I feel the tendrils creeping in
Wrapping around my core, my neck
The muscles slowly strengthen, suffocating me
Making my calls so muted they’re virtually nonexistent.
I’m shouting though I can’t breathe,
But no one can hear my screams from the
Deep, dark trenches of the shadowy sea
As unbeknownst creatures emerge,
Leaving their places of sweet asylum
And intruding upon mine,
Yet, I still am stranded here in this place.
I don’t even know where I am,
But the voices of fear and insecurity in my mind,
Tell me what I need to do - when, why, how -
Steadily I hear a crescendo of a piano some distance away,
So far, almost on the outskirts of the complex town inside my mind,
Though I discover the music is waiting just around the bend.
A flats, F sharps – getting louder, louder!
“Stop!” I am screaming now
Or at least I think that’s me.
But the music blocks out my voice
That tender little voice of mine.
Suddenly, as I see a blonde-haired head pop up,
I lose my balance, and I begin to fall
Deep into an abyss, a magical abyss
With walls that close in more and more the farther I drop.
As the yellow light above me slowly dims,
I expect a rope, a ladder, anything,
But there is no one there to save me.
I realize the opening I see is a barrel,
And I am staring directly into its wide-eyed face.
A click tells me that the trigger is ready,
As the melody overtakes me and
I am caught in a whirlwind of music.
Spinning, spinning, everything going round and round
All I can see is the darkness behind my eyelids.
So I cry out loud yet again
But no one comes to my side,
Which doesn’t matter, I guess –
I don’t want my skin to be a bulletproof sheath,
Protecting and preserving my unyielding wall.
I want the demons to infiltrate my soul and strip me of this agony
So that I can finally smile amidst the ocean’s fury
As the tornado destroys my mind
And the tendrils of the music pull me in.

You radiate magnificence and truth
A soft luster attracts the greatest love
Shimmering with halcyon times of youth
I, your chemistry undeserving of.

Loose molecules are forgettable threads
Yet the simplest dissolve and agonize
The scattered musings in your mind are webs
Great Walls of which I cannot hydrolyze.

You’re the one element I deeply crave
But we’re no match; I am passionate red -
If a one thousand sixty-three heat wave
Should pass, I’d make a mold of the unsaid.

All that glitters is not gold, people say.
But in my eyes, your shine’ll never decay.

I know that this is wrong, our bodies intertwined so;
But when my leg touches your leg,
And your leg touches my leg,
Even the sharpest strike of lightning could in no way
Ignite the fire that the friction of our skin creates.
Why must there be only twelve numbers on the clock?
For our time of now has been cut short, snipped by
The scissors of Fate, and only one thread remains to determine
If we shall ever meet again.

The tousled blanket and the pillow falling off the bed
Are the only remaining evidence of our existence;
Yet when I make the bed at dawn,
I will flatten the sheets,
I will straighten the pillows,
and I will bid you goodbye.
And as I sit here alone, the door locked until time persists,
I remember the volcanic essence of our nights together -
The way your touch sends shivers down my spine -
And the whiteness of your eyes coming at me from the darkness of your face.

Now that we have parted and the holy aura from our bodies gone,
My brain can only feel the chemicals left by your aroma.
Nothing remains but the memory of scorching breaths and sticky arms
As well as the feeling of your smooth bicep lying across my bare chest -
The story of two star-crossed lovers with a finale seemingly as tragic.

One step onto the sidewalk is a burst of fresh air inside my lungs
As I feel the explosion of feeling provoking expression
The possibilities just around the corner are waiting
Like a passerby anxiously waiting to cross the street
Hectic intersections before the destination
The objective? A trace of importance, matter

Eyes dart around like gnats, testing the waters
Frightened thoughts **** and pearly white teeth flash
Nervousness pervading through the crowds
A performer’s opening act
Creating a new era
An unknown journey’s dawn

The first breath on Earth
Expectations
Happiness
Future
Hope

Sometimes I feel blessed by the Gods
These gifts I’ve received
But I am not Hercules
I don’t deserve any sort of Chiron
I don’t want any benefaction
Take them away,
These powers – superpowers
That have been bestowed upon my soul.

I am not a hero,
I am not an extraordinary being –
I am sub-par,
A simple human at best,
And I don’t want my skin
To be a bulletproof sheath
Protecting and preserving the unyielding wall
Between Olympus and Earth.

You don’t know what you have until it’s gone
The things we take for granted
Forget to be thankful for,
Even on the most thankful of holidays.

These things are lungs
Pulling life in, pushing death out –
Stretching
Constricting
Diffusing
Incomprehensible

Two porous sacs so seemingly simple
Yet so complex, so undeniably fragile
Connected only by a string
Easily snipped like a thread of hair.

Two vital organs so seemingly complex
Yet so simple, so surmountable
A few puffs, one burst
And suddenly defunct forever.

Like a springtime blossom
Lungs are Her Romeo and Juliet
Growing
Flowering
Collapsing
Forsaken

Come winter, the leaves will fall
Barren branches remain
Bereft of in and outs
Leaving only a cavity in the chest.

I tried to write a poem today
but then I realized
I don’t feel anything.

I am numb.