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Jayce Jun 2018
I had an English professor tell me that love was hard to write.
At first, I scoffed at her. I'd written about love almost all my life.
But then I realized that I'd only been writing about what I thought love was.
I wrote about men who put their hands around my neck all the while thinking of how easy it'd be to snap it.
I wrote about people I'd considered my friends who held their hands out to me for help only to turn their backs when I asked the same of them.
I wrote about people who came into my life with promises of warmth and understanding, but took my clothes off and never helped me put them back on.
I thought love was supposed to hurt because it was all I'd ever done. In all honesty, I don't know what love is.
Jayce Apr 2018
When you get addicted to something, when you get really sick and there are more bad days than good, you learn something about people.

You'll expose your neck only for it to be ripped open, leaving you frantic and gasping for air.

You'll present your belly only to lose everything inside you that was keeping you alive.

You'll have created a pack only to have your heart torn from your chest by those you once ate, slept, and grew with.

We're just animals. If you let your weaknesses show, you'll wind up dead.
Jayce Mar 2018
Your heart is big. It's too much for some people. Learn to guard it from the people who wrap their hands around your neck whose kisses taste like blood.
Your sadness is overwhelming. You have to teach yourself not to drown the people you love. Eventually they'll learn to swim, and it won't be towards you.
Loneliness lives within you. Fight it without destroying yourself in the process.
Love is addicting. Love exists. Love is toxic. Love hurts. Good luck.
Jayce Mar 2018
i am meat
i'm useful only for consumption

stunning, incapacitating
"i'll split you in two"
you're killing me!

how would you like to dress my flesh?

grinding
am i tender enough?

bleeding
put me on display
i'm just a trophy
am i the best piece of meat you've ever had?
Jayce Mar 2018
I sit at the table with my sadness in front of me and with trembling hands I pick up my fork and
Consume
I taste regret and loneliness and guilt and -
I am choking but what do you use to dilute the worst parts of your life?
Losing air -
I am going to die with all my hurt caught in my throat
Fading -
I am going to die never knowing what happiness tastes like
Dark -
I wanted to know peace.
Jayce Mar 2018
If I could stop swallowing pain in gulps that choke me
If I could learn to breathe when I find myself sinking into despair
If I could trick myself into remaining calm when waves of agony and heartbreak threaten to drown me
I might learn to love swimming again
Jayce Dec 2017
The imp on my back
Tells me that I am not loved
That I am merely a place holder

The imp on my back
cannot see me cry
but he can feel me shake

So he knows he's won.
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