see anything at all
And the smell of the taunting dew haunts me
With the knowledge of newness and cleansing for others.

I feel the water dripping down my face
But I do not know where I am
And the pebbles piercing tires in the street
Fail to drain through the specially placed holes in the curb.

I taste the mud and the drops of desire on the tip of my tongue
As I gasp with relief, the sky clears
And I am blinded by the sun
Yet almost immediately, drought and desire return again.

My nails get shorter
My eyes get wider
My smile gets duller
My skirt gets tighter
Leaves fall
Flowers wilt
Children call
Pictures tilt
Questions arise
Seats empty
The wedded despise
No one’s free
It has the ultimate power
To ruin lives and love
It increases every ******* hour
And burns our skin from above
Guns are built
Trees are uprooted
Blood is spilt
Cries come from the new kid
No one can win
It all ends in a tie
It’ll crack our heads in
So get ready to die.

Drumsticks pound at a continuous beat
For every fourth count they sound
And they resonate like the drone
Of a hive of bumblebees.
Common sense tells oneself to hide –
Run far, far away from the sound of the drone –
For if one gets too close, a sting will ensue.
I, however, cannot run;
The hive is in my head,
And it gets louder every day.
No spray, no poison can terminate
No net, no flower can rid
My mind of the little terrors
Lurking at the end of my ear canals.

For the monsters are trapped –
I am trapped – in an invisible prison,
A prison which was has no key, no guards.
With impenetrable walls of steel
And the torture of loudness that
Not even an immortal could endure.
But the worst term of my sentence is time –
I will be here for a very long time –
As I will be imprisoned here
Forever.